I'm happy!

No folks I did not win a Jackpot or a promotion. I am happy because of some other reasons. When I came into this office I was given a brand new comp with *UGH* freeware like OpenOffice *puke*. I immediately got rashes (I swear this is true) and demanded to see the Sysadmin. Now my Chief Syssie here is a jovial Bong, sweet and chubby and round as a Rosogolla. (But the poor man has a completely mallu team. He still manages to smile despite such tragedies). So I told him of my problems and he laughed. ( He laughs at anything... for example I remarked that it looks like it is going to rain and he was ROFL.) So my MS Office problem had him shaking with laughter and every muscle and fat group in his body got a well deserved exercise. ( The fat group clearly outnumbered the muscle group though at the ratio of 1: 756385754)

Amidst uncontrollable laughter he told a rather shy chota sysadmin to attend to my distresses. The rather shy chota sysadmin came shyly into my cabin and opened ‘My Computer’ very shyly. Then he blushed when he saw that he had forgotten to install MS Office. So he downloaded MS Office and went away blushing.

A few minutes later another chota sysadmin who was a little better than the other rather shy chota sysadmin in the shyness department came and installed Photoshop. After which another chota syadamin came and installed Corel Draw. After everyone had got a chance to come and install something or the other on my comp, the March Past of the Sysadmins stopped. ( it was fun and educative while it lasted, I got to see a variety of Sysadmins and their bumblings. Made me feel very human ) For example:

Chota Syadmin: I have installed Adobe Photoshop for you.
Me: er… I want Adobe Photoshop and not Adobe Acrobat.
Chota Syadmin: ooops ente daivame!! Sorry tow!

So now I have my beloved Microsoft Suite of products without which I frankly cannot live. ( I can almost feel Aashiks evil grin right now :p ).Maybe I am too used to it. I have been using MS Office from the time I was a teeny bopper and could reach the keyboard. It was easier to use the thesaurus in MS Word than consult a dictionary with a million pages and tiny miniscule print. And of course the teacher was none the wiser. I even got honorable mention for ‘Consulting the Dictionary’.

I know, I know I keep taking digs at MS but then I take digs at my Mom and second brother too don’t I? You take digs at people you love. See, I never make digs at Anonymous commenters!!!

After the installation, suddenly all the documents changed their icons and the familiar MS Word icon appeared on them like magic. It was truly a wonderful and breathtaking moment. And then I clicked on MS Word and as the familiar window opened I almost kissed the monitor. (Trust me after beholding Open Office Writer you will kiss even your boss.) So me is back on track and life is good once again.

Pssst don’t think I wont take digs at Papa Billy and his armamentarium. That will continue as an when it irritates or annoys me.

On blogging...

Picked up this heaven sent tag from Pradeep. Been wanting to write about blogging for some time now.

1. Are you happy/satisfied with your blog, with its content and look? Does your family know about your blog?

I am very satisfied with my blog, because I have no aspirations or ambitions for it. All I wanted was to write without censure and editing. My family knows about this blog and I started blogging with their approval. I am happy with the feel as I am not obsessed about my blog.

2. Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?

I am careful about who knows about my blog. I come from a conservative community and everything I write has the potential of a scandal. So only some close friends and relations know about my blog. I also work in a company that requires me to admit to any blogging activity and so I write under a pen name. I would love to blog under my name but then it would restrict the freedom of expression and I do not want to write politically correct posts.

3. Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?

Yes. I never thought when I started blogging that anyone would be interested in my writing. But surprisingly there seemed to be an increasing number of guys reading my blog. And they were such gentlemen!!! And I say this not because they liked my posts, but because they seemed tolerant of a gals outlook on life and guys in general. My perceptions about guys have changed. I have realized that the community of guy bloggers are thorough gentlemen or maybe only gentlemen blog :) I feel good to have connected to so many people.

(All you gals scouring shaadi portals...you know where to get the best guys...at my blogs!!!!!!!! And it’s FREEE!!!!)

:p

4. Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?

There was a time when I had time to blog hop and that is how I discovered most of my blog pals and I sort of settled into reading some on a regular basis because I like their writing. Through my blog pals many people discovered my blog. But nowadays, I comment only on posts that I like reading. If I come across interesting blogs I do comment.

5.What does visitors counter mean to you? Do you care about putting it in your blog?

I put it the Statcounter at Poomanam on Leon's advice last October (2005). It has been a real eye opener. I realized that there are more silent readers than commenters. I get an average of 10k hits at Poomanam and 2 K hits per month at Think Pad. I did care about putting in one at this blog for the same reason. However the fact is, nothing affects my writings. I write what I want and will keep writing till I feel like, whether there are readers or not. That is my blogging philosophy.

6. Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?

No, I didn’t.

7. Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?

By real if you mean ‘monetary’ then I do not know. Otherwise it is a great help…most reticent people turn very eloquent while blogging. And once you get used to expressing your thoughts, you get a clearer picture of who you are and what you want in life. I would call bloggers a ‘mind community’. When you see a person in flesh and blood, some prejudices like the way a person looks or some mannerisms can cloud your impression of the person. But in blogs you respond only to the person’s thought process, which I think is the most honest form of interaction.

8. Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?

I don’t think there is a bloggers society. I think we all have our offline life and do not spend our entire time at our blogs to be called a society. Blogging is just another small part of our daily lives. But when it comes to calamities, bloggers do rally around and do their best to help.

9. Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it's a normal thing?

Criticisms of my writing style annoy me because I am not a professional writer. My blog is like my personal diary. You don’t peep into people’s diaries and comment on their writing styles do you? My blog is the same. Just another random rambling. Criticism also means you are taking away the right of a blogger to freedom of expression. Period.

I also do not like expectations from me, something that is happening regularly these days. I do not like my blog (Poomanam) being in the limelight though inadvertently it has. I want it to be considered just another blog and not a regular syndicated humor column, which seems to be the popular perception now.

10. Do you fear some political blogs and avoid them?

I don’t fear political blogs. My favorites are on my blogroll at Poomanam. But I know nothing about politics so don’t comment on political blogs except at DOC and Vinod's and lately Brijesh's blogs… and that is because these people tolerate my comments and have not booted me out yet. :p

11. Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?

I didn’t know anything about this. But if they have used their blog for criminal or anti State activities then they deserve it.

12. Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?

It will die with me. My blog is uniquely me. My friend and my brother has my User ID and password. So they will keep it open I guess till there are readers for the archives.

13. What do you like to hear? What's the song you might like to put a link to in your blog?

I would like to hear:

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD - Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Oh yeah

I can hear anything as long as it is melodious or has a good beat. I would put a new song everyday on my blog :)

This is one time I will take great pleasure in tagging some people. And these are a few of my favorite men err..I mean tagees :p

Alexis, Mind Curry, Jiby, Mathew (if the Germans allow you to blog), Ganja Turtle, Fleiger and Emmanuel. And a very eloquent and elegant gal blogger...Quills!

Reminiscences ...

Yesterday was my brother M’s birthday. Last year I wrote this post in his honor on a dare ( I was richer by Rs 1000/- the kanjoos!!!). While going over my old stuff I found a Slam Book that was such a rage when I was in school. Here are some excerpts from his entry in a as is where is basis. He was 12 or 13 years old I think.

My name: wuts ur prob
My address: da moon
My phone no: 091-get-out-of-my-face.
My Sunsign: Heat
My biggest asset: Myself.
I’m sad about: Writing this stuff
My most memorable moment: 4 minutes back (before I started writing this duh!!!!)
Biggest Strength: Not u (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
My hobbies: notin u like
My favorite Singer: Myself
A girl/boy I like most and why: Myself (duh!!!)
A girl/boy I hate most and why: u cos u r a pest
I love wearing: Clothes (duh!!!)
My best teacher (Male): MAHATMA GANDHI (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
My favorite movie: Silverine shuts up!
What annoys me: U!! (duh!)
What bores me: Writing this!
My ambition: Millionaire
My dearest pal: My dog (that’s actually my dog)
My dream lover: Me
Love to me is: Mum
Person I respect : Dad
What I feel for you: U dont want to know( Ha! Ha! Ha!)

Signed
M
(I am da greatest…not you!)

Of course I cried and almost tore the paper up because my friends sister's had written such sweet stuff. Thank god, my mom kept it safe till I cooled down. I now have something to show his future wife, in case she needs solid evidence of insanity in court!! :p
On second thoughts I will sell it to the highest bidder muahaHAHAHA

Life is good!!!

I would describe a perfect day as...opening my blog and seeing two tiny asterix next to a name on my Blog Roll, which indicates that someone has published a new post.

The last two weeks was reading heaven for me. Jiby came out with some posts in quick succession. I won’t even attempt to describe his posts; each one is so perfect and interesting.

Kusum came out with some brilliant posts that left me gawping at it’s sheer spunkiness and subtle sense of humor.

My old pal If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya resurfaced and put up a rib tickling piece in a way only she can write.

Mind Curry’s latest post on the Cola ban, has me chuckling at the sheer stupidity of some commenters and I can almost visualize MC trying his best to reply to the comments with a straight face. At this present moment I wonder if he behaving like AA in my latest post :p I sincerely hope he is not and that he will continue his crusade to resurrect the land of the zombies. His posts and comments at Save Kerala should be made compulsory study for Anthropologists trying to decipher the Malayaleee psyche. You won’t get such a rich source of study material anywhere. No need to cut open a Malayalee brain to see what make them tick and go BOOM, just read the comments at Save Kerala and you can say goodbye to those tomes and volumes that thousands have consulted in vain to decipher the Malayalees.

Alexis came up with a mega bumper post and lord in heaven… I am laughing hysterically as I type this …it is so howlarious that I am going to get into serious trouble at the office. My new team members who are not used to seeing me giggling into a monitor like my last team, think that I am crazy!!!

Ganja Turtle came up with, not one but four posts with astonishing speed. I would describe his recent posts as watching the New York Philharmonic Orchestra playing at the Grand Canyon to an exclusive audience consisting only of Mother Earth , the orchestra reaching a crescendo as the Sun sinks into the canyon in grand applause.

Matter of Choice …a blogger whose command over English and maturity of thought I admire, wrote about Shine Garments. Every post of his is a satisfying read for me. I simply admire the richness of his language and the mix of wisdom and wit that has prompted me to tell him many times in the past that he should blog more often.

Angel Doc’s posts, in which she describes the elements is second to none. One of those few people who can weave a beautiful tapestry of visuals describing Nature using mere words …her latest post on Dasappa and her description of the rain lashing near the Vellayani lake left me awestruck.

Jeremy the jewel….I call him that because each of his post is like a gem, short and sweet but beautiful and precious and sooo refreshing.

Thank you Sarah for making each day something to look forward to with your story...a complusive read for me.

And last but not the least the very hilarious professor of Iyer Education…he reminds me of Tom the cat. Recently he attempted a story and I realized to my horror that I am a compulsive ‘twist in the tale’ girl. Of course I realized this when I wrote Acid Rain and Silent Killer, but I guess my tendencies are resurfacing again...because when I saw this story by Iyer Education I went into a trance and redid the story…with a twisted twist in the tale. And Sir Iyer fortunately let me off without an imposition!

What to do? I am like this only. I love to read the blogs of a few people...and when they oblige me with a post, I can only say thank you. Blogging is no fun if your favorite bloggers don’t post, but blogging has to be natural too….and so I wait patiently till one of them has to say something. Right now I am in blogger heaven. If I have missed out anyone then I am sorry, I will add an addendum as I remember.

Thank you all you wonderful people!!!

To the one I love...

To my itsy bitsy chweety pie of a doggie woggie!

I fell in love with you the moment I saw you
You were my baby from the time I set my eyes on you
I carried you home in the palm of my hand
You were so tiny
And then you entered my house
and conquered my home and my family
You became the most important thing for everyone
Suddenly everyone wanted to carry you
cuddle you
put you on their bed and even sleep with you
There was a tug of war and I was left questioning whether you
were my dog or theirs
But I realized that sweetness such as yours was to be shared.

You cried when I am sick
Went off food
and hung around morosely under my bed
or curled yourself into a tight ball...
now and then looking up to see if I was alright
Whined in the morning if I slept late
Scared lest I am not alive
And I always put out a hand
to reassure you before falling back to sleep

You are the first thing I see in the morning
And the last face I behold at night
I have no choice as you…
Hang around me like a shadow

You are my angel that God sent down
To tell me I am special
Happy B'day chweety pie, lollypop, sugar plum, honey bunch, doggylee, fur face, love of my love and all the other things mushy that I call you
except your name.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

Of human perversions

"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."

Emo Philips

If you understood that, then you are among the urban group who have grown up on a steady diet of American books and understand a lot about western society. Any other Indian on the other hand would not understand this joke, because necrophilia is unknown to him. In the US where everything and anything is possible, jokes like these are laughed off. In India it would be treated with shock. And therein lies a tale that is spine chilling and very disquieting.

I got a forward recently sent to me by my cousin in UK. He is a father of two young boys aged 3 and 7. The email was a petition against leniency to two teenage boys who tortured and then killed a five year old by pushing him under a train. The boy was tortured for hours before he found reprieve in death. During the ordeal he cried for his mother. He was apparently picked up from a store when his mom looked away for an instant.

I followed a link in the mail and was soon confronted with sites, which chronicled crime in the West. What I read was horrifying. Apparently crime in the West is not as straightforward as it is in India. In the West you have people taking perverse pleasure in inflicting harm on another human being, sadism and torture of human beings and creative killing and people who take intense pleasure in these acts. Even babies are not spared. Sophisticated weaponry also makes sure that the victims have no chance to put up a fight. The type of the crimes are mind boggling, scary and very very perverse.

I wonder how or what makes people do such things? It cannot be just manic behavior because most of these criminals were educated people who were as sane as you and me. A friend and senior in college, who is a Clinical Psychologist tells me that childhood abuse, violence and neglect is what makes criminals like these. In which case a parent or a guardian who has mistreated a kid should have also, logically been mistreated as a kid! Which raises the question, as to where it all began.

My cousins in US tell me that so many kids go missing in the US and are never traced. Many of them are abused and killed and their bodies disposed off. In fact there was a movie or a book that tried to get to the bottom of missing children.

Why does a society turn against it’s young, it’s very foundation? It is against all natural logic. And if the young were treated thus, then it wouldn’t be too far fetched to surmise that the West maybe, is a nation of troubled adults…would it?

( I am listening to Your Tenderness by Naveen J Anthraper , the rocker from Kochi who is making waves worldwide. This song is an all time favorite of mine. Please wait for the video to load.)

Leaders in thought and action

Yesterday, as I was sitting at my comp, working, my colleague M, an foreigner dropped by. He had been to some village during the weekend and was amazed at it's primitiveness. He remarked that he felt like he was going back in time.

His remarks left me thinking. Here was a man from the Caucasian stock, a race of people who went through the same process of evolution as us. But look at them!!! Almost every advancement in modern day world can be credited to them.

As I looked around my office floor, I could not spot a single item except the Zero’s written on my notepad that was either discovered or invented by an Oriental. Even the concept of justice and equality is borrowed from them and our Constitution comprises of the salient features from many western countrie's Constitutions.

The computer I work on, the software I was using, the chair and table, the pen and paper I used, my mobile everything, directly or indirectly was made by the white man. What is it that sets apart them from us, as both the western and eastern civilizations went through the same process of evolution from primitive beings?

While we evolved culturally, they evolved and progressed on all fronts. We send droves of Software Engineers to the US, while they discovered Computers and Software Engineering. In fact even the fertilizer used in the village, which my colleague visited, would have been invented by someone in the western civilization. Almost every enhancement in our life, from birth to death can be attributed to them.

Overlooking the obvious criticisms of the western society, I must admit that they are definitely superior to us in intellect. We excel in everything they invent, but rarely invent or discover anything new on our own, even today, when we have IISCs and IITs.

I still wonder what sets them apart from the other races on this planet.

The young and the bold and sometimes foolish

When I joined my first job, my designation was Marketing Communication and Public Relations (PR). I had zilch experience in PR, except for the usual college projects on drafting Press Release etc. I got to write my first Press Release in the first week that I joined. It was a small press release about someone joining our company in some capacity. So I dutifully wrote it, got it approved etc. Now this company had a PR agency, but the PR manager wanted me to have experience of disseminating the Press Release the real way, i.e making a database of Journos and then mailing them individually after calling them up and then following the story as it broke in papers worldwide. During the week that I sent out the Press Releases I learnt some big lesson made some huge gaffes and became a minor celebrity in the PR department.

Case number one:

I call this all-supreme journo in a prominent newspaper and tell him of the Press Release. He grunts when he hears the subject of the release and tells me to mail to him. Next day I see that the news has not come in the paper. So I promptly call him. He tells me that it is not such an important news and that he will publish it on Friday. So I mull over that information and call him again and ask him if he could publish it on a Thursday as Friday is followed by the weekend and people who miss the news on Friday may miss it altogether. He is livid. He asks me my name, when I have joined and enquires if I know who he was etc. I told him that I knew nothing about him and why he is acting so difficult? I heard sputtering and choking noises on the other end as he tried to control the indignation of being spoken to with such irreverence. To his credit he calmed down and gave me an impromptu lesson on talking to senior journalist while trying to get your matter published etc. In my inexperience I missed the point totally. And so I again reiterated that I wanted the news on Thursday, to which he replied that he would speak to my boss the PR manager. I don’t know what transpired between them, but the news got published on a Thursday and my PR manager was suddenly smiling at me. I got a couple of calls from our PR agency people too, all of them chuckling that I had called a spade a spade, i.e called the senior journo ‘difficult’.

Case number two:

I call this very important Business magazine for the same press release. The person I am directed to is the top journo, a business and technology writer who thinks that people should read his bio-data and research his articles before even speaking to him. Not knowing him from Jack I called him and told him that I was mailing him the press release and please may I know when it would be published. There was pin drop silence. Then he quietly asked me if I knew who he was. I honestly told him ‘no’. He suggested I find out and call him again and then he slammed the phone down. I hate rude people and any act of rudeness only makes me bold. So I promptly called him again and told him that it was not nice of him to be so rude. He must have been taken aback but he said mildly “Oh really and what do you expect me to do? Take orders from a rookie PR like you who doesn’t even know how to talk to a senior journalist?” I told him that I was sorry if he felt I was ordering him around and that all I wanted was my press release published. He told me to mail it in and kept the phone down. The news got published and when he dropped by our office to interview my MD, I was called to meet him. When I walked into the conference room he exclaimed “So this is the kid who was talking so boldly to me?” He was a distinguished old man and we took and instant liking for each other and remain friends to this day. He is still Mr. High and Mighty and I am no more in PR.

After joining this new company, as is the usual practice I called up all the journos and informed them of the change and I happened to speak to these two gentlemen. They of course, took lot of pleasure in reminding me of my first Press Release and I was left very red faced at my naiveté.

Today when I see the new PR gals shivering at the thought of speaking to a senior journo, I realize that it was my total lack of awe, bought on my complete lack of knowledge of PR practices that pulled off that coup.

And my PR manager…she just played her cards ( a wet behind the ears PR gal) very well. Kudos Ms SS !!

Cashing in on the poor

I was passing by one of those seedy movies theaters that you see in the seedier parts of Bangalore. This one too was festooned with streamers and serial lights, which seem to be ever present in these theaters. This time I saw a giant poster of the Kamalahaasan movie Indian. The “I” in Indian was the picture of the ‘older’ Kamalahaasan in Khaakhi. This movie is about an old man who became a killer after the some tragic circumstances in his life bought about by politicians and people in authority. The movie was a huge hit. Kamalahaasan acted as the old man, the wife and the son in a triple role. The poster was signed by a string of names from the Kamalahaasan Fan Club.

During the time this movie was released, a slew of similar productions hit the floor, all with the same theme. Man gets abused by politician, or his daughter/wife/sister raped by a politician or his son/father/brother killed by a politician, and spineless cops etc etc. These themes were sure fire hits and made many a producer rich.

Someone left a comment on Poomanam sometime back that “movies reflect life”. How true. And movie makers who are willing to harvest current sentiments always win. It is evident by the popularity of these movies that there is a great deal of resentment against the all powerful rich politicians. And it is this aspect about our people that puzzles me. If this is the case then ‘why oh why’ do the crowd that watch these movies elect them?????

When I was staying in the city last year to cut back on commute time, we had a maid doing top work in our house. During the local corporation election time I asked her who she would vote for. She named a really corrupt Corporator of our Ward. The reason? Because he got her a seat for her child in school. Now this man was the epitome of corruption and would demand money even if you were putting up a garage in your house. He would ride to power on the votes of the people in the Ejipura slum and the slum adjacent to Games Village and then lord over the Koramangala residents. I looked at my maid and realized that it was she who selected rulers for me and not me the educated and hence ‘better informed’ voter. The fact is it is my maid, the corporation sweeper on the road, the workshop man, the housepainter, the tea coffee delivery boy etc who make the choices of our leaders and not you and me. It was a depressing thought.

And it is these people who throng the theater and whistle when the baddie gets bashed up, usually a goonda protected by a politician. And by the reaction of the masses to these scenes in the movie, one would think that they are aware of the corruption and hence would vote responsibly. But that rarely happens, doesn't it?

And the politicians have never had it so good. Muscle power, Investments flows, a powerless educated electorate makes them the omnipotent class in this country today. Which is why Bangalore the Hi Tech City had dust tracks instead of roads for the past four years and looked like a ghost town.

A Corporate Onam

Today was our office Onam celebration. This year a lot of malayalees could not go to Kerala for Onam due to project deadlines. So we decided that we would try and give them a semblance of the Onam celebration as it is celebrated in Kerala.

A committee was formed on the spur of the moment and lightening decisions with the help of all concerned including department heads meant that we had an elaborate Onam Celebration in our hands. And it turned out to be a grand celebration indeed with everyone pitching in.

An elaborate Onasadhya was arranged with a caterer who specializes in the same. Nowadays these caterers are in demand as most companies have Onasadhya on Onam day. So we were lucky to get this caterer. We had a Pookolam competition last year, but this year decided against it and we instead settled for a large Pookolam in the Cafeteria.

We started with the Pookolam first thing in the morning. It was a combined effort with the guys doing a much better job than the girls. They came complete with a highly technical chart of the Pookolam design and then went about the whole Pookolam design in a systematic ‘engineer’ kinda way. They cut ropes of various sizes and put them on the outline, then filled the space in between with the petals. Not very intricate like Mind Curry's but neat and clean, looked just like our glass fronted building. Someone incorporated the logo too to complete the picture…and we had the most corporate Pookolam ever :p

Me and my pal Trish, did the small Pookolam in the reception area. What it lacked in precision, it made up in design. A lamp in the centre bathed the Pookolam with it’s soft golden light. The expats in our company were the most enthusiastic lot and it was so nice to see their blond heads bent in concentration arranging the Pookolam.

A Swedish colleague Stefan came and helped me and Trish with our Pookolam and he wouldn’t get up till he felt it was picture perfect.Most memorable moment was watching Stefan cleaning up the surounding area with a broom and dust pan and shooing anyone who came within 5 feet of the Pookolam.

What stood out today was the camaraderie among the people who organized the day. There was a determination to make it as memorable as possible. The Department heads too chipped in by giving the day off for the members of the organizing committee.

Lunch was very traditional with everyone coming into the cafeteria getting the traditional sandalwood paste smeared on their forehead. One of the Teams bought mundus (lungi) for everyone in their team including the expats and it was so nice to see the full gang in traditional Kerala outfits. First time in my life I saw blond mallus. :))

As is the tradition we, i.e. mallus helped serve lunch on banana leaves as we were the hosts of the day. Our CTO an American, wore a mundu, Kerala style and served the Kaalan at the Onasadhya. It was hilarious watching him tie up his tongue into knots trying to say 'Onashamsakal’. He didn’t give up and finally managed to say it with reasonable accuracy.

There were 34 items in the Onasadhya and I think I may eat my next meal for the next Onam, I am so stuffed. By the time we sat down for our Lunch it was already 3. But that was the best part of the day. It felt really good to finish feeding the hordes and then sit down for a well deserved Onam lunch with some Malayalam songs playing in the background. It was a sight to see, a sea of people in white and gold.

This months Intranet articles was all about Onam, (cos the Intranet in Charge, me is mallu of course) and it sort of helped kick start the programme.

Unlike other festivals arranged by the Corp Comm Team, this one was very different because it had a personal touch with all of us Malayalees and some non mallus too involved in every stage. A first in the company. Our Country Head sent out a mail in the evening, saying that this was the first time that a festival had everyone in it’s grip with it’s fervour and color. Today I felt proud to be a Mallu.

Happy Onam everyone :)

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Warning: Do not read if you are planning to watch the movie.

I saw My Super Ex-Girlfriend yesterday night at the Symphony. It is a nice movie to watch if you want to give your brain a vacation of two hours to recuperate from being your brain.

The story line is unbelievable…literally. Luke Wilson and his nerdy needy pal Rainn Wilson are traveling by train when Rainn spots Uma Thurman. She looks spectacularly boring like most train commuters but then hey… she is Uma Thurman and you got to pick her up from the crowd to get the movie going. Apart from that there is no convincing reason why Rainn spots her with her brown toupee, spectacles and makeup less mousy face. Rainn convinces Luke to ask her out which he does quite charmingly only to be met with a ‘No’. Just when you are telling yourself ‘cant a guy take a hint?’ the movie takes a bollywood kinda turn. A bag snatcher snatches Uma’s hand bag and runs out of the stationery train. It was moving I swear, when Uma said ‘No’.

Most of the plot that provides the twists and turns in this movie are unbelievable.

Luke Wilson for one, looks good and definitely not the kind of guy who has no love life and hence is desperate enough to pick up a dull looking Uma Thurman in a suburban train.

Uma Thurman acts like a neurotic, jumpy, crazy woman on their first date, scaring the living daylights out of Luke and the audience. Besides this, the scriptwriter gives Luke enough hints as large as a mental asylum, that Uma Thurman is cuckoo, but he still asks her out for a second time, and you kinda say “he deserved it’ when things turn really bad for him.

Luke’s plan was to get laid and move on, but he makes the cardinal mistake of asking her out again, and Uma promptly falls in love with him. When he tells her that he is not in love with her, she literally hits the roof and makes a hole in the ceiling. She vows to make him pay for the rejection and flies away in a rage through the hole in the ceiling. This, of course happens on the second date.

Uma's character is full of holes, which is good actually as she does a lot of flying around in the air at supersonic speed. Adds to her aerodynamic character. She is sensible enough to appear like Superman and save the city from the stupid catastrophes thought up by the Stunt Director, but she is absolutely stupid otherwise. Perhaps the Stunt Director could have directed the entire film, as the only scenes that make sense are the Supergirl exploits of Uma Thurman. She also looks good only in the movie posters and in her G-girl avataar, losing the brown toupee and spectacles. The stunt director has taste I must say.

Then Luke realizes that he is in love with his sweet colleague Anna Faris, whose nice boyfriend conveniently gets himself caught in bed with three girls to clear the way for Luke. She promptly falls in love with him and they make love. (See didn’t I tell you that Luke doesn’t look needy?). Uma throws a live shark into their bedroom scene…the shark fortunately has better tastes and bites off huge chunks of the furniture in a feeding frenzy. Due to some personal ethics not divulged by the scriptwriter, Uma doesn’t go after Anna even though she should… logically.

Finally an ex boyfriend of Uma devices a glowing rock, similar to the one which made Uma super powerful and makes her walk into a trap set by Luke. Of course he forgets to tell girlfriend Anna not to barge in making a huge scene, which leads to the explosion of the rock making Anna also a Supergirl.

The theater was packed with nine people, out of which two were the ushers, one was a guy who kept gazing into his cellpone, besides five girls...out of whom one kept looking around thinking “I will blog about this”, another kept giggling at everything including the 'Please take care of your belongings in the theater’ slide and the ‘Nokia ad’, and another who was watching the movie like she is watching the 'Schindler’s List’ and another who kept exclaiming “The cheese popcorn is soggy, chat popcorn is spicy and the masala popcorn is too bland” etc. The fifth one is still missing.

Oh yes... before I end this rather long review, please avoid the Ice cream in the theater. It is very good actually, but not advisable to be eaten in the air-conditioned theater or you will end up writing movie reviews on a Saturday night sniffling with cold, cough and fever.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

awwwwww

Marvin by Tom Armstrong

(So true isn't it? Got this from the newspaper. Couldn't resist posting it.)

Little big doubts

Yesterday my cousin sister left her three and a half year old daughter with me in the evening as she had to go to her doctor for a tetanus shot. She is in the eight month of her pregnancy. I took little Neetu for a walk in the evening. She comes over regularly after playschool and her mom picks her up in the afternoon. As we walked she asked me very casually if I would love her the same way as now after the new baby comes. I have seen this situation many times. So I answered equally casually that I don’t care about the new baby as I care only about her. Then she asked the same about my mom and I replied that my Mom, Dad and brothers, sister in law and dogs all love her and we are not taking some new baby we don’t even know and replacing her. She smiled slowly, a satisfied smile and then skipped ahead happily.

It looked like the conversation had taken away some worry that was eating into her for some time. I could not help feel a stab of anger against the parents. It didn’t look like they had prepared her for the arrival of the new baby. It was evident that the child had a lot of fears that were not addressed. Over dinner my Mom told them about the conversation and advised them that they should sit with her and talk to her about it. Neetu was evidently thinking that she was going to be replaced by a new baby. She didn’t look at the arrival of the new baby as a natural event as she was too small to understand it.

My Mom told them of a similar situation when I was born. My second brother apparently took it really hard and our neighbor, a child counselor helped a lot in repairing the damage caused by the fact that my parents didn’t prepare him for the event. They naturally assumed that like my eldest brother my second brother too would accept the new arrival without much ado. Anyways things turned out for the best as he realized that he had a little fan following er….crawling and the fan was quite harmless (:p)and his parents loved him the same.

Neetu’s parents were a bit taken aback by the conversation. As they left for home I hoped they would talk to Neetu and allay her fears.

Today Neetu’s Dad called up and thanked my Mom and me. Apparently the little tyke had an enormous amount of doubts, fears and some false notions about the impending arrival of the sibling and the parents were amazed at the fact that beneath the calm exterior lay a bubbling volcano of insecurity betrayed only by temper tantrums now and then.

I have decided that I am not even looking at the new baby…and I know from experience that the new baby wouldn’t care, at least not now. At present Neetu has our undivided attention :)

The business of education

A comment by Alexis on the last post triggered this post. In the last post I described a typical working day anecdote. Small events that sometimes make you laugh. But behind this particular event lies a sad truth that is going unnoticed by the students and parents of today.

When I joined my first job in an IT MNC purely on the merit of my track record as a copywriter, there was a rush of girls in my family in Kerala to do English, Journalism and Mass Communication. Everyone thought that my present professional status was due to me taking English. Thank god for some frantic phone calls from me, which made them change their minds.

What a lot of people didn’t realize was that I have years of reading behind me that embellished my English. I am sure most people who write English have been through the same evolution. Copywriting, Content Writing, Creative Writing like Fine Arts is a talent-based profession. And the people who are now working in the communications arena are people who can pull it off. I mean make boring technical manuals into attractive and readable brochures, make website content appealing so that a potential customer goes through it and enquires about your services leading to sales. But there are thousands of students pursuing a course in Mass Communications, English and Journalism without even knowing what it entails.

Consider this. The other day a Journalism trainee was working with the Corporate Communications team as part of her College Project. The poor girl had never read any notable authors, nor could she write a line of English properly. She was near to tears when told to make a simple bulleted ppt presentation on a PR exercise done by the Corp Comm team. Over coffee I chatted up with her. She is graduating next year from a high profile private university. What she told me appalled me. She, like many others were ‘counseled’ about the scope of taking up a ‘Journalism Course’ without even checking if this girl could write English well. She is one among the 90 odd students doing this course paying almost 2 lakhs.

Another incident: My friend runs a small design studio. When she advertised for Graphic Designers, a lot of freshers turned up. All of them had been through the Multimedia course and knew the mandatory Photoshop, Corel Draw, Dream weaver etc. As I went through the process of testing them I stumbled upon another startling fact. None of these guys were artists. All of them were regular graduates who were attracted by the thought of becoming hotshot 'Art Directors’. What they didn’t realize was that Graphic Design is for artists and these softwares is just another means to transfer their art onto the computer monitor. What’s the point of giving a paintbrush in the hand of a guy who does not even know how to draw??? These poor kids knew how to operate the software but did not know how to ‘create works of art’ with it. And they too had shelled out 50 K apiece for their courses. In companies like mine only Chithra Kala Parishad or Art graduates with a Multimedia Course are allowed in as Graphic Designers. Which leaves scores of ‘Multimedia’ students out in the cold.


Students in the non-technical streams need thorough counseling so that they take up courses suited to their skills. Regular colleges don’t bother and the private universities and institutes entice students with visions of promising careers only to fill their coffers. The result, a large amount of money wasted in useless courses. These Institutes promise placement too, which is a clever arrangement with certain companies. For example students who pass out Travel and Ticketing courses are placed with small travel agencies for a pittance. The institutes have thus honored their promise, the travel agency gets cheap labor and the student soon quits, due to the abysmally low pay.

Once my Dad remarked sarcastically looking at the mushrooming institutes, that if car washing was a paying job then we would have an “ABC Car Washing Institute, 100% placements guaranteed!”

Vocational courses are big bucks now. And no one is bothered whether you have the vocation or inclination for the course.

Proof checking?

Today I got a mail from the new trainee in our team, a bright girl, fresh out of college : It said…

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know that I have completed proff chekcing of the mailers. See attachmnet.

Regards,

PM

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

A quiver of quills

I was tagged by Jina thought I mistakenly thought it was Quills after reading her tag. Apologies Jina :) Wot to do, am growing old :p So here my tag dedicated to both of you lovely ladies :)

I am a very confident person and care two hoots about what others think except my family

I said be happy with what you have yet do not stop giving your best to everything in life

I want a world devoid of hunger

I wish that every child and dog have a loving home

I miss childhood

I hear “song sung blue”

I wonder and hence I Google

I regret nothing…yet!

I am deeply affected by human tragedies like the Tsunami, I lashed out at God and asked “Why?!” I lost a little faith when it happened. Then regained it back all over again.

I dance very well

I sing all the time

I cry at the drop of the hat. I am an expressive and demonstrative person

I am not a person who beats around the bush, am brutally frank

I write for my bread and butter and clothes, shoes, cosmetics and perfumes… :p

I confuse between Kannada and Tamil. I tend to use both while talking.

I need to have my family around.

I should stop being so friendly and open with people I meet for the first time.

I finish what I have started ...never leave things undone

I pass this on to anyone who wants to take it up.

Down under to Vailankanni and Point Calimere

Every year we go to Vailankanni in January. It is a sort of a New Year pilgrimage. My parents came here soon after they were married and then with each one of us, as we arrived. Since then we have been coming here every January. I must confess that I am addicted to this place. Apart from the visit to the shrine this place is an amazing world in itself. The whole family looks forward to the trip.

Since the beginning we have always driven down to Vailankanni as having your own transport is ideal for a family like ours, that likes to explore. The drive till Trichy is uneventful. From Trichy the sights change suddenly, as banana plantations line the road on either side of the way. Somewhere along the way, the river Kaveri joins you. It flows calmly and steadily along the way and the sight is beautiful. We always take the bypass from Trichy, which means narrow well-maintained roads via green paddy fields and more banana plantations. After you reach Thanjavur, the rice bowl of India, you enter a sea of green paddy field broken only by the narrow road. The drive is sheer pleasure and you feel you are going back in time as you rapidly leave civilization and enter a very sparsely populated agrarian region.

As you near Vailankanni, the geography changes. You can smell the sea air and the earth looks like a lumpy green blanket dotted with lots of small ponds. The bird population too changes and you see a lot of fish eating birds. The land is empty save for a few cattle grazing here and there.

There is a variety of accommodation here, our favorite is the MGM Resort bounded on three sides with green paddy fields and the main road in the front. The view from the room is breathtaking. The IT boom can be seen here too. Air Conditioned busloads of families from Kerala coming in by the hour. Last year a big family joined us as we sat with our drinks on the lawns and it became a big pot luck party. They were a group of techies from Bangalore who had joined together and taken their families from Kerala and come here. And you know when Achayans get together what happens!! Some serious vellam adi :p

An hour of driving towards the south of Vailankanni takes you to Kodikkarai also known as Point Calimere. It is bounded by Bay of Bengal on the East and Palk Straits on the South. The wildlife sanctuary here is home to bluebuck, spotted deer, wild boar, semi wild ponies, bonnet macaque, water birds like flamingoes, ibises, herons and spoonbills. Also some of the endangered reptiles like olive ridley turtles, starred tortoise, vipers and marsh crocodiles. If you go around the evening, you can see the birds returning to the beaches and scrub forests to their nests. A truly wonderful sight, and they are quite tolerant of humans.

The drive itself is a delight. You drive through a forest road with an occasional village in between and on the way you suddenly come across clearings, with the sea on both sides. The sudden appearance of the sea takes your breath away. There is intense security checking here due to the proximity to Sri Lanka. You also get to see a rock with Rama's footprint, as he is suposed to have traversed these forests during his Vanvaas.

What strikes you about this place is the silence...save for bird calls and the sounds of the sea. We stopped near a scrub forest to photograph some birds and saw an old man patiently catching small fishes for dinner in the backwater. He caught about five fishes and then folded his net and walked away. My brother who was talking to him gave him ten rupees, which he declined politely. With a straight face he told my brother that if accepts the ten rupee he will drink and hence reach home late with the fish and then his wife would beat him up :)) If you know Tamil, then you get to enjoy yet another aspect of this land…Tamil humor :)

All around you see birds, that you get to see only on Animal Planet or Discovery Channel… and silence, blessed silence all around. You feel like you are the only people on the planet.

We take the hour-long drive to Point Calimere every year. The year of the Tsunami devastation was the only time we didn’t visit Vailankanni as it was not advisable due to the outbreak of diseases. Somehow down the years, going to Vailankanni has become more than a pilgrimage. It is a time of family bonding and having our otherwise busy Dad all to ourselves. Nothing like walking with him on the beaches of Kodikkarai, listening to his gyan or just being one with Nature’s silence.

(Ideal time of year to visit:December and January)

The Sivakasi of the West

I have heard a lot of derisive comments about India and the Indian IT scene by relations who are settled in the US and are US citizens. They scoff the so-called development saying that we are the sweatshop of the West. Do I smell a hint of uneasiness or are they aware of another reality, something that I don’t see?

We have foreigners arriving at our office everyday. They are picked up from the hotel by the taxis and bought to the office. Some are our US counterparts, some are customers, some are stake holders. Sometimes the Taxis come via a circuitous route to avoid the traffic on the main road. This means going via lower class neighborhoods. Over the years I see less exclamations on the level of poverty and a more accepting attitude. As soon as they land, they are at the office and work systematically to finish their business so that they can go back as soon as possible. There is visible relief at the thought of going back. I don’t blame them. The level of pollution in the air is exhausting and the dust and grime outside can sap even the hardiest among these people. They plow through each day with methodical efficiency so that they can pack as much work as possible during their stay and go back in time. They side step dirt, overflowing sewage lines and crap like practiced veterans, ignore the filth and squalor stolidly and go back the same way they came.

Which is what makes me wonder if we really are a sweat shop of the west. I am not talking of the IT companies and the scores of people working there. I am talking of the whole set up. The rush of investments to Bangalore inspite of poor infrastructure and the resultant overcrowding, lack of basic amenities. Bangalore now reminds me of the Sivakasi, where maximum work would be extracted out of cheap labor with minimum resources. While we enjoy the firecrackers and watch the sparklers as it lights our nights with a thousand stars, we blissfully ignore the filth and squalor in which it was made. And the little children working there and their parents thank their lucky stars for the blessing of a job.

Yes, it definitely reminds me of Bangalore.

Happy Independence Day to all who stumble here...

Peddler of woes

There seems to be a war declared on humanity, by terrorists. The recent uncovering of the mass annihilation plot doesn’t surprise or shock me. What do you expect when you arm and breed terrorists for your selfish purposes and even promote terrorism in some places to meet your economic agenda? And then they express surprise when the snake they have kept as a pet bites them!!

During the US invasion of Afghanistan, the TV footage showed the terrorists handling some very sophisticated regulation army weaponry. How did arms like these and that too in such huge quantities reach these people? There is obviously a munitions industry that makes and supplies arms. Why aren’t they regulated? Why aren’t the raw material used to make arms and ammunitions regulated? If a strict worldwide embargo on Nuclear weapons can be positioned successfully, then why not for munitions?

Instead of the exhausting and costly task of using the army to fight terror why, can’t the countries of the world get together and lay down strict regulations for arms production and sales? Guess that would shut down a lot of arms factories and be a big blow to the western economies.

If an alien were observing us from up above, he would perhaps be befuddled by the species called ‘Humans’. Always fighting, killing, scheming and aggressive over territory, water, religion and just about everything. We seem to thrive on conflicts.

From what I see, it is possible to stop escalating terror if the Western democracies have the political will to do so. You can’t peddle peace and arms in the same shop.

Untouchable

Last week I had to go to Chennai for a day. I took the morning flight and got back by the evening flight. On the way back, the flight was crowded. I had an aisle seat, seated next to me was an elderly lady and on the window seat, sat a foreigner, a white gentleman in saffron robes. As soon as we had boarded the flight and taken our seats, the white man called for the hostess and told her in no uncertain terms that he could not sit next to a woman as it was against his dharma. He had apparently checked in late and couldn’t get a seat of his choice. He asked the hostess to either find a place for him elsewhere or shift the lady to another seat. The helpless girl looked around and could not find any seat for him nor was she able to convince any male passenger to change the seat …maybe because it was a middle seat.

The white man became rather rude and told the hostess that he could not possibly sit next to the woman. I found his behavior appalling. Then he turned to the lady in the middle seat and told her that she should respect his ‘dharma’ and find a seat elsewhere. He went on to admonish her that as an Indian she should respect his ‘brahmacharya’. The poor lady was perplexed, as she was clearly not a regular traveler and got up. By this time I had had enough and told her to sit down. But she was clearly intimidated by the white man who was looking at her like she was a worm. So I told her to sit on my seat and with vicarious glee, I took the middle seat. The sight of the young and hence more ‘sinful’ woman moving next to him incensed the white man, but my don’t-mess-with-me attitude was very evident and he refrained from making anymore noises. I had planned to ‘accidentally’ touch him if he didn’t behave himself. I put my hand on the arm rest deliberately and he shrank away from me as though I was an untouchable. He remained in that position till we landed, cowering against the window like a trapped animal. He even refused the food given because it was offered by a woman and not prepared according to his strict vegetarian beliefs. Throughout the flight he kept his gaze stolidly out of the window.

When the plane landed and came to a halt, he remained seated and waited for people to disembark lest he touch a woman while disembarking I guess. He finally got up, took his cloth bag and walked out from the front exit, ignoring the hostess who stood smiling and wishing people on the way out.

I have met some of the strangest people while flying, but this guy takes the cake er …eggless cake.

Not an ad mad world anymore

This week we had advertising agencies ‘pitching’ for our product launch in some markets abroad.

Going through each presentation, I noticed something striking. Most of the creatives presented were similar. The thoughts were similar and the approach was similar. Not a single agency impressed me. There was not a single out-of-the-box kind of thinking anywhere. I cursed the time I had wasted sitting through the patronizing presentations, the loud laughs at the weakest joke that my boss made and the ingratiating attitude to please.

Nothing much has changed I realized. People still trying to pass off shitty work with well worn platitudes and hyped up PPT presentations. In fact the hype is so arranged that when they reach the part where they show the creatives or the ads, you feel so let down…..like when you open those promisingly puffy Lays packet and find two and a half pieces of potato wafers. In plain words, crap packaged in glitzy materials.

Where have all the copywriters gone? In my team of seven, all seven of us are ex-copywriters. Someone rightly called the drain of advertising talent to IT companies as, ‘talent hemorrhage’.

At present there is no panacea to stop the hemorrhage. Hope the morrow brings better news for the Indian advertising scene. Till then the 'talent hemorrhage' will go on unabated.

The ‘returning’ Malayalees

There is something I have noticed amongst us Malayalees, right from the time I was as a kid. Something strange, that perplexed me very much. On our regular visits to Kerala, we would inevitably bump into a lot of NRK’s who were also down for the vacations like us. Whether it was the usual meeting at Church, weddings or visits, what struck me as strange was a refrain that was said very eagerly the moment you met an NRK. And this was “We are going back in 10 days” or a week or some number. This was perhaps the most common thing you heard from these people. It was said very eagerly, almost as if they were reassuring themselves. The reason it perplexed me was because I knew that all NRKs looked forward to visiting Kerala.

Perhaps the visit sparks off memories of realities that were theirs not so long ago and the thought of returning back to their place of employment is kind of reassuring. I don’t know. I found an interesting article today in
The Hindu. It answers my query somewhat. Any other plausible explanations?

Teachers

Today I saw a couple of lovelorn earthworms, wriggling together in the throes of passion near the kitchen. I picked them up with a dustpan and placed them gently in one of the pots to carry on with whatever they were doing. Hope they give me lots of babies for my pots. Earthworms are good for the earth as they aerate the soil. My maid always looks at me oddly when I do things like these.

It was much later that it struck me that what I had done was a direct result of a lesson taken by a science teacher long time ago in school. I guess all of us have gone through the ‘earthworms are farmers friends’ kind of lessons. What is amazing is that these lessons taught to us during our school days impact our lives even today. And Teachers made a big impression on most of us.

I remember being told regularly to brush my teeth in the night, without much effect. But the day teacher started a lesson on dental hygiene I was more regular at brushing my teeth than the clock. And then lessons in Nutrition...and I finally started taking an interest in vegetables. The lesson on intestinal worms and how they are contracted, made me rabidly fanatic about washing my hands. I still do it religiously. Taking baths daily, combing hair, eating right et al…everything was influenced by lessons and teachers than by a million lectures from my Mom. Such is the power that teachers wield.

I was lucky to have some really good teachers in school. Many of them were unmarried spinsters, totally dedicated to their profession. Many are still serving, the last of the genuine teachers left in the city.

Teaching is a Penguin act. Teachers have to understand complex subjects and regurgitate it so that students understand it. Therefore it is imperative that people with the right aptitude and attitude for the profession be selected for the post. Children emulate teachers sub consciously. Good teachers make for good students and I am not talking about the subject knowledge of the teacher but other subtle things, like the way the teacher interacts with students, the respect or dignity with which he/she handless his/her students.

And lessons in matters like respect for girls etc in school, will go a long way in shaping the way young boys look at girls and women in general. Teaching and school curriculum is a huge opportunity for the government to bring in radical social changes, but how many governments are using that opportunity? Not many I am afraid.

Peddling for fools

What is happening with Radio advertising these days? Consider this IDBI ad I heard today.

Voice over (VO): Sir, what number do you like?
Punjabi Accent: No 9
VO: Sir, what number do you like?
Tamil accent: Aiyyo No 9
And more crap…and finally
VO: Everybody likes No 9 because now IDBI gives you loans at 9% interest


Consider another gem:

Woman 1: XYZ bought jewelry from Ddamas for her wedding
Woman 2: Really??? And where are they going for the honeymoon?
Woman 1: Her hubby wants to go to Timbuktoo but XYZ wants to go to D’damas
*Indulgent laughter from the ladies*

And they call it ‘jewelery for the living”??? It’s more like jewelery for the (brain)dead.

Do these ad makers or the marketing team that approves of these ads really think that we the listeners are that dumb? God, this is an insult to my intelligence and makes me mad. In one fell swoop you are condemning all Bangaloreans as morons.

This is the crap that I get to hear in the car everyday to the office. Nowadays we preempt the ad with our own words and giggle our way to work. Quite a change from the sleepy silence that used to hang like a blanket inside the car. In the process we have all become good friends and have forged a common bond as the car pool fraternity.

Now if that was the intention of the ad maker in the first place then he has succeeded. These atrocious jingles, though an absolute personal attack on your intelligence, grab your attention due to its ludicrousness.

But if I am going to apply for a loan in the near future then I will make sure that I give IDBI the skip, because I don’t want their marketing team to think that the ad has bought them revenues and go ahead and make more such brainsick jingles. And neither am I shopping at D’damas, because they have insulted me and the entire female populace of Bangalore.

Musing

"I wan't afraid of being born, then why should I be afraid of death."

This is what I told a friend when she asked me if I was afraid of death. Come to think of it both are the same isn't it? A journey into the unknown. Now that I am here, let me make the best of it. Dunno if I will get to have a blast after death.

Life and times of an Indian kid

Today we had some visitors over. It was a couple with two kids, a boy and a girl. The children were well behaved. My Dad doesn’t like well behaved children. It’s not like he likes brats, but he hates the regimented children who sit like trained circus animals, answering your questions perfectly. Apart from the mandatory wishing of elders he never believed in strictly controlling our every move. He would rather leave us at home than taking us along when my parents went visiting because he knew that sitting down while the adults made polite conversation was torture for us. My Mom didn’t agree, because she thought we should learn to move around in society. But my Dad was in no mood to make us trained animals. That’s his viewpoint and I know many people will disagree to it. But I am thankful that unlike my friends we didn’t have to go through the painful process of ‘visiting’ people. And for all purposes we have turned out alright.

I cannot but help notice the strange relationship of parents and kids because there are a fair number of young parents in my family circle and among my colleagues and neighborhood etc. From my observations of parents and kids I have noticed something.

From the time the child starts walking he is taught to sit down quietly, behave himself viz do things according to the approval of his parents and not give them to much hassle, do home work, sleep early etc. It is a military barracks kind of life style for most kids nowadays. Parents seem to go through the motions of parenting and kids are trained in such a way that they don’t hassle their parents too much. You rarely see parents and kids sitting together for a game of Scrabble or cards, or parents getting involved in their child’s hobbies or interests. In fact these are discouraged or encouraged with an eye to a career in the same field like say music. How many Dads play football or cricket with their children on a weekend? ( Mine did in case you are wondering) How many families talk?

Most Indian parents I notice, are like caretakers of their kids. Children are herded and directed like sheep in a strictly controlled environment of school, homework, TV sleep routine till they get a job. After which the parents, feeling all accomplished take a break from parenting. And in this routine the child’s individuality, hopes, ambitions, desires etc is mercilessly brushed aside and he becomes just another person joining the workforce, earning a living, paying his house EMI marrying, having kids and restarting the parent/kid cycle.

Just another day

Today I read a thought povoking post by Quills at Save Kerala and the subject is related to something I was planning to write for a long time. Then I decided against it because I thought it was futile to write more about something that all of us read about regularly and have even begun to ignore as it one of those subjects like, outdated laws that does not have an immediate remedy.

But after reading Quills article I thought I will write about an ordinary day in the life of an Indian girl…something that most guys in this country don’t know about.

From the time we girls grow up and start looking like women, life becomes hell. Till then life is carefree, at least for most of us. We learn very early in life that ‘Men” are bad. We are warned about ‘Men” and we learn by experience that these warnings had better be taken very seriously. From walking on the road to shopping, is not a routine activity for us as it is for guys. From the time we step out of the house, our life is fraught with danger. We have to bear with men trying to brush against us, or touch us or follow us, making lewd suggestions, cars slowing and keeping pace with us to have a good look etc. We learn to IGNORE these with practiced efficiency from a young age. We learn to steel ourselves and walk by with our eyes away whenever we pass a group of guys. We learn never to walk alone. Which is why you see girls walking in pairs or in groups. The conditioning begins very early.

Our mothers are on tenterhook from the time we are born to the day we get married. They cannot leave us in the house alone and we rarely move around after dark alone. From birth to grey hair we live on high alert. There are so many unwritten rules and regulations that we have to follow to see that we do not become yet another statistic.

One of my memories from college, is keeping books and files or bags in front of us as a shield and walking, to avoid the painful hits on the chest by men coming from the opposite direction. And this happens daily if you are not alert and it is a painful and humiliating experience. And these are decent looking guys, not the illiterates who are better behaved than their ‘educated’ brethren.

I nearly get run over when I walk on the road by Auto fellows, bikers and car ridden men trying to get their thrill by driving as close as possible to me. And this happens “daily”. And this is not because I am a Miss India look-alike, but because I am a girl. We learn to walk on the footpath because on the road we are open game for bikers to brush past. Our reflexes are razor sharp while driving because of bikers who try to scare us by suddenly coming in front of us making us to brake hard or swerve wildly. And this too happens daily.

When I look at the elderly ladies walking on the road I feel so much envy and I long for that day when I too will walk like them without being brushed against, stared and whistled at. And that is not happening for a long time I know.
For the girls working in IT companies, strict laws against sexual harassment keep us safe. For the girls working in other places, life and career progression is very difficult unless they have the dexterity of a Matador to avoid male colleague’s predatorial designs.

And all this happens in a free, democratic country famed for its family values. This happens in a country where a woman is the honor of the family.

And this my dear gentlemen of this country, is just another ordinary day in us girls lives.

For the women of India who make up 50% of the population, democracy does not exist.

The needle in the haystack

I was watching the Guinness Book of World Record yesterday and one of the amazing feats that they showed was the first successful Craniopagus separation of conjoined twins Vilija and Vatalija Tamulevicius. The procedure was carried out by a Russian surgeon who specializes in brain surgery and later, the reconstruction of their skulls was done by an American surgeon. As I was watching this programme I could not help but feel tremendous admiration for these doctors. They are the Robin Hood and Gulliver’s of modern day world. They fight intricate battles that require skill, presence of mind and oodles of experience.

And then it dawned on me suddenly that had these guys been Indians, they would not stand a chance getting a medical seat let alone acquire the level of expertise they have now. Their skills and aptitude for the profession would be ignored. They would have to buy that seat or be a Reserved Caste person or be lucky to clear the entrance exam from among the multitudes. Their talents would be lost to the world because being a doctor is just another job in this country. And because it is just another job, just about everybody wants to be a doctor. And in this melee many people genuinely interested in being doctors and treating people are lost.

This is not a rant about Reservation. If there are people in the reserved category who can make good doctors then more power to them. I for one frankly don’t care whether my doc is high caste or low caste. When it comes to my health I want someone who knows what he is doing and is sincere about helping me. But let’s face it, when I go to a doctor today all I see is an individual who was lucky to get that seat while the doctor regards me as just another consultation fee and if he is business savvy then more money by sending patients to cooperative labs and hospitals for unnecessary medical tests and caesareans. It is an unhealthy vicious cycle.

How many of us will here go to an unknown doctor without enquiring about him or being referred by someone who trusts him? He is an MBBS and is registered under IMA. Then why do we hesitate? Because we are not certain about the doctor and his intentions or his antecedents. Because have heard horror stories of doctors who overcharge or kill or maim their patients. We do not trust a doctor implicitly. Ironic isn’t it that a man who has cleared his exams and is a certified doctor has to pass another test i.e. the trust of the people? If the selection of medical students was fair and based on merit and aptitude then all of us would blindly trust anyone with a Dr. prefixed to his name.


The fact that I am sitting here in good health and typing this post hoodwinking my boss into thinking that I am writing a brochure is because there is a Doctor Mathew who makes sure of that. A man who is perhaps more qualified to be a doctor than most of his brethren because ‘medicine’ is not a mere profession for him and the crowd that throng his clinic is testimony to that fact. His consultation charge was only Rs 10/- till protests by patients like me made him revise it rather apologetically to Rs. 20/- for people who can pay. For the poor he gives free medicine or charges a token fee. The result? He gets a plethora of patients with all kinds of problems that an upmarket physician will never see in his lifetime gaining him experience and expertise far beyond what most doctors will get in their entire lifetimes.

Another doctor nearby, sits swatting flies because he charges Rs 50 for consultation alone because of the word MD after his name. Guess who makes more money? Guess who takes his profession as a calling and who takes it as a mere money spinner?

Ask those doctors joining Call Centers by the drove where they failed. They will give you many reasons but if they were to only act as doctors and not business men by taking a genuine interest in their patients and lowering their consultation fees, maybe, just maybe they could have survived as GP’s. But most of these gentlemen are in a hurry to make money and end up frustrated when that doesn’t happen. Today doctors who have climbed down their high horses and charge lower consultation fees are doing well. Because there are patients out there, enough for every doctor to make a decent living that is if they are willing to be satisfied with a decent living.

But then you cannot blame them entirely can you? He joined this profession because it was a job and not because medicine excited him or the thought of alleviating people’s suffering moved him.

Counting my blessings

“Women have been the bane of my professional life and men of my personal life”
SP

This eloquent sentence was uttered by my friend SP as we sat talking about nothing in particular.

What she meant was that she had hell with women bosses in her professional life and some really mean men in her personal life like her father and husband.

SP always speaks from the heart, as you can see from that quote above and nurtured that habit in me when I, as a rather wet behind the ears trainee copywriter was placed under her charge. SP was my Creative Director and mentor and the most beautiful person at heart I have ever met. Within a month of joining the agency she removed the ‘trainee’ tag and made me a regular Copywriter, even though I would drop into the agency only on Saturdays. She is an amazingly talented lady and now serves in a ‘Communications’ post in an IT company like most ex copywriters. Her exit from the advertising scene is a huge loss for the ad world, a world which is not even aware of it, or if they are aware, they don’t care. We became the best of friends despite the difference in our age. The friendship continues to this day and it is something that I never forget to thank God for.

SP was the force behind ‘Poomanam’. She is the one who pushed me into blogging. She would watch me goofing around in the agency, making caricatures of ads and people in our weekly newsletter and would tell me, “You must blog”. When I asked her why, she would say “A blog is the perfect medium for you. You are spontaneous and do not follow any fixed pattern in anything …you do your own thing and blogging will give you the freedom to write without censure that you crave so much. So for a person like you a blog is the perfect medium.”

In fact she suggested “freespirit’ as a name for my bog, which I ‘characteristically’ turned down. She was not surprised! :p

When I finally made my blog under the name ‘Poomanam’, she said dryly ‘ I don’t think even God could have guessed it!”

She monitors every single post of mine and gives her comments quickly and mercilessly, but with a clause… that I don’t react to criticism or praise. In my profession where writing dry marketing collaterals can sap even the most gifted individual, blogging has recharged me and kept the creative part in me alive. I may not be the best, I may be the worst, but I can proudly say today that I have always written for myself.


I realize that over the years, I have adopted her as my elder sister and like close biological siblings I can trust her blindly. She is Gods compensation for not giving me a sister. I have always admired the bond between my mom and her sisters. They are always there for each other through thick and thin and I realize that I would never have that because I don’t have a sister. The bond between sisters is very unique.

SP is also the only person besides my elder brother who can give me a ticking off when I do something that may not be potentially right. Between the two of them they have managed to give me enough freedom to do what I like, reserving the right to intervene when they think fit. And it is these two people, whose judgment I trust implicitly.

Today I am counting my blessings and SP I am sure you were my sister in my last birth, because I cannot think of plausible explanation for the kind of relationship we have.

Thank you!

Prepared with love

Angel Doc tagged me. I am supposed to list ten dishes that I miss from my moms cooking. However since I live with my parents I will list ten things that is my favorite amongst her preparations.

My Mom is a workaholic. She loves to putter around the house and will be doing something even when she is watching TV …like cleaning garlic, or skinning baby onions or knitting/embroidery. You will never see her idle for one minute. She is the first to get up in the morning and last to sleep in the house. She has enormous amount of energy and spends all that energy into looking after the house and cooking for us. She has an envious collection of Cookery Books many of them sent by one of her sister abroad, besides the Tarla Dalals, Thangam Philips, Karen Anands etc.

I think I get the stubborn streak to master stuff from her. She doesn’t mind walking into restaurant kitchens and asking for recipes and would attend every single cookery course in town when were little kids. And then she would try out what she had learnt at home. You can call her a Jack of all cuisines, master of some :)

However it is her naadan cuisine that I like best, because she makes it the traditional way. She still uses the grinding stone (the maid does the grinding though) and she cooks everything from scratch. This means dry roasting the Coriander Seeds and Chillies etc. and then grinding it to a fine paste on the grinding stone.

So some of the stuff she makes that I love are…

Kerala Egg Curry

This is made with coconut milk and the main flavoring is Aniseeds. I like it with lots of potatoes. As a kid I was a fussy eater with no appetite, but this curry would somehow stimulate an appetite in me :) It still remains my all time favorite with rice. This doubles up as an accompaniment for Appams too.

Payasam

She will sit for hours stirring the third extract of coconut milk, then the second and then the first, the traditional way to make the most delicious prathaman. Whether it is pal payasam or prathaman, she makes it just perfect.




Kuzhalappam

This is another back breaking thing to make if you are doing it the traditional way. Rice is soaked, powdered and roasted and flavored with garlic and coconut and rolled out into discs which are folded into a cylinder and deep fried to make a thin and very crispy savory snack. Yum!!

Fish Curry


The traditional Kerala fish curry with coconut milk and kudampulli. No matter how much I try, it never comes out the way she makes it.





Jackfruit and Tapioca

She makes the most wonderful jackfruit and tapioca preparation which is a main course that you eat with her yummy Fish Curry or Kerala style Beef Curry in coconut milk. *drool*





Vattayappam
Mom uses tender coconut for this melt in the mouth cottony delicacy. And she makes it with both Jaggery and Sugar as my brothers like it with sugar while me and Dad prefer the traditional jaggery sweetening. For Maundy Thursday she makes these vattayappams with a Cross, cut out of the Palm that is distributed on Palm Sunday. Dad cuts the appam after the Maundy Thursday service and it is eaten with the traditional Pesaha Paalu. This denotes the bread and wine that Jesus shared with his disciples. This tradition is enacted in all mallu Catholic homes as a re enactment of the Last Supper.

Christmas Cake
She is an expert in making Xmas cake. I do the honor of making the wine every January so that it is ready by December. The dried fruits for the cake are bought in October and we all help to cut the dried fruits, which is then kept in a plastic container with a bottle of rum poured over. By first week of December it would be ready to be added to the Cake. The cake would be traditionally made in the first week of December, as it crumbles when cut soon after baking. After Christmas Mass, the cake would be cut and then only do we open the Christmas presents. It takes oodles of will power to keep off the cake till then. But then Mom cheated and made a small one for us to have before Christmas day :) This cake stays forever and ever if prepared hygienically. Every bite is sinfully rich loaded with raisins, figs, dates and other goodies soaked in rum.

Tandoori Chicken
I am not very partial to baked goodies so I will bypass the Cakes and Bakes and go into the meatier section of this tag :) My mom marinates the meats for our barbecues and the marinade is the best I have tasted. Her Tandoori Malai chicken is world famous in our house.



Chicken Biryani

My Moms good friend, a Mangalorean Muslim lady taught her to make Biryani. And my Mom makes it really well. It is the typical Bangalore Biryani and not the Hyderabad type where rice and meat is layered and cooked. The Bangalore Biryani has a strong taste of garlic and the ingredients are cooked together. Delicious with Raita.




Appam and Stew

My Mom makes the softest Appams. She makes it the traditional way, i.e with Kallu which is freely available in Bangalore. If the Kallu is not available then she uses Bakers Yeast and never dried yeast. Since we are a big family, Appam making is a collective effort. A four burner stove and four Appam chatis makes sure that no one has to wait. I get mine with an egg on top :)



All this is making me hungry, so let me tag a few people to do this mouthwatering tag before I go in for dinner.

I tag Mind Curry, Ganja Turtle, Aashik, Dhanush, Pophabhi, Jiby and Mathew

You dont have to post pictrures guys, just a mouthwatering description will do. Heck...you just have to describe, we will do the mouthwatering :)) :)

Little somethings about myself :)

I took up this rather interesting Tag from Aashik.

1. How tall are you?

5' 6"
2. Do you own a gun?

Does a water gun count?

3. Rehab? Counseling?

Yes please, I need rehab and counseling for "overwork" :(

4. Have you ever killed an animal?

No

5. Are you Irish?

I can be anything you want me to be baby ;)

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

Yummy with my additional garnishings

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?

O Holy Night

8. What is your favorite smell?

Mangoes and Jackfruit :)

9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Tea

10. Do you do push ups?

Yes... I push myself up from bed every morning :p

11. Have you ever done ecstasy?

The drug: No... but the feeling I have experienced many times ...like when I get my Salary :)

12. Have you been shot?

With a camera... many times

13. Have you ever been hospitalized?

Yeah

14. Do you like pain killers?

Yes, when I am in pain :p

15. What is your secret weapon to lure in your preferred sex?

It won't be a secret if I reveal it would it? ;)

16. Do you own a knife?

Plenty

17. Do you have A.D.D?

If it is Attention Deficit Disorder..then my teachers would say “Yes!!!”

18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?

I don’t have one and am not gonna get one. The pain my mom would bring me would be far more excruciating than the pain of the needle brrrr

19. Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink:

Water. Tea. ,Coffee., Musambi Juice, Milk, Lassi

20. What's In Your CD Player?

Yanni

21. Who is your best friend?

Aiyyo!!! You want me to get lynched?

22. What's Under Your Bed?

My doggies, till I am asleep, then they get on the bed and push me under :(

23. Current Hair?

I am having a bad hair day grrrrrrrrr

24. What are you wearing?

Jeans and Tees, today is Friday yipeeee!!!!

25. Current worry?

I have several deadlines today, Sales Newsletters, Customer Newsletters, Internal Newsletter, Dealer Newsletter... shall I go on? *bawl*

26. Current Love?

My neighbors Labrador puppy

27. Current Hate?

The monsters who blew up the Mumbai trains!!

28. Favorite Place To Be?

Home!

29. Least favorite place to Be?

On the road when it is raining.

30. If You Could Play an Instrument, what would it be?

Violin

31. Favorite Colors?

Blue, Green and anything according to my mood

32. Person From Your Past You Wish You Could be with Right Now?

Sunitha, my best friend and my Grandpa

33. Where Would You Like To Go?

Home, wish I could stay at home today.

34. Where do you want to live?

At home now, later near my parents.

35. Favorite food?

Anything Mom makes, plus Italian, Chinese and Salads

36. Color of most clothes you own?

Black, Browns, Reds etc

37. Number of pillows you sleep with?

Two

38. What do you wear when you go to sleep?

Shorts and Tees in summer and Pajama set other wise.

39. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Bunking classes and having loads of fun!!!

40. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?

Probably working full time in my Dad’s business.

41. Are you paranoid?

In certain matters...yes

42. First piercing/tattoo?

At age 8 months I think. Got my ears pierced.

43. Last person you yelled at?

My doggy for rushing in and out of the room, and getting entangled in the computer wires.

44. Latest crush?

Crushed some peppers today :p

45. Last thing you ate?

Breakfast

46. If you could be a pirate, would you?

Oh yes!!!

47. Do you have an Ipod?

Yeah!

49. What's in your pockets right now?

Nothing...pants too tight :p

50. What color are your bedroom walls?

Shell pink

51. Last thing that made you laugh?

A sarcastic remark on Achumama by my Dad

52. Any pets now?

Three dogs

53. Inny or an outty?

Dunno what this means.

54. Do you have any piercing?

Ears

55. If you were a crayon what color would you be?

Pink

56. Have you ever won any awards?

Yes

57. How many TV's do you have in your house?

Four

58. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches?

Broke my hand once.

59. If you could live next door to any one person of your choosing, who'd it be?

My relations in Kerala. I want them closer.

60. If you could have any one wish granted, what would it be?

That all terrorists blow themselves up with the explosives they are carrying

61. If you could pick one person to make out with who would it be?

Someone I love

62. What do you think of the person who posted this before you?

He is my blogpal whom I harass from time to time on Google chat :)

63. Your Screen Name?

Silverine

64. What's your middle Name?

Teresa

( anybody who laughs at No. 64 will meet with a gory end I PROMISE grrrr)

:)

Home is where the heart is...

Down the street from where I live, live an old couple. Mr and Mrs George. After retirement they had settled down in Bangalore, as their children were studying here. Uncle is 86 years old. Aunty died last month. They have lived a better part of their retired life alone after their kids migrated to the US. Since there are so many mallu families in my area, they never felt the pinch of not having anyone around them. Then age began to catch up and soon, they were unable to go out and visit friends and relatives or for their evening strolls.

A son came back and arranged for an elderly Anglo Indian lady to look after them. We rarely saw them out as they were mostly confined to the house. On our visits to check on them, they would talk wistfully of Kerala, their childhood and happy times there. Uncle used to regale us so many stories about his childhood, the thrilling adventures that he and his friends embarked on and the naughty childhood pranks. Their ardent wish was to be buried there, next to their parents and siblings. But that was not possible as they had left their village many decades ago. A visit to Kerala was ruled out because they were too frail for the journey. Aunty and Uncle's last wish was always to go back to their village one last time.

Nowadays when I go for my evening walks with the dogs, I can see Uncle hunched in front of the TV or being served dinner. I drop in from time to time with some Pavakkai thoran …uncles favorite and his eyes will light up. He hates the soup, the lady makes. When I say my byes shouting goodnight into his ears, I feel so helpless to see the loneliness in his eyes. When I got back from Kerala last month, he was so excited to hear about the place. I didn’t tell him of the rampant construction and fast vanishing greenery. I told him that the place was the same and his bleary eyes glazed as he imagined the Kerala of his childhood and youth.

For aunt’s funeral, there was a large contingent of relatives from Kerala to bid her final farewell. After the funeral I did what I like most, i.e. walk around the peaceful cemetery. The place is so well kept with so many trees. The atmosphere is peaceful. There is a fair sprinkling of mallu names on the tombstones. People who had left their home and hearth many years ago to find work, respect, dignity and a productive life outside their home state, wistfully hoping to return in their lifetime.

How many such dreams are buried here I wonder.