Monday, December 04, 2006

The mile high humor club

This week I have done been flying like crazy from one city to another. I flew mostly Jet and Indian Airlines, now re christened
Indian”. I noticed that the in flight crew of “Indian” had a sense of humor while the in flight crew of the private airlines were polite and distant. Here are a few in flight experiences with “Indian”.

On a flight from Mumbai to Delhi, the pilot was coming around shaking hands with random passengers. A lady totally bowled over and all agog by the dashing pilot asked him the name of the after shave he was wearing. He answered with a smile and a wink in my direction” Old Monk”. The joke went over her head.

(And…no I didn’t wink back :p)

On a flight to Chennai one absolutely drunk passenger kept asking a stewardess for “balm” because he had headache. Fed up she sent a Steward:

Steward (officiously): “ I am sorry sir, due to security reasons we are not allowed to carry ‘bombs’”.
Passenger: Oh!!!

He kept quite for the rest of the flight after that!

And lastly people flying “Indian” too have a keen sense of humor as this passenger displayed.

On a night flight back to Bangalore. I am in the aisle seat and next to me in the middle seat is a guy in his 30’s I think. He asks the Air Hostess for a glass of water. The over worked and over stressed lady brings a glass of water and slams it on his table muttering under her breath “f***k y**” or something like that.

Without batting an eyelid our man turns to her and says earnestly “How I wish you would”

Dunno if this was an original line but no prizes for guessing who giggled hysterically.


MC said...

oh..the now legendary indian vs jet saga :) its such a contrast in every way..

but i think indian has come a long way..though they still live up to "letting your hearts fly"..literally i mean..

Sachin R K said...

Well well surprises never cease. My memories of flying Indian ( It had the 'Airlines' tail at the end then ) arent quite so pleasant. I would wait patiently for my row number to be called out and when I finally get in , what do I find but the overhead luggage space is full and the cabin baggage has to be checked in. What to do except take out the precious bottle of Johnnie chettan , carry it in my hands for the whole flight and send my baggage on to checkin.

Hmm what memories you brought back...but too long for a simple comment. You might have just given me the inspiration for a new post :)

LI said...

Hmm, Wonder what will you write about Indian if you compare it with Kingfisher :) instead of Jet.

Unni said...

I have one such memory of travelling in Indian. It was during last year Christmas eve, when I had to fly to Chennai from Singapore because of the untimely demise of my maternal grandmother.. I had bought the ticket directly from the Indian Airlines counter in Singapore Airport and since only business class tickets were available, I ended up travelling in the Biz class.. The only Biz class passengers were me, one old lady and a family of four. The old lady, I think was flying for the first time..

After reaching the cruising altitude, the flight captain put the flight on Auto Pilot and came out to meet the Biz class passengers.. The Chief steward was introducing him to the passengers.. When they reached the old woman, the steward introduced the pilot as "This is Captain Arjun Metha, captain of our flight". The lady didnot understand who the captain is, and so the steward explained her that the captain is the chief pilot who is flying the plane, opening the pandora's box!! The old woman suddenly became very concerned and started shouting, "Pilot??? What are U doing here instead of flying the Plane???? How can you be so irresponsible??" etc.. The Pilot and the steward tried explaining that there was a co-pilot and also the flight was on auto pilot mode and all, but this lady was not to be pacified... Atlast, the Pilot returned to the cockpit hastily just to escape the embarrassment.. I had a good jolly time laughing at the whole scene...

But the lady was not at all happy and had a worried face all through the journey!! I presume that given a chance, that lady will never fly and that too Indian in particular!!

Unnikrishnan G Nair.

alex said...

LoL..."wish you would"

I have never had this expereince yet.. :)

Ganja Turtle said...

lol! reminds me of an old series of air hostess story books which used to lie around at grandpas home "Cofee,tea or me"...about stewardesses and their exploits...hmmm...glad to see passengers are catching up!

What abt u? - try something new next time, woman!

G said...

Heh Heh.. Don't get me started on airline stories.

My favourite one that concerns me is :-

No matter what you fly - Indian, Jet, Kingfisher, Sahara, Spice, Air Deccan and what have you - there's ALWAYS humor available in large doses.

Last week, a larger-than-life collegue and I flew Jet Airways and since both of us are of healthy girth, we always ask for row 15 which the emergency exit. My pal kept a straight face during the lecture on opening the door but lost it and guffawed himself silly when the pretty lady told him he had to stay awake during landing and takeoff!

abhishek said...



How I'd kill to be there to witness that.


Original or not, that's some quick thinking on the guy's part.

Indian is so much like your average bus service. Overworked people, poor service, all the symptoms are there. Hurray for public sector units! Let's bow our heads to the "navratans" of our glorious country's industrial achievements.

mathew said...

Lol!! are lucky to have such memorable incidents everytime u fly!!

moi limited experience flying make me feel the service given by Jet is better than other overseas airlines..

Praveen said...

looks like "humor" follows you everywhere or is it that you are following "humor"? ;)

Dhanush said...

I remember my exp in Air India while I was coming back frm the US. I asked for a beer, she gave me two when I needed one. She must have seen a lot of bevudaas and was trying to say "Dont dare to ask any more" :)

Nice Writeup. Humour in ThinkPad??

silverine said...

mc: Such constrasts :) Friday I fly Kingfisher, lets see.

sachin rk: Looking foward to that post :)

Li: Friday shall tell :)

Unni: That was so funny and it happened to me when I was small. I got so frightened to see the Pilot in the cabin :))

alex: Just look around and observe :)

GT: These books narrate real incidents :)

G: Am gonna check out your post :)

abhishek: 'navratan' describes our sick blood sucking public sector so well :p

mathew: On your return flight look around and you will get lots of anecdotes to write about :)

praveen:Maybe you dont observe enough :p

Dhanush: Air India anecdotes are a scream, that will take a full dedicated post. I once helped a lady fill up her form before disembarking in S'pore and she gave me a dollar. She said Air India staff charge a dollar to help fill the forms. I just guffawed and gave it back to her :))

Ganja Turtle said...

ah...a vivid imagination...not bad! ;-)

Perspective Inc. said...


Ajith said...

I wonder what that 'How i wish ..'passenger would have reacted if it was a kingfisher flight :).

silverine said...

PI: Thanks :)

Ajith: I dont think such a thing wud have happened in KF :)