Thursday, December 21, 2006

To a special person...

This time last year, my family and extended family were busy with a big event in the family and that was my eldest brother’s wedding. I was damn excited about the whole thing with no care in the world. Since my brother is the eldest grandchild in my Dad’s family, it was considered a special occasion with the entire family dividing duties for the wedding. It took a big load off our shoulders.

It was a couple of days before the wedding that the import of the occasion struck me. Here was a guy who doubled up as an elder brother and Dad during my growing years and who was now getting married. It was like as if my parents were getting married to different people and going away. I suddenly felt like an orphan. The realisation hit me like a thunderbolt and I went into a minor depression. I remember writing in a mail to a friend that in a few days I would be losing my brother. I do not know why I wrote that and why I thought that. She replied right back telling me that I would never lose my brother no matter what.

Around this time the realisation that her eldest son is getting married must have hit my mom too because she also went very quite. This was the little boy who helped her raise her other two younger brats because my Dad was in the Gulf then. ( the reasons are here) The boy who had to feed his little sister when he was barely 8 years old and keep an eye on her while his she, my mom battled with the onerous task of keeping my hyperactive second brother from killing himself with all sorts of aimless brainless activities. This was the boy whom her daughter called “achcha” for the first time, which according to family legend is what made my Dad pack up his bag and leave the Gulf for good. (Though he hotly denies this, my Dad did spend the first month after getting back teaching me to call him achcha :p ). And this was the guy whom young moms in the family consulted when my mom was out and they needed help.

Young mom: What is that you used to give your sister when she had a tummy ache
Bro: Bonnisan!
Young mom: And what’s the dosage?
Bro: A teaspoon three times a day and be careful, if your son is anything like my sister then make sure you don’t show him the bottle or it will be smashed to pieces.

While most boys his age played and enjoyed themselves, my chetan had to keep an eye on me as I crawled around the house besides attend to his studies and homework, with a lot of “silverine spit the dog out right now!!!” thrown in. This was the guy who never had a proper childhood due to parenting duties dumped on his lap when he was so small. And this was the guy who loved being a parent to his younger siblings and never grumbled about the responsibilities on his young shoulders.

He was the person my teachers complained to because complaining to my Dad was useless. He would swell with pride when informed that I had pulled someone’s hair or not done my homework. He bought a semblance of order in my life, a discipline that normally should have been put in place by my Dad. He is the guy who kept an eye on my Dad, when I was forbidden to eat Ice Creams for a year due to a throat condition. My Dad somehow managed to get me one though my brother’s strict vigilance did pay off and I completed that year hating him for being so rigid.

And a lot more things besides...

On his wedding day last year (Dec 31st) I was a mess, I was sniffling around the house. My Dad was a little emotional too and my mom was not doing too well either. My second brother was too busy running around and the house was chock full of relatives. By mid morning my friends got a little concerned and I started getting calls from them telling me not to cry and spoil my brother’s big day. This made me cry more. Relations were teasing me saying that I could not barge into my brother’s room anymore and that made me feel worse!!

Throughout the day people like Sunitha and Anish kept calling trying to cheer me up. By evening my brother noticed the plight that mom and me were in and took us aside for a meeting and told us that all that he was doing was going to the Church for some time, getting married and after the Reception would be right back home for our annual New Year get together. When he put it so matter of factly like getting married was no big deal, things just fell in place. On his wedding day instead of glowing like a groom to be, he was back to parenting me and supporting his mother :(
Suddenly the past three days emotional outbursts looked childish and silly. I felt really bad for acting like a kid and spoiling that one special day in my big brother’s life. I got through the Wedding Mass and the Reception without a hitch but a lingering guilt remained and still remains. Like most of my misdemeanours in the past I know my brother will brush this one too aside indulgently, but the incident did make me grow up....fast :P

This is my 100th post here and I want to dedicate this to one of the most important person in my life. Thank you, you are the greatest Cheta.

Wishing you all a very happy and joyous Christmas and prosperous New Year!!

31 comments:

Scribbles said...

:( too touching silver..u made me go :( Moi had a tough time at my sis's wedding ..She played the role of ur chetan for me ...

silverine said...

Scribbles: I went :( too while writing this
:((

quills said...

Such a sweet and honest post. Big brothers are awesome are'nt they? No matter what you do or whatever happens, you still know they will still be the same solid rock you can lean on.

Your brother is equally lucky to have you..such a sweet darling sister. :)

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Ajith said...

Well...that was wonderful..Perhaps the best gift that u can giv to ur brother :)..Happy Christmas and happy newyear

Alexis Leon said...

Very moving post. Well written--honest and straight from the heart.

You are lucky to have an elder brother like him.

Here is wishing him and all of you a merry Xmas and a very happy and prosperous 2007.

And congratulations on the 100th post. Very aptly dedicated...

Nariyal Chutney said...

Staright from the heart . You are such a dear little sister and both your brothers seems to be lucky . Wish you a Merry X'Mas and a Prosperous New Year too .

Anoop G said...

happy christmas and happy new year!

Jay Sun said...

Beautiful post...you are indeed blessed to have such a loving family :)

And yes, Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year to you and your family too !

emmanuel said...

oh!!!
that was a wonderful post!!!

i can feel what being an elder brother and only thing that is different from ur "real" story is that i missed a sister like you........ :( being elder, i cud relate to most of the contexts u described here!!!!


really touching post.......it's so apt that u dedicated it to such a wonderful person in ur life.... :))


Wishing u a wonderful christmas and a different and prosperous New year!!!!

Sachin R K said...

So your chettan's anniversary is fast approaching? How's been life with your sis-in-law? Havent seen any post on her - or maybe I have just missed them.

Sachin.

Mind Curry said...

i wonder what the scene will be when you get married..one thing is assured..second brother will still be running around :) hes my types.

G said...

Me big brother. A fine example to two younger siblings yadda yadda yadda. If those two buggers feel anything (or maybe even half) for me in the matter you do for your brother, I will consider myself fortunate.

Having said that, nice post and compliments of the season to you and yours.

Abhishek said...

Congratulations on your 100th post, A.

I loved your sensitive side...
I admire your linguistic skills.

But what still intrigues me, is that how could a creative person like you choose Microbiology when it came to grad school...
I always thought you were more of liberal and creative arts kinda person...

(heh, heh)
- Abhishek

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

i am a lousy brother.
i am a real lousy brother.
maybe because i am the eldest in the family. i'm the grumpy brother with the sister and the cousins (some 20 of them).
that was something i could not help.

this one reminds me.. i should make it up to my sister some time.
i will.

PS: say, what's your idea of a perfect gift for a younger sister?

Anonymous said...

I am suprised I didn't start bawling half way:-)

Very touching. And very real feelings of little sisters everywhere.

Wish your family and you a very merry christmas and a happy new year.

-kajan

mathew said...

Silver..the best part of your blog is you dont have to add spice in your writings to make it sound good..And nice to see someone speaking from the heart..

Wishing you a wonderful year ahead and a merry christmas!!!

It is always nice to find friends like you in the blog world..cheers.......

Somya said...

Wonderful...just reminded me of my eldest sister...she is a darling and a lot like ur brother...more like mother n sis to her siblings. We generally jokes amongst ourselves that our parents just love one child of theirs...thats my elder sis Shiva...we others r more like "theek hai ab hai to kya kare types"...but this is a fact for my parents my sis is a model daughter and for us a model sister. Thanks for reminding so many good things.

Somya said...

Btw Congratulations on ur 100th post and May you have a wonderful Christmas and a great year ahead.

Synapse said...

i'm touched! must be wonderful to have a brother like urs! guess i'll never know since i am an only child!:(
N btw why no anecdotes abt ur sis in law? or am i sensing some rivalry here? :D
Merry Christmas n a Very Happy New Year to u!

Neihal said...

loved reading each word of this post...and what an amazing elder brother you have...lucky you!...if my younger brothers ever write a post abt me...it will have lots of 'gundagardi' moments and all possible adjectives of hatred (all for me offcourse) :)

Dhanush said...

That was such a sweet post. Hope my sis writes one for me like this :)

Happy XMas and New Year. Off to home on RED

Sanjay said...

Very touching, very well composed and a lot of other stuff....but shucks the only reality shows I watch are on the footer field... otherwise if i must watch something I am kinda the 'Becker' and 'Everybody loves Raymond' kinda chap.
Congrats on the century; but has anyone else told you that your neglecting your faithfull fan following on the other page. When is the sabbatical to end? We readers have rights too you know. We demand output!!
Best wishes for the season, Cheers

silverine said...

Quills: Thank you, so sweet..wish you the same :)

Alexis: It is so nice to see you back in action again!! Thank you :)

Nariyal Chutney: Have a fun Xmas :)

Ajith and Anoop G: Thank you and wish you the same :)

Jaysun: Thank you :)


Emmanuel: I read the Wonder Years post,in which you described your role as elder brother :) You are such a great elder brother yourself. Have fun in Kerala :)

Sachin rk: She is such a sweetheart and since she is not from our madcap family there isn't much to write about her :P

MC: I can now picture you very clearly, since you are like him :p God help the future Mrs MC :))

G: I was the same, like your siblings, woke up only last year to realise how much I have taken him for granted :( Have a fun Xmas and prosperous New Year. Party safe!

Abhishek: lol I am an English grad and an ex ad agency person to boot :P Thank you for your wishes :)

toothless wonder: I love your cheerful comments and attitude :) I am sure you are a wonderul bro inspite of being a lil grouchy and whatever you give her will be appreciated :)

Kajan: Thank you :)

Mathew: That was very sweet!! It's so nice to bump into friends like you too!! Have a fun Xmas :)

somya: Thank you :) Your sis sounds like my chetan! Compliments of the season!

synapse: hmm must be kinda lonely to be an only child. My SIL is too sweet to write anything about :)And it is my bro who is facing competition since I hang around with her more :p

neihal: I am sure deep down they love you :)

Dhanush: Drive safe in merawala RED and have fun! :)

Sanjay: Thanks, am quite busy these days, will post more regularly from Feb onwards at Pomanam :) Besides I need a break too dont you agree? :)

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

Thanks for saying that.
But I was actually expecting a gift idea.
I cant send her roses, you see - That's a bad idea.
And that's all I can think of.
Do you understand that this is a AAA emergency?
ding dong!
you've gotta help me!

silverine said...

toothless wonder: She is a girl...so give her a gift voucher unless you are deadly sure of her tastes :) I would suggest a nice feminine watch from the Titan Raaga collection or pick up a gift voucher from Oyezterbay or Gili. Dont get scared of the prices, they have more economical ranges too :) Best of luck!!

Di said...

that was soo nice...ur bro really is a dad-figure to u..wish both of u lot of happiness.. :)

abhishek said...

@silverine

was very moved to read about your brother and his wedding. being an elder brother myself, i'm sure if he ever gets the chance to know how you feel, he will be very moved and happy himself.

and of course, i would kill to have a little sis like u.

silverine said...

Abhishek: Thank you :) I was actualy expecting people to flay me for being so selfish and horrible, but the reactions have caught me off guard! Though that doesn't mean that I have forgiven myself for being so mean :(
Merry Christmas Abhishek! :)

Sandeep Sadanandan said...

hi,

started your blogs today. good entries.

and of all the ones i read, this is a real touching one.

sands.

Anonymous said...

dats just sooo chweet .......I m sure ur bro will be real proud of u ...:)

Anonymous said...

So sweet!!!