Thursday, December 14, 2006

Weekend blues

Yet another Friday approaches. A practise that I have been following from my last company was sending out “Yipee its Friday” mails. Friday morning these mails go out and all the girls respond with their version of happiness, exuberance, ecstasy etc. at the thought of the weekend. The guys look on with tolerant amusement. Most of them can’t understand what the hoo ha is all about.
Last Friday as is the practise I bought my car which means I can hang around in town without worrying about missing the office transport and the whole gang of girls can chill out for some time before heading home, PG digs, Apartments etc. As I left the office, almost skipping on my way out, a guy colleague asked me why we girls were so enthusiastic about Friday. I told him that the thought of doing nothing, or taking care of girly things like pedicure, manicure, a hair cut or washing clothes that needs careful washing etc makes us feel like a woman again. The office sort of desexes you (stop guffawing G and stop grinning Sachin R K). Besides just curling up with a book in your bed is also something to look forward to. We girls rarely get bored. My colleague seemed satisfied with my answer but remarked that most single guys found weekends boring.
I have noticed this myself. Most singles guys in my office find weekends boring though they do welcome the weekend break from work. And this is something that puzzles me. Girls always find something or the other to keep them occupied and rarely talk of being bored. But guys seem to want something more than just reading or lolling around and what is more amazing is that they have all the resources like a bike and the sheer freedom of being born a ‘male’ to do stuff that we girls cannot do.
In my last place of work I was made part of the Activity Committee since I was on grinning terms with everyone in the office and we literally got people off their backs by organising Treks and Weekend Trips to Chikmagalur etc. The activity caught on and now they have it regularly. The activity also bought guys closer and friendships formed as guys with similar interest were introduced to each other. But it took a lot of efforts from my part to do what girls would have done without an Activity Committee. And that is make friends and do things together. Guys seem to live like islands. Which perhaps is the reason they are so lonely after leaving college. They seem to take so long to make friends. I wonder why? Girls on the other hand have no qualms to who their colleagues are. As soon as we join a new company we go around introducing ourselves and soon join the others for lunch, shopping, get together and the whole thing happens so naturally. On the other hand, guys joining newly will be seen sitting alone for lunch or with team mates. Even here in this office, a sustained activity chart from the corporate communications team has helped in bringing the men together. But they exclaim that it was a lot of effort to get guys together.
I wonder why?!


Neihal said...

me too wondering...when I am a thorough girly girl who enjoys all those things you mentioned...why is it taking me forever to make new freinds...and wondering if this has something to do with growing up with half a dozen cousins and my two brothers who made up the other half of the dozen. Me wondering silverline...bigtime.
Hey as always nice post :)

~£i~ said...

Think about these terms:

Men. And the counterpart is: Women.

Gentlemen. And the counterpart is: Ladies

Boys. And the counterpart is: Girls.

Guys. And the counterpart is: ????

Sliverine ,You have used girls as the counterpart for guys whihc is nothing but blasphemy & sacrilege .The guys got a promotion from “boys” to “guys.” But the girls are still “girls.” Why is that?. Aren't Guys more mature than Boys, which unfortunately hasn't happened with girls. If Guys are more mature than boys, then isn’t unfair to compare them with all the girlish things only girls do? This is exactly the reason why guys seem to want something more than just reading or lolling around like ________ and girls do :) and for some girls it also seems as if they are living like islands. (YAAAWNNNN)

Before the entire ________ pounce on me , let me make it very clear that I’m not treating the young ladies with disrespect to call them “girls” (or worse “gals”) when I call the young men “guys”.

pophabhi said...

Wonder the same. But I am not sure whether its same for all. I've seen a lot of my friends who just catches companies pretty fast whereever they go. But I agree that many of the guys, including me, find it difficult to close in with someone whoz not really close...Brr....I have stopped making sense. I retire...Anyway, whatever you told is true.
By the by, how do you manage it? Just jump on and talk and you're done. you have a buddy! doesnt work at all for us! :)

Anonymous said...

I am surprised. We read so much about wkd lifestyle in metros.

Here, in Canada, the wkd is what guys(girls and boys) wait for throughout the wk.


redwaterstew said...

but does gender play much here ?? there are either weekend lovers or haters . there are quite a lot of guyee things too... booze, drive, games etc not considering reading, films and arts ( girly ?? ) . it is about cultivating interests outside work. boredom creeps in only when one goes straight.

iyer education said...

But they exclaim that it was a lot of effort to get guys together.
I wonder why?!

i likes this statement... but the answer to that is very simple... behind every guy there is a gal (wife, GF, Friend) who is planning similar activity for other guys (other than that guy)... and it naturally should be boring naa :P

mathew said...

weekends are real fun for guys..i always thought that way..Infact it lot depends on the circle of friends you have..

Regarding Guy-Island syndrome it is just the way our brains are wired..Have you seen how guys makes friends in a booze takes hardly few seconds to see the camaraderie building up..

And may be the conscious effort on our part to look and sound like "James Bond" la cool..But it aint last long either..:-P

Jeseem said...

oyyyeee.. bahut guy bashing karte ho :)
hey the problem is that guy stuffs are not easily accessible in bangalore. To go on a trail, you have to drive out of dusty bangalore. try that on a 2 wheeeler. and how many places in bangalore to play sports? how many tennis/badminton courts. compare that with how many girly places like malls.
luckily in US , guys still have places to go. so by sunday, u r so tired :) that u cannot walk. so the lazy stuffs like movies comes on sunday.
and making friends, yes part is true. guys don't make friends easily. Friends we make are very close friends and we spend a lot more time together with our friends. So we hav to be careful about choosing our friends.
and hey ur post reminds me of weekend. another day and I am off. weekend come fast, i am waiting

Abhishek said...

Hi Anjali,
Read your latest blog post titled 'Weekend blues'.
you are right about the fact that it takes guys a lot of effort to mix with each other.. and they need a structured environment to 'open up' to each other....

Men are quiet different from women. Observe the ladies, when they meet another of their kind, there is a sort of connect which is almost instantaneous ... it is almost they can understand each other 's thought patterns quickly...
I remember watching 'Munich' in the theater.. and there was one scene wherein some ladies were dancing and were wearing 1970's attire... it was not revealing or anything you would comment about ..(I am sorry, you would…read on read on ) , guys saw those ladies, analyzed them briefly, found them to be non attractive and prepared to concentrate on the blood shed a minute away… and then suddenly there was a ripple of female laughter which rang through the theater..
I don’t think anyone lady started it… it was instantaneous … almost as if a joke, only they could understand …
We men, sat flummoxed!

See, the men, don’t really open up that quickly…. The older the man, more time, and social exposure, he would need to open up to some one…
While, ladies wont waste a second about the intimate details about one’s life (i.e. About their boyfriend, so forth), men would maintain a discreet silence about it…. Call it the man hood… call it a self imposed decision, or alienation, but yeah, being up front about one’s self…. , can also be perceived as a weakness..(at least in front of another man)

Or may be we don’t or we cant simply make ‘happy happy small talk’ with the feminine effectiveness as the ladies do… we cant…

About the weekend blue… well, despite all the so called privileges attached to being a male….., it all comes down to a social life,,, males who live away from their homes, don’t open up… and if they don’t have a good friend or a girl friend, they are not really of the kind who would just enjoy the nature’s company….

As for me , today I found one more thing abt women… Am presently in Illinois, US, on a process consulting assignment… and my user group is all women… and while I was conducting a process optimization work shop on my laptop, while changing the files, on the data projector, they suddenly chanced upon the photo of my girl friend.. and there were suddenly all too familiar bouts of female curious screeches… ‘Who is sheee??? Who is she????’
Would a user group composed to gentlemen have done so…? No, I don’t think so…

Well, a good post as always, and may I wish you merry Christmas as well.

silverine said...

niehal: I guess some girls are a reticent lot and you could be one among them :)

Li: Whew what a commentary :)

Pophabhi: Actually we girls are good at making casual friends while guys go for long term acquaintances :)

Kajan: There isn't much to do in crowded India unless you have your friends around and since most guys move from their home to cities due to jobs they leave behind their friends and hence get lonely.

redwaterstew: Guys need to cultivate interests outside work to keep off boredom, but girls don't need to do that :)

Iyer education: You are lucky that I dont have a BF or I would have taken that as a personal affront :P

mathew: Guys who have friends do have fun :) Yeah, I have seen the booze effect on guys, it's like the AXE effect on girls :P

Jeseem: Oyyyye I have to write what I see na?! :)) I know there is so much to do on weekends abroad :)

Abhishek: That was such an astute observation of women. Guess we are social animals compared to men. You are right we have no qualms about talking intimate details with girls we have just met. :)
Merry Christmas to you too :)

Jay Sun said...

Deep down inside...a lot of men walk paths that they have been gently been put on...whether by their mother / girlfriend / on and so forth....

So, the regular single guy is actually at a loose transition from the end of one path to beginning another...

And therefore the boring weekends / living like islands...:)

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

weekend's here - now i can cook and clean and make my sambar!

Kusum Rohra said...

Cooking is real fun if strictly made a weekend activity only ;)

Me made Mutton today. Yum'n'Yum :)

Abhishek said...

Jay Sun sir,
Melancholic as it may seem, men are not all about boring weekends / living like islands..

They are not the loose ends... they are observants sentinent beings... Some of them look for their loose ends to be tied ... some would rather enjoy the destiny of a floating leaf..without any loose ends... with out a destination....

silverine said...

jaysun: tsk tsk dont blame the ladies lol :)

toothless wonder: Man be careful...publicly declaring that you can cook will make you a very wanted man with the ladies :)

Kusum: Sounds yumm! Me too cook during weekends to give my mom a break from the grumbles of the male community in my house :p

Abhishek: Wow!!! :)

Sachin R K said...

(stopped grinning, finally and putting on my Sherlock Holmes hat). Anjali eh, Abhishek. Thanks a lot buddy. Makes it much easier to track Silverine down :P And Silverine, dont forget to mention me in the credts when this word finally makes it to the Oxford dict.

I have seen guys who are very extrovert and girls who are social islands, so wouldnt agree with any sweeping generalisations here. I would say personally, Iam a bit on the introvert side, though I have never been bored on weekends. No Sir, me all for the 4 day work week movement.

p.s : Disclaimer - My posts labeled Anamika have nothing to do with Silverine :P

MC said...

i think its some law of the nature or can see the same thing when you look at fishes..or elephants..or even monkeys..females flock together..but males are more of loners.

personally, i am also an island. thought this is more an individual character though. i identify it more of wanting to be peaceful, hasslefree and enjoying the space :) group stuff is good provided the group is handpicked.

Me too cook during weekends to give my mom a break from the grumbles of the male community in my house :p
break the male community and brake their grumbling?


Di said...

very true!!! every friends (the guys) ask me what my plans are...i usually dont have any ..and just relish the idea of even just lazing at home...But they go crazy if they have nothing to do in the weekends!!

silverine said...

sachin r k: I know girls who are social islands due to restrictive upbringing. But even the others who are social islands will be perfecty happy alone. But it is not so with guys especially the ones living away from families. Anyways this is my observations only :)

MC: In nature I think it is strictly territorial reasons. Wonder what is the reason for the human male :p And you know after I wrote this post a lot of my friends with BF's tell me that girls nowadays find this keeping aloof syndrome of guys being imposed on the GF to and they resent it. I have blogged about it before :)

di: Absolutely right!!! I think it is this reticense in making friends that makes them bored.

Ajith said...

Well, I would put another way of looking at this..In a group of 5 guys, each one will have his own idea/suggestion of what u wanna do during weekend..And, its very difficult to coax all of them into a single path.. Naturally, since guys are a bit stubborn, it'll result in some ppl dropping out..And opinion differences can arise in a group of guys more easily than a group of gals i guess... And I admit it, for a girl to befriend a guy, it doesnt take much effort..but for a guy to strike it out with a gal, especially if she's a bit good looking, can be a monumental task.. So, All these contribute to the fact that lot of guys are alone .. But, there are occassions a booze party or a group bird-watching sessions where unusual bonding is seen between guys :)..

Nariyal Chutney said...

Interesting view points . Are you a feminist by any chance? :P

silverine said...

Ajith: You make a lot of sense. I have seen it with my bro and their freinds too. After much planning they sit at home and drink beer :P

nariyal chutney: No I am just an observer :)

naan said...

I come back home on a monday evening to hear my roomie saying 4 more days to the next weekend. Here in London we live for the weekend. Its the thought of the weekend that keeps us going through the rest of the week.

But a few months ago in Bangalore, I never had the same feeling. Weekends came and went by unnoticed. Many of the weekends were spent in office and the remaining ones on a kallada or shama bus!

Probably its the way we work, that gives us that different outlook. In London I work 8 hours - and those 8 hours is just work. I dont even get to talk to my colleague sitting next to me. 5 days of this monotonous work and your heart will be crying out for a break, which you fulfill in the weekend.

Whereas in Bangalore, I probably spend 10 or more hours in office, doing just 5-6 hours of productive work. The rest of the time goes in the numerous coffee breaks, chat breaks, phone calls and what not. There you always feel connected and you are enjoying through the week and weekend doesn't hold anything special.

So thats how I percieve my weekend blues..

Regarding the statement that guys dont get-together etc.. I dont agree and I rather not comment :)

abhishek said...

Guys enjoy weekends as well.

But you're right when it comes to getting guy colleagues together. It's really tough for guys to treat other guys as more than teammates or acquaintances...but it's possible. In fact, that's how I've made all my friends to date. Perhaps, it's because unlike girls, guys have that many common interests. You mentioned shopping, getting lunch - that's something that most girls with empathize with. When it comes to guys, the list of subjects is much shorter - cricket - umm, and that's pretty much it...I'm not sure drinking is such a commonality (I don't drink and several of my friends aren't). Don't know what it is - is it something in the way we are wired? Possibly....

silverine said...

naan: That's an interesting point! Besides there is so many places you can go to and so many things you can do abroad.

Abhishek: Cricke and drinking, small list I agree :))

G said...


When it comes to a Sunday, you will need a crane or Salma Hayek or an F1 race on a big screen to get me out of the house.

Interesting post though. Most guys do take longer to open up when compared to the women folk (now we're treading into dangerous territory - where a guy shows a girl a passport pic and all sorts of hell breaks loose - you now know why guys prefer each other's company heh heh)

As for most single guys finding the weekend boring - enjoy it fellas, coz when cupid (or bharatmatrimony)strikes, you will look back at these days with a certain fondness. I for one, am single and love my Sunday that allows me to do MY things - watch MY tv, download MY music and do nothing but LAZE. *content sigh*

abhishek said...


is your blogrolling update feature working?

mine isn't.

silverine said...

G: You just described a perfect weekend of mine "content sight" included. And I tell my friends the same thing...enjoy your freedom while it lasts, as most of my friends with BF's have a singular grouse that their guys make them into islands :p

Abhishek: Hope it's working now!!