Cyber Underdogs

When I was small I learnt an important lesson through sheer accident. And the lesson was that the “underdog” always gets public support. Even if the ‘underdog’ was pretending to be the underdog and was actually the villain of the piece, he/she will always get support because people love to take up for the ‘underdog’.

As a kid I realized that I was no match for my arch rival, my second brother M. Like a true brother, M loved annoying me and making me scream. And when I lashed out at him in anger; he would merely hold my hand and fend me off while I tried to wildly kick him. And while all my effort to kick, scratch and pull his hair went in vain, I had the double ignominy of watching him grin triumphantly. So I did what I had to do. I screamed. Because I realized screaming and sobbing when the elders arrived running from all corners of the house made them annoyed enough to give my brother a ticking off!! :p

It was very satisfying to watch my arch rival get a ticking off for troubling “your poor helpless baby sister” and “bullying a small girl?” etc. ( One of the few advantages of being the youngest in the house is that you remain the ‘baby’ of the house till eternity) It was lack of creativity that drove me to this novel method while I could actually get back at him by merely ignoring him!! But like millions of sisters worldwide I too fell for the bait specifically designed to irritate me :)

Supporting the underdog or the “underdog” syndrome, is so powerful that most of us get swept by it. I broke out of this syndrome when a couple of instances of blind loyalty to my friends made me ignore the “other side of the story” leading to some very red face when I realized that the person I had defended was the actual culprit! Since then I have become the ‘devils advocate’. But then I am not entirely infallible. I do get taken in by sob stories initially till good ‘ol common sense kicks in or gives me a solid kick.

Off late I have come across some people/bloggers who use the “underdog syndrome” to great effect. They craft stories based on their lives in which they are shown as an underdog, while the other characters of the story are strategically characterized so that that readers like hypnotized zombies hate/love/sympathize with these characters according to the writer’s design. Soon the 'underdog' gets sympathy and support and a large number of 'protective' and sympathetic fans. If a stray reader were to raise a question about the ‘sob story’ he/she is immediately looked upon by horror by the others readers like thief found stealing from a frail old lady.

The feeling of protectiveness is so strong, that the readers will not tolerate any voice of dissent against the ‘underdog”, i.e the writer. Many of these readers will go out of their way to help the ‘underdog’. The ‘underdog’ becomes an icon. If someone starts questioning the story of the ‘underdog’… the writer who is a master in this game will play the part of the ‘poor accused’ well by taking the questions/accusation gracefully and thus raking in more supporters.

Politicians and leaders, ordinary people, younger siblings [:p] have all used this ‘trick’ to great effect. It is high time we shed the herd mentality and looked at both sides of the coin whether it is a news item or a Blog. There is always an ‘other’ side of the story.

The World Wide Web is happy hunting ground for such pseudo “underdogs”. All with private agendas of their own. Be careful of people and causes you espouse.

Weight loss made easy

Weight loss clinics are mushrooming everywhere in Bengaloooru. Guess the prosperity of the Benaglooru janagalu has gone to their waist, hips, thighs etc. with a vengeance. You get clinics with fancy names like ‘VLCC’ and ‘Inspiration’ and downright sleazy monikers like ‘Ritu’s Massage cum Weight Loss Clinic’ (Not sure if the Pun is intended or not) Whatever be their name or location or Interior Decoration, they all promise to melt down that fat in a jiffy, leaving you with bods that will make a Stick Insect go green with envy.

I was passing by one of these “Weight Loss” clinics the other day. A large banner behind an anorexic mannequin showcased several success stories. The 6 foot mannequin was made of about approximately 500 gms of plastic I think. So you can imagine how anorexic it looked. If Kate Moss were to pass this way, she would probably pass out in sheer jealousy.

The banner showcased several case studies. There was the photo of one Mrs Aggarwal. Fat, jovial and kinda nice and homely looking, sitting and smiling at the camera under the "Before" caption. She looked dignified in the silk saree, mangal sutra and large bindi.

And then there was the same Mrs Aggarwal standing in a very coquettish pose, around 200 pounds less and leaning on a chair showing her cleavage. Her head was thrown back and a leg folded up showing off her 8 inch spiky stilettos. This was under the “After" caption. Her body looked vaguely familiar. Then it struck me that this was body of Kareena Kapoor playing host to the rather comely face of Mrs Aggarwal. Mrs Aggarwals face was neatly grafted onto Kareena's body with the help of Adobe Photoshop!

While the slim body of Mrs Aggarwal seems to cry out "Look at me baby, I am so hot!!" her face seemed to say "Arey munnu ke papa, ration ki dukaan jaana math bhoolna!" Very unnerving I tell you.

Anyways this just goes to show that weight loss clinics are not threat to our culture. Beneath that sexy bod, Mrs Aggarwal is still the same pati vrata nari.

I wonder what they did with Kareena's head. Served it on a platter on Shakeela's torso elsewhere? I shudder to think of the consequences.

And I wonder what Mr Aggarwal said when he saw his brand new wife? I don’t think he said anything. But I am sure Munnu got himself a brand new sibling and Mrs Aggarwal was back to the clinic. What a vicious vicious circle *sigh*

Then there was the photo of a gentleman named Mr Menon. Mr Menon was fat with a huge belly and looked like he was pregnant with several kegs of beer. This photo was under the "before" caption. Under the "After" caption, Mr Menon had shrunk considerably and looked like a desi Brad Pitt. I had that feeling of déjà vu again. I had seen that bod somewhere. Then it struck me that it was John Abraham’s bod!! I can recognize that bod anywhere!!!

I wonder what they did with John’s head. Shift + Delete? *sob*

If the makers of Adobe Photoshop got a penny for every “Before” and “After” advertisement made by these weight loss clinics, they can shut shop and live on the proceeds for the rest of their lives!!

Justice only at a price

Sometime back a young girl was raped and murdered…one among the many such incidences that have happened and are happening around the country. We read about it one day and then a new event catches our eye. What happens to the people you read about the other day? What is happening to these cases? Are the guilty being punished or let off due to lack of evidence or do these cases just disappear into thin air? Or does the government machine quietly chug its way and chase the case to its end?

We the public tend to lose interest to such events after the initial reaction to such news. And if I want to know what happened to these cases, the bureaucratic apparatus is so well laid out that it might take me many frustrating forms and babus pockets to fill and long hours in musty government building corridors to get to know what happened. In fact I will be laughed off the government building if I were to inquire what happened to such cases.

Nobody ever knows what happens to these cases. The high profile cases attract some attention, till a newer and more gruesome act is performed by someone else. And the ‘fresher’ news gets our attention.

It is true that we are a populous nation and our Police Stations are understaffed. But what alarms me is the lethargy that one finds in the cops when you go to a station with a complaint.

Recently the Police sold an ‘unclaimed’ body to the St John’s College and Hospital. It was later revealed that the body had 32 stab injuries. The son of the deceased raised a hue and cry and the body was released to him and the cops pulled up. How many such cases are shoved under the carpet? Scores of bodies are found on the railway tracks in Karnataka…the cops merely keep it in the morgue and dispose it off if it is unclaimed to medical colleges for a fee. No attempt is made to find the family or killers.

Today Police Stations have become place where you file an FIR so that you can collect the Insurance, Inheritance etc. The cops have stopped making investigations unless the case is high profile or the victims have ‘connections’. There is a marked lethargy among the Police force. They have become mere paper pushers now.

God help us all.

Emotions or hysteria?

The Indian Idol mania seems to have gripped most regional TV channels. I saw another version of the same with Shaan as anchor. This time the participants were kids. Towards the end of the program a kid was eliminated. The kid took the elimination quite gamely. Then to my horror, one of the judges, a female playback singer volunteered to sing a farewell song for the kid who was eliminated. I couldn’t believe that someone would something so foolish!! But it was real and happening! She stared singing a mournful farewell song and the kids face crumpled and she started sobbing.

Shaan looked like he wanted to slap the lady himself, but being the gracious anchor he is consoled the child. Soon other participants were also crying and so were the kids parents. It was mayhem and left me boiling. The playback singer kept singing totally in love with her voice and the show deteriorated to mass hysteria.

If I was the kid’s parent or guardian I would have stepped in and stopped the lady from abusing the kid. Yes, this was abuse…this was emotional abuse of a kid!!! And the lady should be arrested for the same!!! And what was pathetic was that not a mention of this was made in any papers or news channel!

I saw a similar episode on a Malayalam channel with Usha Uthup as one of the judges. Even this lady couldn’t control her emotions when a contestant was eliminated. What are you trying to say? That "I am helpless because the cruel SMS’ing public is so clueless"??? What message does this give out? That life sucks?

It is high time someone puts in checks and balances to reality shows. Emotions are natural but if whipped up can have disastrous consequences. Will it take the suicide of a contestant for people to wake up? And wake up they will and ask for a ban on reality shows!!! After all we cannot expect a public that watches these shows to make rational decisions!

Winning and losing is not the only element of the game. There is something else called “taking defeat gamely” too! And it is this vital element that is missing from most of these shows.

p.s Do check out this post on reality shows in the Philippines.

hmmm

Like most average girls, I have also grumbled about the restrictions of being a girl. I always thought boys had it easy. They didn't have to worry about bad hair days, broken nails, pimples, blotchy complexion, PMS, mothers etc etc etc. But after reading this post I am totally over the feeling of self pity.

Girls, you don't know how lucky we are!!

Fostering corruption

The other day when a friend was buying some sweets, a couple of Sales Tax officers in mufti, walked into the shop. They caught the shop owner selling sweets without a bill. The shop owner immediately barked at his assistants to pack the best available sweets and pressed it into the sales tax officer’s hands. He wouldn't take a "no" from them and with great humility insisted that they take the sweet. He was finally let off with a severe warning. The officers were clearly disarmed by the shop owner’s affable and courteous behavior. But they were not too happy to let him off the hook.

I have heard of several such incidents. Officials saying ‘no’ to a bribe but being gently coaxed to take it by people who want to be let off the hook. We are so used to calling government servants corrupt that that we fail to realize that it is we who make them corrupt by paying them to bend laws on our behalf.

How did corruption start? It surely did not start with the government employee getting up one fine day and exclaiming in surprise and delight at his powers and making a resolution to use his gift to the fullest extent!!

Corruption would have begun when people realized the advantages a government servant had and bribed him to avail of those advantages. I am sure people who bribe know the system better than the people who take bribe!

Recently I went with SP to the Indiranagar RTO. This RTO was a hot bed of corruption a few years ago, mostly due to touts and the driving school mafia running a thriving racket here. A Lok Ayukta raid changed all that. This RTO became one of the cleanest and most efficient RTO overnight. I know because I got my bike license from here.

SP was through with the DL in record time without paying anything except the DL fees. On the other hand, there were some people whom we saw bribing a reluctant and clearly apprehensive official to push their papers a little faster.

Do these people realize that they are undoing the work of the Lok Ayukta? The Lok Ayukta raid had made life much easier for thousands of people who make their Licenses here without the hassles that plagued them earlier. Are they aware of the dis service they are doing to the rest of the citizenry because they do not want to stand in the queue?

I think people giving bribes should be more severely prosecuted that people accepting a bribe. A person who bribes is an anti social element. He/She creates corruption. Period.

Close encounters with frustrations

A comment I received at Poomanam

Quote "I dream of the day when I will give my blog URL to the person who says "Tell me something about yourself " Unquote

So that, the person will understand:

1.Your views on life are pretty shallow

2.You are arrogant to the core

3.You are a noisy, messy, talk-more-listen-less person

4.You are a religious fundamentalist, under your 'cool' secularist skin

5.You fall flat for flattery

6.You never can take any kind of criticism

7.You look down on most of the people, especially your bosses

8.You are almost insanely self-centric

9.You never have read/understood/appreciated any half-decent literature

10.You drink and drive

11.You do fool people with sweet talk

12.You make silly grammatical and punctuation mistakes that are intolerable in marketing communication.

13.You like showing off your vocabulary, which, again, is intolerable in marketing communication.

14.You will write high school essays for marketing communication purposes

15.You think that you are Erma Bombeck (Bombeck sucks, by the way)


A half-funny line you managed to write in the last six months is,

Ammachi: *whew* you scared me Annamme!! It just means you are standing on his slippers!!

Keep writing. You are, of course, better than many, though nowhere near good. Get over with your infatuation with mediocrity, if you care. (Ever wondered why the fans of your blog are such pathetic writers themselves?)


This was a comment I received after the "Say it right" post.This is just a sample of the type of frustrations people throw at my blog. Of course I rejected it without a thought. And I also know who wrote it, but that is besides the point. What I have learnt in my two years of blogging is that there are too many people getting into blogging for fame and fortune. And when they don't get it, they take out their frustrations with comments like this. Blogging is the freedom of having your say no matter how crappy your language is or how bad your English is! Thankfully most bloggers I know, enjoy the informal creative outlet of blogs and are the richer from the experience.

Today I found another instance of someone copying my posts. If it wasn't so funny I would have been hopping mad :p

p.s Dont miss this excellent post by Pradeep Nair on Kerala.

An old friend and compatriot

One of my fondest memories of Kerala and childhood was the njaar. A sort of a small river or brook or stream which flows independently for some stretch before joining a larger river. The njaar flows half a kilometer away from my Dad's house, but the gurgling of its flowing water can be heard throughout the day, more pronounced during the night. I have slept to its gurgles and chuckles and woke up to its roar.

As soon as we reached "home" we the kids would clamor to be taken to the brook. Ammachi would click her tongue and tell us to get acclimatized to the weather and well water first before plunging into the cold mountain water. She always knew it was a losing battle but she tried anyways. The preparation for bathing in the brook was simple. Copious amounts of fresh coconut oil drizzled on the crown of the head and we were ready to go. Being the youngest I had to hold on to my ammachi's hand as she lived in perpetual fear of me being washed away. She would snort with indignation on the way back when people jocularly exclaimed that they were so relieved to see me alive [:p] Her phobias were well known to all and sundry! :)

The first sight of the brook, glistening in the sun is indescribable! It was like spotting a dear old friend waiting for us to come back to play with him. Getting out of our clothes was a record breaking feat and the first plunge bought shrieks and screams as the cold water touched our warm bodies leaving us gasping at its icy coldness. After that it was nightmare time for my ammachi as she could never get us out of the water. Finally she would have to send word to the house to get my Dad to come down and get us out of the water. My Dad would come down and haul us out or most of the times join us in the water. Ammachi's "yatha raja tatha praja" still rings in my ears :))

Finally when we got out, we compared our shriveled hands and legs. The one who was soaked the most got admiring and envying glances.

The brook brings back a lot of memories. Of freshly pressed coconut oil and ammachi and thorth fishing. Of clinging on to my Dad's slippery back while he swam in the deeper areas, Dad’s *ouch* as I grasped the hair on his back for fear of falling in the river, Pears soap, glass bottles filled with tiny fishes, cold mountain water and shouts of flash floods! Of lying in the water looking at the sky and peeping into the clear bottom of the small river. Jumping off rocks into the small depth pockets and tiny fishes nibbling on our legs. Of coconuts and other flotsam that floated downstream on its way to some land far far away and sulks when we were told to get out and dry ourselves. Of my Dad or Ammachi taking us to see the elephants that worked in the Teak plantations to compensate for pulling us out of water and sheer blissful times of skipping ahead of them through dense paddy fields and rubber tree forests.

The njaar still flows. Instead of rollicking kids you see plastic, old slippers and such effluvia floating in it. The water bodies of Kerala are dead. A culture is dead. Long live the water bodies of Kerala.

Beyond the city limits

About four or five years back, four families set off to a picnic spot a little away from Bangalore. This picnic spot is famous for its waterfall and boating facilities. Soon the boys in the family, all four of them and a friend wanted to go swimming. They entered the water and were swept away by a powerful undercurrent, quite common in this place. All five of them drowned.

Seems like a newspaper article. But the story was/is not so simple and straightforward as it seems. While the boys shouted for help, the fisherman cum boat owners watched apathetically. They didn’t raise a finger to help the boys. They said the current was too fast and that it would be risky to enter the water. The actual reason? A rescue mission would get them a reward of maybe 100-200 rupees. But fishing out dead bodies is charged @ Rs10.000/- per body. The fisherman watched the struggling boys being washed downstream ignoring the frantic cries of their parents for help. After they were sure that the boys were dead, they came forward to help the parent’s fish out the bodies.

The news hit the headlines. Bangalore was shocked. People from all walks of life grieved for the family that had lost five strapping teenage sons. There were noises from the government corridors about putting more warning signs or perhaps prohibiting bathing in the place. The noises died down even before the bodies became cold.

The newspapers never reported the apathy of the fishermen or their Vulture like death watch over the boys. People still talk about this tragedy as the news made headlines, especially since another son from the same family had laid his life down for the country at Kargil just a month before.

The fisherman here make a killing (pardon the term) fishing out dead bodies with at least 20 deaths reported every year during my school and college days.

Recently a photographer friend of mine was knocked unconscious on a Whitefield road when his bike hit a stone. When he came to, he realized that his expensive camera was missing. While searching for his camera in the neighborhood, an old and wizened man came up to him and offered to return his camera for Rs 1000/-. My friend gratefully took the offer as his camera cost close to two lakhs rupees!

These are not one off instances. There are many such tales that are never told in the newspapers. The city, to the poor is a land of opportunity not only as a source of jobs but also a source of alternate income in the guise of city dwellers who make good pickings if utilized well in vulnerable situations. And some of the tales you hear of accident victims will leave you shaken. Many are robbed of their belongings. One man even died while frantic villagers twisted and turned his broken body to make sure that they had taken everything they could from his person.

It is not as if the poor/marginalized are evil. But their lot is very bad and like starving people eating rats, they prey on anyone who can get them a square meal or two.

If only the grislier account of an accident is made public, the government would be forced to put in checks and balances or issue advisories and warnings on highways.

p.s wishing all of you a very HAPPY ONAM!!!

The lone despised voice

A male chauvinist pig was a term used in the 1960s among feminists for men, who believed that men were superior and expressed that opinion freely in word and action.

This was a word we jocularly attested to guy friends and colleagues when they made some typical male remarks about women, more in jest and to provoke us gals than with any typical MCP feelings.

But from the time I have started working, this term has taken on a whole new meaning, a whole new connotation with a certain species of males i.e. the mallu male!

Most IT companies are like extensions of engineering colleges nowadays. The campus atmosphere prevails and I have met hundreds of techies from Kerala. Time and again I heard the term “MCP” being used to describe a guy. I never gave it a thought till I got a mail from an ex colleague informing me that another ex colleague, Jojan was getting married. He remarked “for an MCP, Jojan seems to be in a hurry to get married!” It was then I realized that the label “MCP” has a certain meaning for the mallu male youth.

From my research I have learnt that the term MCP among the young mallu crowd denotes a guy who has become bitter about womenfolk after being jilted by a gal. But the situation is not so simple as I have described here! Scratch beneath the surface and you get a different story, something that is akin to the "instant devdas” description.

Most guys who proudly claim to be MCP's have an unhealthy dislike towards gals who had the gall to change their mind about their boyfriends. These guys consider the move by the girl as being “unfaithful” and “typical impulsive gal behavior” They tend to color every woman thereafter in the same hue.

I have actually sat and talked a self confessed MCP out of his MCP'ishness by pointing out that his ex girl friend had taken a wise decision to end their relationship because they were obviously mismatched. His view was that she had jilted him. He refused to see that she had taken an educated decision and from his description of the story, I empathized with her. He seemed stuck at the fact that she had left him. His ego was bruised. The fact was that he was emotionally not mature enough to evaluate the relation ship as a bond between two people with distinct identities and respect the other party’s point of view. He was still stuck in the time when women “adjusted” to their men and not vice-versa. He did come out of it, only to remark ruefully that he would never get along with such women. He is now a happily arranged married guy :)

What I see in these guys is a little scary. They do not believe in “going steady” and ascertaining if a gal was the right match for them. Love is an easy uncomplicated “affair” for them. 1. They see gal. 2. They like gal. 3. Approach the girl. 4. They start seeing each other. 5. Time to inform parents. 6. Girl accepts the situation meekly. As simple as ABC!!

But the tide has turned. Girls want more than just a guy in their life. They want a compatible partner in their lives. They have begun to evaluate their guy and take the bold decision to end a relationship if they found it incompatible. But the label they earn for such a move is rather harsh and unfair!

I am now beginning to sympathize with the Malayalee female folk who made MCP’s of their guys. All that these girls did was say “no when it mattered most!

I know I will get a lot of flak for this post. But some men just do not wish to upset the applecart because it was tilted in their favor.

p.s the latest word to emerge from this crowd is "I am a cynic!"

p.p.s I am aware of unfaithful women! This post is not about them!

Nirvana in the classroom

I am stuck in a really boring training session. As the Instructor drones on and on about Privacy Policies, my drifts away to get away from something that has no weight in my scheme of things.

I notice my colleagues for the first time. They are from different parts of the world. Some are listening attentively; some are trying to fight the look of absolute boredom on their faces. I look around the room and realize that all of us are here because this is necessary to make us more competent communication people who will not make gaffes that will make some lawyers rich. It is an important class but if someone were to appear and say that he has three tickets to eternal freedom from work and a life without worries of money or job security then I think everyone will jump at the chance.

How many of us are working because we like it? Most of us work because we need to work, as it is the way the world is wired. From childhood to adulthood one spends most of his time in a cramped classroom preparing to work in a cramped cubicle. And when one reaches that cramped cubicle, one saves and scrimps for that cramped Apartment a.k.a dream house. Is that what life is all about? Somehow I don’t think so.

I think life happens to a 'few of us'. And this 'few of us' make the living population of this Earth. Somewhere in the cauldron of this galaxy some chemical reaction took place making the Planets and the stars and beings that could move and think. I think each and every one of us here is among the lucky few who were products of that chemical reaction that enabled us come into existence. We are the lucky few who are not floating around the Universe as gas, dust and other particles.

Given a choice between life and nothingness, I guess the obvious choice is “life”. It makes sense now. What thinkers and philosophers were trying to say. That life is a gift. Be happy for being an assembled being of this Galaxy than a disassembled scattered cloud of gas, acid and other matters. And make use of this opportunity to experience the joy of being alive before you die and disassemble to being the dust of this universe.

Among the people who are alive today, how many realize that we have a precious few years of “life”? Not many I guess. Perhaps that is why Buddha left everything to attain eternal peace. He realized that he had only one life to live and hence removed everything that might interfere in his quest for the perfect life, the perfect happiness.

Well I am not saying that all of us should head for the hills. That would not be feasible besides there are too many of us and too few hills. And the environment pollution would be catastrophic!

But since none of us know what is going to happen after death, why not make the most of it? A lot of religious teachings are beginning to make sense now. Now only if those religious teachers were as direct as I am [:p] I think we would have a perfect world. (Please note God, the power of blogs!! :p)

Nirvana in the classroom: Like someone said that darkness is the absence of light moi the great fraud Buddha says that life is a fluke, a stroke of luck. Be happy that you got lucky and enjoy it while it lasts.

Now I wish someone would “educate” my Boss *sigh* He has threatened me with death by stoning if I don’t complete this training. Doesn’t he realize that he is taking away precious minutes of my life on earth? Brrrr To think that I am writing this, my 150th post under the Instructors nose makes me feel so deliciously cheeky :p

Thinking Bloggers

I have been picked by Pradeep Nair as a 'Thinking Blogger'. Pradeep is one of the few journalists I respect. I think his blog is one of the last bastions of the old school of journalism i.e. matter of fact reporting with no biases or personal prejudices coloring the news and his views.

There are three parts to this tag.

First I am supposed to pass this on to five people. I will digress from my usual routine and tag some new people.

1.VMJ: New to the blogging scene but one of the best bloggers I have come across lately. Though he hasn’t written much, there is something readable and thinkable in all his posts. Hope he writes more often.

2. Angel Doc: This lady is the enchantress with words and her posts puts me in deep broody thinking mode. Like I commented in one of her earlier posts, if there was an award for Ms Beautiful Writing, then this lady has my vote all the way.

3. monkinhotwater: A good writer with a sense of humor to match. A thinking blogger for sure as his latest post shows.

4. Safari Al: Very good writer and absolutely not afraid of speaking his mind. He will make you laugh and think with his posts. He blogs here nowadays!


The second part of the tag is about the "Kinds of People I Judge"


This is difficult for me to do as I rarely show interest in people I don’t short list as a friend. But then i do need to judge people to shortlist them so here goes…

1. People who judge others and then categorize them neatly with their prejudiced labels.

2. Men who do not accept the fact that their working wife was “working” in the office and expect her to work at home too.

3. Men who are ashamed of their traditional wives and refuse to bring them to office parties in front of their savvier colleagues and their wives.

4. Unprofessional colleagues who would rather bitch behind your back than sit down and sort differences face to face.

4. People who think that by going to a place of worship they have become holier than everyone even if they are perhaps the worst examples of a human being.

5. Women who cannot accept the success of their female colleagues and attribute it to various reasons other than hard work.


The third part of the tag is about "People and Things I Admire"


1. I admire people who are comfortable with their looks, status and their realities.

2. I admire people who can put aside the bitterness of their past and move on in life.

3. I admire men who are comfortable in the company of women and can treat them as fellow human beings and not as just "women".

4. I quite admire people who can leave their personal side in the home when they leave for office.

5. Women who are house proud.

The five people tagged here can take up this tag if they wish to :)

Height of creativity

Just saw an ad on a Malayalam channel. Let me recount it for you. Though I don't remember it very well as it was just a few seconds long, I will try my best to capture this gem of an ad for you.

Mother-in-law to brides parents: We do not want any dowry. Just give us XYZ mattress that would be enough!

Next scene: New bride and bridegroom are sitting on either end of the bed caressing the mattress as though hypnotized by its mesmerizing aura. The expressions on their dumb faces says "Duh!".

A peppy voice in the background urges the audience to buy XYZ mattress for a happy start to their married lives.

I had to run to the loo to throw up my dinner and some innards too due to the violent retching that followed . I CANT believe this ad exists. I think I have died and gone to hell.

( p.s do check out this hilarious matrimonial profile!)

Its a mans world

"Why are women stupid?" Asks Angel Doc in her latest post. She thinks it is because a woman has more emotional needs. And one can play with this need to exploit her without much effort.

I think so too.

A woman is considered stupid if she behaves like a woman. At least at the workplace. The reason, it is not professional to do things like burst into tears. But bursting into tears is a perfectly normal thing to do. The word professional denotes “being like a man.” In fact a woman is considered stupid if she doesn’t realise early enough that it is a man's world out there and feminine emotions have no place here...except perhaps at home.

Compared to man a woman is definitely more emotional. She is wired that way. Nature wired her that way. This was because Nature intended her to be a child bearer and nurturer. I know a lot of people especially women will take affront at this statement. They would say that a woman is more than that….she is a career woman and other things besides being a mother and wife. I agree. A woman can do all the things a man can do. But that is not my point here. What I am trying to say is that why should a woman prove herself capable of men’s jobs to command respect? Why cant she be respected for being a woman and doing a womans job?

From hunter gatherer, man made rapid changes. He evolved into a corporate being. The woman on the other hand still stuck to her role as home maker. She never kept pace with the giant leap that the human male made from a primitive hunter gatherer to corporate honcho leaving the human female very disoriented in an increasingly male oriented world.

This rapid change led to enormous suffering for women till laws were framed to help them cope with the changes in the society and environment by right thinking ‘men’.

Soon women started wising up. They realized that to be successful career women they would have to behave like men and cast aside their feminity when they entered the portals of the workplace. They worked like men, thought like them and fought corporate battles, won hostile takeovers and showed the world that they could do it! But how long will the woman have to conform to a man's world to show they have arrived? When will workplaces get feminine?
We have offices and building that are handicapped accessible. But how many buildings are "women friendly"? Except for the toilets every other space is manly. Nowadays companies like mine place a rose on every desk to add a feminine touch or perhaps it is their way of saying that the visual appeal of the flower should make me more productive!!

I got a forward that showed a world ruled by women in a rather cute way. I am sure guys guffawed at the ppt and the women would have thought it cute. But it got me thinking. Why can’t we have a mouse cum eye make up kit? Toilet roles in different colors and shades? Parking slots painted bright colors and other obvious feminine touches to drab everyday life. These are of course exaggerations but I think the world needs a feminine touch to balance the way our lives are moving.

Equality of sexes is bullshit. A woman can never measure up to a man or vice versa. Equality of sexes can only happen when men and women are treated as different genders and not as a unisex whole.

I know there people who will argue that the male way of working is more productive. But what if female had a say in the scheme of things? I am sure our work life wouldn’t be stressful like it is today and we would be much happier and more humane human beings.

"For all you men out there who marvel at professionally successful women please remember the ones amongst us that best adjusts to the male world are termed successful. The rest are condemned as failures because we couldn’t rise above our feminity"

Modern Devdases

I have known A and B since high school. A fell in love with B sometime in the 11th Standard. B considered A a friend. Despite his best efforts B could not reciprocate his love. Because B always considered A her friend. A was a little sad at the outcome. But he had no one to blame. B had never led him on or given any indication of any romantic interest in him.

A has a blog too. Time and again I have seen posts about a certain "her". He writes about missing her. The way she smiled or frowned. Time and again on Google chat I get "I miss her sooo much" kinda messages.

A is not alone. I have several male friends, colleague and acquaintances like him. People who make a big hue and cry about their lost love, people who seem to love to wallow in self-pity and use even a casual romantic interest to become a modern devdas.

I have never understood this attitude of some guys. They seem to enjoy making a mountain out of a molehill of love. And all these cases, at least the ones I know were not love in the strictest sense. But these guys love to revel in the nostalgia of lovers who were parted a la Hindi movies.

I recently saw a guy friend’s Flickr album. He had been through a brief period of dating this gal. By brief I mean about a couple of dates. They never dated after that. Today I beheld his album in horror and amusement. There were pictures of him in many poses. Under each photo were various captions like "I am an island. An Island cannot be hurt" and "I have hurt enough. No one can hurt me anymore" and "Thinking of her" etc. This was a friendship which happened right in front of my eyes and I know how casual a coffee date that was.

In all the above instances, the guys seem enjoy their Devdas status and nurture it to supreme ecstatic pain. However they seem to miraculously forget their old love the moment another gal showed an interest in them :p

I just cannot understand guys like these. Girls on the other hand will clam up if they were hurt in love or cry. But only if it was a serious relationship.

The above attitude of some guys though amusing can be exasperating for friends like me who invariably have to sit and listen to his sighs and reminiscences. Of course it is no point drilling sense into him. He doesn’t want to "get over her" because then what will he groan and moan about?!

“Unrequited love” seems to be a fashion statement with some guys these days.

Hogi barthene*

Mr and Mrs Rao were my neighbors. They were a happy couple, simple and friendly. They had two sons, both working in India. Soon their eldest son took up a job in the US and left taking his family with him. The second son too followed. Mr and Mrs Rao though alone lived a full life, going to the temple and the various Brahmin prayer meetings, get together etc. Soon age started taking its toll and both of them were hospitalized at various times for various ailments.

Their eldest son came down and took them to live with him. Though the couple was happy, they missed India and the land of their birth, Mysore . Soon Aunty learnt to email and my mom and the other ladies in the neighborhood got regular emails from Mrs Rao, regaling us with tales of two bumbling old Indians and their misadventures in the US. Aunty had an earthy sense of humor and an ever-present smile under her diamond nose studs, while uncle was a kind and humble man. Maybe I am shrouding them with an aura of saintliness, but my memories of them are very warm.

They came down soon after for a wedding and a break from the US winter. The wedding, meeting relations and the spirituality of the place tugged at their heartstrings and they decided not to go back.

But life was a struggle alone, as their siblings were old too and they soon faced the prospect of going back to the US. Their search for an old age home in Bangalore was futile and soon they were winging their way back to the US. Uncle fell sick and died in the US. The family came down to India for the burial. Aunty was inconsolable and died two months after Uncles death. Fortunately for her she met her end in Mysore, her hometown. The town where she as a little girl helped her grandfather with the temple rituals and met and fell in love with Uncle during a Dassara music recital.

Aunty died two months ago. When I look at their now empty house and the tulsi plant in the courtyard I feel an awful emptiness. This place bustled with energy and activity a few years back. I had grown up watching her perform pooja in front of the tulsi plant from my balcony. The waft of the agarbaththi spreading gently in the wind mingling with the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans that she would have ground and put in the percolator before doing the morning pooja. I will give my right arm for another steel tumbler of that heavenly coffee she used to make many years ago. She taught me how to drink without touching the tumbler to my lips, the Brahmin way. I learnt a lot of Brahmin rituals and traditions from her as she loved puttering around the garden with me.

After pooja she would always look up to smile at the little girl on the balcony who watched her intently almost hypnotized by the ritual. She would wave or sometimes cheekily blow a kiss blushing at the act and giggling. I don’t think I ever missed a single pooja except on weekends when I slept late. She looked radiant in her silk saree that seems to be a daily wear for Brahmin ladies in Karnataka. Her hair would be adorned with fresh jasmine and her silver anklets tinkled as she went around the tulsi plant. For a Christian kid like me this was an engrossing sight.

I remember the various Dasara’s we celebrated together and the amazing sweets aunty made. I remember Uncle pleading with us kids to keep quite as their sons were in final year Engineering College and needed some peace and quite to finish their studies. I remember aunty scolding Uncle for telling us to keep quite and then telling us indulgently to make as much noise as we can and uncles mock exasperation at her lenience with us, the noisy neighborhood brats. I remember the hot obattu that would land up at home whenever she prepared some at home. Tea time was synonymous with aunty’s obattu. So many good memories….

I took so much for granted. So many people for granted. But people around me are aging. Soon they will be gone. But Mrs Rao’s death has taught me something. That time is so precious, especially with your loved ones.

Rest in peace Mrs Rao. Dassara and Mysore and the neighborhood will never be the same without you.

*goodbye

Hope lies beyond the border...

My mail box is flooded. Seems like it is placement time in Kerala colleges. Words like Tata Motors, Accenture, Infosys, Maruti is floating around my Inbox like happy confetti. These are joyful mails from my cousins announcing their placements.

In this happy cacophony there is one sad note...of a cousin sister who is placed at a leading IT company in Trivandrum Technopark. When my mother called her to congratulate, she burst into tears. She is the only one in my family who has been placed in Kerala. The rest are all leaving to Mumbai, Bangalore, Gurgaon, Pune etc.

This year itself there are nearly 12 students from my family alone who are leaving Kerala. So you can imagine the volume of freshers leaving Kerala this year. These people have counted the days to finish their college and leave. They love their State, town, language just like you and me. But as educated thinking adults they can sense that the present "political culture" will not change for a long time and they are in no mood to be willing victims of a system when they have a way out. They are fed up of the closed mentality and the humiliations and helplessness of belonging to the silent majority while the powerful minority of goons rules the roost and the throne. Escape is the only way.

Soon they will join the "reminiscence" crowd that misses the carefree days of college, life in Kerala and naadan cuisine from the safety of Mumbai, Bangalore, Delhi etc. And the cycle will repeat itself every year.

Best of luck to you all !!! Do well in your professional and personal lives. I hope and I pray that when you guys are ready to hang up the boots, Kerala would have changed and you will be making a beeline to your true home and hearth that God willing would have earned the sobriquet "God's Own Country".

Sour gripes

On my desk lies a variety of colorful stuff, or at least it used to till some time back. I have a jar of Jelly Sweets, toffees, candies, Jeera Sweets, a colorful container full of pens, pencils, erasers, whiteboard markers etc. Besides the sheer color, it adds a welcoming touch to my desk. These things are specifically kept on my desk so that anyone can help themselves to it.

Now my desk is barren.

The reason? People in my office just "love" the knick knacks on my table and love to drop by for a sweet. They think I am "so sweet" to be doing this. Some even develop an addiction for Jelly Sweets and go ‘Cold Turkey’ if they do not have one every hour. They keep talking of buying the same for their desk but apparently cannot because they are 'dieting'!!

They "must" have some Jeera sweet after lunch. It becomes a habit and after lunch droves of people land up opening the jars and generally hanging around eating the same and chatting. Sometimes I think I should just vacate my chair so that people can sit down comfortably and eat and chat at my desk. These people “just love” the Jeera sweets but regretfully cannot keep some for themselves because they will keep popping it in their mouth and hence consume too many unwarranted calories.

And if even once the jar is empty I get odd looks and enquiries as to when it will be filled or patronising jibes about my laziness to go shopping.

To makes things worse it takes some time for the whole floor to know when your stocks are low and the result is that people keep dropping now and then. This means irritating questions like "what no sweets?" when it obvious the desk is empty to annoying taps on your shoulders as you are logged into a conference call, with people whispering "where is the sweets?" . The whisper is to ensure that your conference call is not disturbed!!

People stopped using their pens because my pen holder was there to make use of. Of course no one except a few bother to return it. Some will even make a small noise of irritation if they come to my desk and see the pen holder empty. And these are not even my team mates!!

Now my desk is bare. I hate it. I love the color the jars brought to my table and friends dropping by for a sweet or some toffee. But then there are people out there who think they can take your generosity for granted.

My desk is bare now but my cupboard is not. But it is firmly locked :)

Duh!

A mail I got from an unknown blogger recently.


Hi,
I am ABC. I came to your blog via Kerala Blog Roll.Add me to your blogroll. See you there, Bye.


I wrote back that the people who figure in my blogroll are people I read 'regularly' and I would definitely add his blog if I find his writings interesting. He writes back.


Ok,start reading my blog 'regularly' and add me quick.


Of course I never replied back.

The young and the helpless...

Just saw the news and was shocked to hear of a poor father who pushed his small daughter down a bridge into the river hoping it will kill her. The reason...the child suffers from a rare disease and it will take at least Rs 2 lakh to treat her. The father is a poor laborer with 5 other children. What more can be an outstanding example of the vicious circle that grips our poor and marginalized? Man is poor. He doesn’t know about contraception. Has numerous kids who are potential bread earners for the family. But if they become ill then they are potential disasters for the family.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone here. But I can feel the father’s pain and desperation here. I am not condoning what he did, but what could he do? Would anyone shell out the money to treat his kid? And even if there are organizations who do that how is a poor illiterate man to know whom to approach? He did what he could do to alleviate his child's pain. Poverty doesn’t give you too many choices.

News like this though shocking is something we read and ignore in a hurry because we ourselves are helpless. We can only feel pity or anger at the father or at the system.

The news will attract attention. Funds will pour in from kind individuals. And the child who was rescued will get good treatment. But there are many parents out there who are unable to treat their kids and have to silently watch them suffer and die. What can be more heartbreaking? Knowing that your kid could have been saved but you had no means to save him or her!?

I know it is easy to blog about this and make the right kind of noises. But right now I can feel the helplessness of the father of that little girl. What he did was horrific, but none of us can point a finger at him unless we have done our little for the welfare of the poor.

Addendum: Latest report on the little girl

Those were the days...

Another Home for the Aged Fest is around the corner. The Fest bring so many memories of joyful IT less old Bangalore.

October is the time we cut the fruit for the Christmas cake and soak it in Rum or Brandy. October is when we start our Christmas Carol practices too. October is when we have the Fest also known as Charity Bazaar at the Little Sisters of the Poor 'Home for the Aged', Hosur Road. This is the time I get up in the morning to the smell of baking and cooking as my mom starts preparing her contribution to Bazaar…the proceeds from the sales are given to the nuns to run the Oldage home. This is a unique bazaar where the entire Catholic Community of Bangalore comes together and contributes their time or various items to be sold at the various stalls. When I was in school and college we usually manned the games stalls. This is a day of family outing and fun that we look forward to every year.

There is a large population of Goans and Mangaloreans and East Indians settled here from many generations. They evolved the now famous Bangalore Culture. Soon Malayalees too started coming into Bangalore and many like us were assimilated into this community. We learnt a lot from this community. Community spirit, sharing and most importantly, religion as a way of life and not a Sunday activity restricted to Sunday Mass, getting together with family and friends on Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays or any other excuse for a drink and the uniquely traditional Sunday lunch.

In this community, boys and girls grow up together and one will never see men and women sitting separately at parties and get togethers. Drinking alcohol in this community is as natural as drinking water. And young boys grow up treating alcohol as no big deal. They learn to drink responsibly. And as get togethers are frequent, the need to imbibe alcohol just for fun is also non existent. Which is why this community drinks for pleasure and never to get drunk.

I grew up taking such a life for granted. It was later as I grew into my teens that I found the striking dissimilarity in this culture and the Kerala culture (?) on my visits to Kerala and to relations place here in Bangalore. I found the whole of concept of the ladies sitting and gossiping in one room and then men sitting and drinking in another absolutely stupid. And when these two groups did talk to each other (more as a formality), the men would talk condescendingly about the ladies shopping sprees and the ladies would joke about the men’s drinking. All very prim and propah segregated meaningless conversation and interaction.

Those days most of us lived in the Bangalore cantonment area. So getting together was easy. Carol singing was also easy. Today all those old homes have been sold to developers and most of the families have moved into the flat given to them by the developers or have moved to the suburbs. We had some great dances at the Catholic Club then, as curfew was unheard of. We went in groups for the dances and after the dance jumped the wall into St Patrick’s for the 5:30 am mass and then went home and crashed out.

We attended Sunday Mass as a group and then went for breakfast at some Darshini. Breakfast after Mass is a unique Bangalore tradition and most eateries would be filled with families having breakfast on Sundays. However I must thank IT because it provided employment and most of my friends and classmates are employed here in Bangalore.

Bangalore had a name for some of the coolest private parties… parties where people enjoyed dancing, sing song sessions and not what outsiders thought…i.e getting pissed drunk and misbehaving. Later as the IT crowd started coming into Bangalore, desperate for action, the segregating of the ‘old Bangalorean’ and ‘new Bangalorean’ started taking place. We keep our distance from the ‘new Bangaloreans’. Many of the so-called ‘new Bangaloreans’ have imbibed the spirit of old Bangalore. And I feel glad to see that. Today I have colleagues begging me for an invite to our do’s because “you guys party like no on else’. It is the greatest compliment I have ever received. They have learned to relax and enjoy the evening without getting dressed to kill and enjoy people’s company without wondering what their net worth is.

When I see, newcomers calling themselves ‘Bangaloreans’ I can only sneer. These guys don’t even know what being a Bangalorean all is about.

But I still miss my old Bangalore :(

If I could stop time...

A year older, a year wiser I hope. Happy birthday to me!

I am in an overly senti mood today :p Partly due to overwork and sheer tiredness and mostly due to coming home after a week and realising how much I missed home and my family. So people who dont like senti better close your IE/Firefox and run for your life cos today I wanna acknowledge some people in my life who keep me going. These people are the bulwark of my life.

First and foremost two wonderful people, my amma and achchan who bought me into this world because they 'wanted' me.

Mitu: My best friend, who is always there though she is so far away now.

Sunitha: Just your presence in my life is enough blessings for me.

M: Dumbo, you are the greatest.

S: Younger bro of M, for being the sweet brat you are with the wisdom of a 100 year old.

SP who inspired/goaded/nagged me to blog. I am so thankful you came into my life when you did.

Trish, for being a sis I never thought I would have.

Chanel, for your down to earth attitude. Girl you are my reality check!!!

Jisha, my sis from another mother.

Chithra, for your undying faith in me.

Pavithra: My clone.

JK for being there always. Sometimes I think I dont deserve a friend like you.

Chacko: Dude u rock!!!

Seb: My cousin bro....for driving sense into me when I needed it most last year. For making me realise who I am, where I come from and my legacy.The guy who is responsible for My Think Pad. When I look at you I realise how the "K" family will always be there for each other. I remember the days we the cousin brigade slept in the same room, telling ghost stories late into the night and the fun we had as kids. I owe you a lot of good memories!

My bro M, for always being there. For tolerating my overdependence on him, from a tyre puncture to a drop at the mall to picking me up from work and driving me all over town looking for that 'Nursery' that sells that 'exotic plant' I 'think' I read about somewhere. Somehow, in his scheme of things this brat was always a 'somebody' never a 'nobody'.

My eldest bro G for his unabashed adulation for every crap I write.

My wonderful large family back in Kerala, for their fierce loyalty and undying love. I find my identity in you guys.

My blogpals for your lovely posts and thoughts that are my mainstay during tough days. Keep blogging I rather read your posts than anything else. In fact nowadays I prefer the down to earth writings of bloggers to the "commercial writings" that journalism seem to have become.

JP, a friendship I will always cherish.

And 'Vagamon'. Naah this is not a hot dude, but a place where I find so much peace.

Guess I have a lot to thank for this July 6th.

p.s I am on leave for my budday. Yay!!!!!!

A tag

I have been tagged by Mathew and Alex. Rules of the tag, write 8 random things about yourself and tag 8 people. So here are some very boring facts about myself.


I don't like laptops. I prefer a PC.

I am not fond of modern poetry, cannot understand it and hate people sending me their poetry for comments. And every one one of my friends is into poetry. If I see another one I will gag arrgh!

I love to cook and cooking gives me great creative satisfaction. The more complicated the recipe the better.

I have a green thumb and my garden at home is a treasure trove of exotic plants. Each plant is my baby and every morning, come rain or shine I check on them.

I never drink alcohol at parties though I love my White Wine and Rum and Cola. But I prefer to drink at home with my family or friends.

I like long drives with music.

I am a good singer but stopped singing after people started forcing me to sing at every family gathering in front of people. I hate it even now when I see kids being forced to sing or recite poetry in front of guests. But when I am alone I do sing.I hum constantly.

I can read, write and speak in Malayalam. At home we speak Malayalam only according to parental diktat.

I am not tagging anyone as my last tag had some disastrous consequences and the women of Kochi are right now burning my effigy :(

:p

Right now I am listening to this awesome song !!

The girl-child-wife

On Sunday, a junior of mine from college Ritu, gets married. She is barely 21. While I am happy for her, I do feel sad that she would never get an opportunity to grow as an individual. She like many girls who have got married at her age, will never get to enjoy the freedom of being a single working woman. It is only when a girl starts working and become independent that her real personality emerges. The work atmosphere, responsibility and people who treat you like an adult unlike college and home, liberates the real you that is subdued and pruned by a sheltered upbringing an Indian girl undergoes.

Since I have been working for a couple of years now, I can see the changes in me. What I thought was bad feels good today, what I thought was good doesn’t feel so good anymore. What I thought was cool feels uncool today and a lot of other changes in the way I look at life and deal with people. If I had got married soon after college I would never have discovered the real me or completed my growth process.

Ritu’s parents like most Indian parents are worried that a girl if left unmarried too long will become too independent and will hence be unsuitable for marriage. And I suspect this is the reason she is being married off so early. A girl with individuality will not be a subservient wife which portends bad tidings for the marriage. Every effort is made so that the girl does not get to taste freedom and that she is transferred from the guardianship of her parents to the safekeeping of the husband. There is also the fear that the girl may not want to marry after being independent for some time.

While it was imperative for girls to marry a few years back due to the security blanket it provided, nowadays it is totally unnecessary to push a girl into marriage; especially since she will anyway grow as an individual and may soon find that her husband and she think in different directions. By getting a girl married early, parents are only increasing the risk of divorce as ‘divorce’ is not a dirty word anymore.

Indian guys on the other hand don’t face this problem and more or less retain their individuality while growing up while girls are taught to conform and willy nilly bought up in a "certain way". It is all about conforming, personal happiness be damned. When will parents learn? After the society is strewn with the carcasses of marriages? Why do we learn lessons the hard way? Why don’t we change with the times?

I wish Ritu a happy married life. She will need my wishes and a lot more in the coming years.

The truth is out there... Google for it idiot!!

One of the most lucrative professions of the future will be teaching people the knack of getting the right " search keywords". If you can master Google search "keywords" you can make millions teaching those who run from pillar to blog post searching for things from Paris Hilton underwear to Brad Pit sperm.Dont believe me? Just take a look at the "keywords" that bought some people to my blog today. Please do consider taking this up as a profession and you may just bring eternal rest to the bhatakthi aatmas of the cyber world.

Good ole days of English

My little cousin sister from Ernakulam called up today morning. She was all excited. Her doggies, a Daschund and a Lhasa Apso had given her a puppy. Though she was disappointed that there was only one puppy she was nevertheles happy that she got a brand new puppy to play with.

Minu: Chechi my puppy is sooooo cute!
Me: You are such a lucky girl!!! How does it look like?
Minu: It looks like a loooooong Lhasa Apso
Me: Great! And what have you named it?
Minu: Dick!!!!
Me: What??? err...I mean how nice heh heh

How I envy her! I miss the days when a 'cock' was a rooster and a 'screw' was a hardware item and 'hardware' was...guess you know what I am talking about. Enjoy the freedom while it lasts dear Minukutty!

Life is like that!

He: You bring out the best in me!
She: Anything for ya buddy!
He: But I think there is a lot of scope for improvement in me!
She: Really? And what do you plan to do about it?
He: How about Coffee this Friday? *grin*
She: Naaah!! You are just perfect!

:p

Games people play!

If there is one single thing in my life that I most cordially hate, then it is people trying to fix me up. Yeah I mean matchmaking. How much ever people justify it, matchmaking is not right. It sort of takes away your right to make your own decisions and choices. I have been a victim so many times that I have lost count.

It is not flattering to be calculatingly nudged towards a guy especially if you have some grey matter in between your ears and can judge for yourself if you like the guy and would like to be introduced.

I have never indulged in match making myself because I think it is interference in a person’s personal life. I have faced situations where a guy who fancies a gal in my friends circle has requested for an intro. If I know the guy fairly well and am convinced of his sincerity then I do tell the girl of his interest. Never more than that. Then it is upto the girl to take it further or reject him. And if the girl was not interested then no power on this earth will make me try and convince her otherwise even if God himself tells me to!!!

The most irritating thing about some guys is that they go overboard when trying to match make a friend with a gal. When a girl shows disinterest they take it upon themselves to somehow convince the girl to the contrary. This includes subtle hints to the good character of the guy and pointed references to his undying interest in her etc. I have seen some disastrous relationships take birth due to this. All because some people did not want to respect a person’s right to make a choice and say “no”. I must at this juncture admit that there are girls who cave into such pressure and that some match made relationships do blossom too. But then it still does not justify the aggressive matchmaking described above.

I just wish people who match make realise that there should be interest in both parties before they start aiding and abetting the couple. I wish they realise that they are responsible for the consequences of their action. Having just been through the matchmaking tactics of some people let me tell you it doesn’t feel nice to be hounded like an animal. Yeah that is what it feels like.

( p.s I am in scorching Delhi now. Any place place worth visiting where I will not be roasted alive?)

End of an era

Long time ago, my Dad opened my very own bank account at a small branch of a centralised bank near my house. The bank catered to the small village like township where I live, on the outskirts of Bangalore. My first deposits were money given on birthdays, my First Holy Communion, Confirmation, pocket money savings etc. I felt so proud the day I opened my account.

When I started working in ad agencies during weekend, my bank account started taking on a respectable look. The first time it touched 10 K I nearly swooned. I felt rich!!!! ( of course it took a year to save that) I was walking on air and showed by passbook to everyone and sundry.

Times have passed. Now I bank with a MNC Bank as my salary gets credited directly into my account. My bank pays my phone bills, insurance premium, credit cards bills automatically. I make direct money transfers instead of writing cheques and always getting my signature wrong (:p)

Today I went to my old bank to close my account. It’s been years since I stepped in here. The squalor of the place hit me first, then the crowd and then the noise. Most of the old staff had taken VRS and left. Strange faces looked at me bored.

I told the lady behind the counter that I wanted to close my account. She looked at me accusingly and I felt that old familiar feeling when I had gone to close my BSNL account...guilt. The staff at BSNL made me feel like a Capitalist that had endangered their jobs. The eyes looked at me accusingly and then she told me to give a letter requesting the Bank Manager to close the account. I had already taken the letter. She looked disappointed. She then told me to get it endorsed by the Bank Manager.

The Manager looked at me up and down like a school Principal and wanted to know why I wished to close the account. I told her that I already had another account and did not wish to keep this one. She checked my account and turned around and said that there was quite a decent sum in my account and I should make it a fixed deposit. I told her politely that I had already made investments for this year and would she please close my account. "I am against closing an account " she said as though it was her discretion to close my account or not. I felt like a student back in the Principals office as I stood next to her desk. She finally approved the closure in the PC on her desk and returned the letter to me.

I was back to the lady who now asked me if I had a cheque book. I replied in the affirmative. Seizing the chance, she immediately returned the letter to me asking me to come back with the cheque book. Pushing the letter back I told her evenly that the cheque book had no leaves left. She looked disappointed and irritated. She checked my account in her system and barked " There is too much money in here. I cant give you cash, It will have to be a DD. It will take time. Please wait!!!"
I told her I will be back as I stayed close by. The smug expression vanished as she realised that she would not get the satisfaction of seeing me sit and wait. Then a brainwave struck her. "Do you have a Credit Card?" she asked. I replied in the affirmative. "Well you will have to come with your credit and a letter stating that you are cancelling the same and then we will close the account. Please come on Monday" she said dismissively. I took out the Credit Card from my wallet and handed it over to her. She hid her disappointment well. She pointed to a man on the table next to her and asked me to surrender the card to him with a letter.

I walked upto the credit card cancelling man and handed over my Credit Card. Before he could say anything I asked him for a piece of paper. He gave me a computer printout sheet. I asked him for a pen. He looked at his pen and said that he cannot give me the pen so I can go home, write the letter and come back. I turned around and asked the man sitting on the table behind me if he could lend me a pen. He gave me one while credit card cancelling man looked at him daggers. I wrote a letter cancelling my Credit Card and gave it to Mr Credit Card Cancelling Man. If looks could kill then my last post would have been my last post. Mr Credit Card Cancelling Man picks up the phone and calls the Head Credit Card Cancelling Man and gets the disappointing news that I had no dues. He grumbles and cancels my card on the system.

I was back with the lady now who had by now lost the will to fight. She tells me that I could withdraw any amount of money I wanted. I clean out my account and walk out of the bank with a sigh of relief. I am glad I will never have to come in here again and feel like a third class citizen!

As I walk out I can hear the manager’s voice in my head "Why do you want to close your account?" If she doesn’t know why, then it is no point telling her is it?

About turn...

He: Hello is this 123456789?
She: Yes
He: Hi, I am XYZ.
She: Oh!
He: Listen! I don't know how to tell you this but I am not ready for marriage yet.
She : *whew* me tooooo!
He: I am just 26!
She: And I am still younger!
He: My aunt sort of promised your aunt that she will make me meet you.
She: I know!
He: So what do we do?
She: I have no idea.
He: Well let’s honour their promise and meet up for a couple of minutes. We can then go back and tell our respective aunts that we met and that we didn’t like each other.
She: Great! When do I meet you?
He: Would 6 pm be alright?
She: Perfect!

Next day

He: Hi
She: Hi! I told my aunt that I didn’t like you *smile*
He: Oh!
She: My aunt will never do this anymore not after the firing I gave her for setting me up like this.
He: Ok! hmm well can I meet you today?
She: I don’t think so. But why?
He: Well....I am doing a rethink on this whole marriage issue...
She: I wish you best of luck then. Bye
He: Wait...!!!!
She: *slams the phone down*

Massacre of the senses

I am so so fed up of watching celebrities and cricketers in ads. This celebrity exposure overdose has successfully reduced my already pathetic TV viewing time to zero. Maybe there is an audience out there for this celebrity endorsements, but I am totally fed up. You pick up a magazine or a newspaper and even here you have some celebrity grinning or looking gravely at you. Does anybody in the ad agencies and product marketing teams know that most of us are fed up of this celebrity overdose?

I personally find ads with regular models more palatable.

I was recently watching the Malayalam DD channel. The hostess was a regular girl with DD's trademark make up. But it struck me then that she looked startlingly refreshing to my TV weary eyes. The DD people are so real compared to the plastic dolls in the private channels! I get a severe case of gaudy toxic syndrome after watching Channels like Zoom and Zee for more than five minutes. There is more designer clothes, make up, pedicure, manicure, furnishings and light in a single program second than in an hour of a DD program.

I am not suggesting that private TV channels should go the DD way. But I personally am finding it increasingly difficult to watch the over made up sets and backdrops and stars of these channels day in and day out. It is like an assault on your senses.

Compared to these channels, Star World is refreshing to the eye. Its pastel shades and non intrusive backdrops a treat to behold. On the other hand the sets of a private Indian channel looks like a furniture, furnishing, electronics cum designer wear showroom!!!

The news channels are comparatively okay except for CNN IBN and Times.

Sometimes I watch a bit of Malayalam serials when a visiting relation from Kerala puts it on. The overkill here is in terms of negative emotions. Revenge, anger, hate and lots and lots of tears. Everyone is planning revenge on the other. Everyone seem to hate everyone and plotting against other! The strident background music is a strain on your nerves and soon you feel a little jumpy and irritable after watching these serials for some time. But I also realise why all this is so addictive. It would be very difficult not to watch the next serial when a possible outcome of a plot is left hanging in the air. Luckily Malayalam serials are not big budget, saving us the clothes and make up overkill.

A hilarious scene from a Hindi serial I saw long time back. A heavily over made up and over clothed actress telling another heavily over made up and over clothed actress that she will "change into better clothes" to go out with her. My jaws dropped as I wondered what she would do to make her appearance better. There was nothing more that a makeup man or clothier could do to enhance her appearance!

Perhaps this is the infancy of Indian TV channels and in the long run, tasteful sets and soberly dressed anchors will give our eyes a break. Till then I stick to Star World and DD.

The King of goodtimes in the sky!

Last month I spent a lot of time with Kingfisher Airlines. Now my room looks like a Kingfisher brand zone with KF pouches and umpteen KF headphones and KF pens. In fact red is the dominant color of the room now .

KF rules the roost in service, decor, ambience and popularity. The queues at the KH check in counters are long while other airlines sport deserted look. Since my office Travel Desk has a tie up with KF most of us fly KF except those who are on Jets miles privilege scheme. These people curse for being stuck with Jet. Not that Jet is bad but KF is better :)

Some observations on KF:

KF is perhaps the most potential candidate for a hijacking in the near future, if the terrorists who took a heavy beating to their morale by the quick turnaround of the Mumbaikars after the Mumbai blasts, ever think of trying to rattle us Indians again.

At Trivandrum last month, the last flight out had just one guy scanning baggage and then stamping the scanned baggage, That is over 200 pieces of baggage being scanned by one person! He was of course not too thorough due to the abnormally long queue that formed due to this. But the KF staffs (KFS) is polite and in the not so remote chance of you being hijacked, they will mind their p's and q's when they inform your near and dear ones of the unfortunate accident.

KFS: Mr P, It is with great regret that we inform your Sir, that your beloved daughter was travelling on ill fated flight number IT 7000 that was hijacked to Bihar.
Dad: $%^&%@
KFS: Our sentiments exactly Sir which protocol prevents us from verbalising. Thank you!

The food they serve is superb. Just the right quantity with a lot of thought going into the menu. The famed KF Air Hostess was just pre launch propaganda. The KF girls are mostly short and ordinary looking but very very well trained and extremely polite and very friendly.

The Jet staffs on the other hand are cold but proactive if you ask them for anything. They work like automatons. Their dull uniform doesn’t help matter either and you feel like you are sitting in a sterilisation chamber. The KF ambiance is unbeatable due to the color "red" dominating the cabin. If only they would remove the terrible “Great Indian comedy show" from their in flight entertainment, the flight would be just perfect.

The announcements by the pilots are informal, freindly and with a personal touch... a joke or two, apologies if there is a delay due to traffic congestion, promises of making up the delay and an informal introduction of the crew. The announcement is conversational and KF manages what other airlines cannot i.e. make the passenger "feel at home".

Well I had good times with the King of Good Times. And that is saying a lot since I fly with them regularly and they are yet to disappoint me. Kudos to whoever thought of and designed the entire Kingfisher experience.

The sister act

When a baby girl is born to Indian parents her parents have great dreams for her. They dream of her going to a convent school and then to a convent run college and then getting herself a husband due to her "convent educated" status. In fact the craze for convents is so much that we now have anyone and anybody opening "convent schools". I think Mr Rupinder Singh who runs the St Jesus Convent School and Ramesh Kedia who runs St God Convent School are visionaries. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they have branches called St Convent School , St Sister, St Church and St Cemetry. Anything that sounds remotely Christian is prefixed with the "St" and used as a name for these schools. Recently a school called St Anthony's was in the news for physically punishing a child. Turns out the owners were an ordinary couple who also had a flower nursery.

When people run out of names they become innovative and we have St Lilly, St Rose and St Lotus to name a few. Some people go for an authentic touch and we get schools like St Meera and St Radha. Well they were saints weren’t they? The word ‘saint’ in any other language would still be a saint!

Among the upmarket schools we have names like Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard and even Ivy League. I heard there is a school called IIT!!!

With education becoming a lucrative business with millions to be made, schools are mushrooming everywhere. The St God School was a two room tenement. Today it had classes from Nursery to 10th in a span of just 5 years! The owner incidentally is uneducated. That in my humble non MBA opinion is the best example of business acumen!

The other category of schools is the Kindergarten variety. The owners of these schools are more sober though some do go a little overboard with names like 'Little Angels' (guffaw) and 'Dolls'(double guffaw). Excuse the loud unlady like laughter but I was a KG kid too some time back and neither was I an angel nor a doll. Neither were my classmates. We were more like mud encrusted devils with bald patches of scalp from where many an enraged classmate had pulled our hair out. There was more hair flying in our class that in a fur factory. (I dared to grow my hair only after reaching high school!)

Most of these schools are garages or asbestos sheet covered tenements. But the full classrooms do give you hope that education is finally being regarded as an asset by people who rarely sent their kids to school once. On the flip side if this unbridled growth continues then education will become just another commodity, but like a commodity, competition may just keep prices in check.

Appy Fizz Radio Jingle

I fell in love with this hilarious radio jingle when I heard it for the first time. It still brings a smile and a chuckle when I hear it. Wait for the video to load and Enjoy! :D

Instant news!!!

I saw something on CNN IBN ( streaming content) the other day that made my jaws drop.

The program: CNN IBN special program

Title: Cricket's dark side

Presenters:Bhupender Chaube, Bob Kalra and a Geo TV rep live from Pakistan.

Bhupender Chaube to Geo TV rep in Pakistan: Your chanel has allegede foul play in Bob Woolmers death.

Geo TV Rep: We haven't alleged anything, but Inzamam ul Haq gave Bob a lot of trouble by not reporting for net practise.

Bhupender Chaube: This is a serious allegation. You are saying that Inzamam was the casue of Bob's death.

Geo TV Rep: I did not say that. I said he gave Bob the maximum amount of trouble.

Bhupender Chaube (shouting):How?!

Geo TV Rep( looks like he wants to slap Bhupender): He stressed out Bob by his disobedience and failing to report for net practise.


Bhupender Chaube: Thank you for coming on the show.(turning to the camera) As you can all see the Geo TV rep has made a serious allegation that Inzamam ul Haq and the Pakistani team stressed Bob to his death!

Bhupender Chaube kept screaming CNN IBN style and was desperately trying to sensationalise the issue,a trademark strategy of CNN IBN! News presenters from CNN IBN can be seen visibly excited when a news breaks and every effort is made during news hour to sensationalise the same. Background music adds to the melodrama.

How does this reflect on CNN I wonder. Or does CNN have no hold over the instantaneous content creation, sensationalisation and delivery of its Indian subsidiary?

( p.s will post the link to this video if I can get hold of the same. This program appeared around March 23rd)

Uncomplicate your life

Four Questions from God!

Amazing!

Caught between two worlds

My very good friends in school were the Anglo Indian twins Audrey and Mel. Audrey and Mel left for Australia like the many Anglo Indians who left the Indian shores in search of a better life amidst "their own people". Their father a lathe worker soon got a job, and so did their mom. They finished their schooling and are now working in Australia.

A few years back Audrey and Mel's mom Sheila and elder married sister Rita came down to India to visit relations, make a pilgrimage to Vailankanni and spend a day with us. They come down every year and always make it a point spend a day with us. My mom and Sheila were and are good friends having called each other up numerous times to check on our homework, school notes and the innumerable school concerts and plays where they helped with the costumes and music. Sheila is an accomplished Pianist, my mom is an accomplished seamstress. Between the two of them they did manage to make some lovely music and clothes for our school plays and concerts.

During Sheila's regular visits, we realised how lonely she was in Australia. Her annual trips to India was what kept her going insane from loneliness. Her elder daughter who did her schooling and college from Bangalore also tells a tale of loneliness amidst plenty. She tell us of her neighbours of 12 years whom she hasn't seen till date and many other tales. Mel and Audrey miss Bangalore like hell but are yet to make the kind of money to visit India.

My aunt who had migrated with her family to New Zealand too faces the same situation. In her case she did the wise thing of not accepting New Zealand citizenship and hence can come down to India for longer periods as her kids are grown up. She stays with us mostly and from her we hear of the good future her kids have in NZ and how reluctantly they return to New Zealand after every holiday in Kerala. Her children spend all their holidays in India unlike their peers who go abroad for holidays.

The story repeats itself with many people that I know have migrated to Australia and New Zealand. They are happy, they have the best life has to offer yet they go back with tears in their eyes and a lump in their throat and after every visit to India start saving with a vengeance for that next trip to India.

Fears and phobias

Recently I realised that I harbor some really irrational fears. Most of these fears are due to real life incidences that have happened to others. Some of the things that make me worry unnecessarily are:

1. While driving under a flyover I feel that a bus or a truck will fall on my head :p

2. I always carry a duffle bag with my laptop inside while driving my Kinetic. Every now and then I must check the bag strung on my back to ensure that my lappie is inside. I am sure one day I might leave the zipper of the bag open and my lappie will fall down or someone will steal it from the bag at a red light or traffic jam.

3. I am very scared of geysers left too long to heat. I feel it will burst and spill hot water all over me.

4. I am scared of gas cylinders. I feel one will burst, chumma just like that when I am around.

5. My greatest fear is my lappie crashing and hence I do data back up once a week. I have a pile of CD's with data backed up. In fact it was this fear that made my last boss and this boss issue me with a PC too. But I still back up my files on a CD :p

6. Due to some horrible coincidence I almost always end up flying in an ATR aircraft. I am damn sure that one day those giant fans will come loose and make a neat pile of 'sliced silverine'.

7. While reversing the car I am so sure that one day I might run over a small child. So I double and triple check to see if there is no one behind before I reverse.

8. I am scared of construction sites and walk as far away as I can from them because I feel that something will come crashing on my head.

9. While walking my doggies I make sure that they walk to my left. I am afraid that a vehicle will go over them since they so small.

10. I drive both my brothers crazy if they are out late (and vice versa). I just cannot sleep properly till I know that all members of the family are all under one roof safe and sound. SMS'ing me just does not help.

11. I am damn sure that one day I will forget the password of my blog :p I can remember what I wore for my 4th birthday but I cannot remember passwords. To counter this when I change my password I immediately store it in my PDA.

12. Another great fear, now fast subsiding is someone hacking my blog and taking it away or worse putting objectionable content in it.

Now someone please tell me their irrational fears so that I know that I am not the only one.

The new use and throw culture

I have just got back from a three day vacation at a resort near Trivandrum! I didn’t have the time to go into the city but the ride from the airport to Poovar, was an eye opener of sorts! Fields and ponds filled with plastic and refuse. Plastics and garbage was dumped everywhere especially on empty plots of land. Trivandrum airport is perhaps the cleanest AAI airport in India. It just goes to show that our cities and our airports are a reflection of the inhabitants that dwell in that area.

The resort was situated in the backwaters and we had to take a 15 minutes boat ride to the resort. The boat wound its way through coconut plantations cutting through the slimy green waters afloat with garbage. The gently flowing backwaters were bespeckled with hawaii slippers, used clothes, paper cups and plates and general refuse. As the boat chugged its way to the resort we could do nothing but sit in stunned silence at the sight before us.

At the resort jetty we were greeted by girls in traditional Kerala attire who garlanded us amidst the din of the chenda played by two energetic guys in traditional clothes. The beat was too foot tappingly bollywoodesque.

Tourism is here to stay in Kerala and the resort had the mandatory Yoga enclosure, Ayurveda House etc to give the foreigners that authentic Kerala experience. In the evening a barbecue was arranged for the guests and the next day morning I saw the Styrofoam plates afloat in the backwater surrounding the resort. Mineral water bottles, tetra packs and other garbage lined the waters edge. The resort was a clean and green oasis in a desert of refuse. It was a little too much for me. I remembered a Kerala, that not so long ago was hailed for its clean and neat people and civic sense.

What has happened to change this overnight? The thousands of resorts that have mushroomed up in Kerala, generate tons of plastic refuse everyday. Recycling as a culture does not seem to exist. I asked a hotel staff what they did with the mineral water bottles as she said that they are thrown away!!

As countries like the US grapple with the problem of garbage disposal and have ship loads of plastic bottles plying the sea for years looking for a port to dump their load, what is going to happen to India with a larger population and no culture of recycling? How long is the land and the environment going to take the abuse? Unless the government steps in and educates the public about garbage segregation and disposal, the Kerala we once knew is doomed to become a giant garbage dump.

Quantity or quality?

There is this really nice Airtel ad that is playing on radio these days. The ad talks about the life of an average Indian who has to wait in the que for everything, whether it is at the Ration Shop or Bus stop , public water taps etc. The ad ends by declaring that with Airtel you don’t need to wait in a que when dialling KBC!

I haven’t heard a more striking ad than this one, because it made me pause and think about our population like no other ad/campaign has done till now. And if this approach was taken for population control campaigns, I am sure the common man on the road will also pause and think. There is no better way you can drive home the fact that our unchecked population growth is the reason for our miseries than by pointing out the areas of discomfort that unchecked population growth creates. Just by preaching “chota parivaar sukhi parivaar” is not going to help as our people are used to and ignore the numerous, save water, save gas, kind of insipid advertisements that the government rolls out from time to time. If the government is really sincere then it has to hire people to think like the guys who made that Airtel ad. Point out to the common man how unchecked population is affecting him on a personal, more intimate level.

My maid takes a day off when she has to buy ration as the que starts forming by 4 am in the morning in front of the ration shop. She has to get up at 4am everyday to catch water as water comes for just an hour in the slum she is living in. However if you ask her why she has to go struggle for the basics amenities of life she doesn’t have a clue. She thinks that shortage is a fact of life and will not think twice about having another child. She already has four kids.

As more and more working couples are opting for just one kid, the percentage of children who will get good education compared to the number of children who will not, will be abysmally low. In the not so distant future the uneducated and or partially literate will horribly outnumber the literate productive taxpaying population. How will the FM run this nation then? Will we as a country become a cheap manual labor pool vis a vis the technical talent pool we are today?

A scary scenario indeed!