I was watching an old Hindi movie on TV yesterday. I remember having seen it before many years ago. I love watching old movies. It is interesting to see the cities and towns as they looked those days. Mallu movies disappoint because most of them were shot in studios and the backgrounds are almost always painted on. I saw an old mallu song programme the other day and Prem Nazir was singing in the Nilgiri’s. I was wonder struck at the sight of Nilgiri’s some 40 years ago!!! Infinitely more beautiful than how it looks today even though the movie was black and white. I felt like stepping into the screen and going back in time. How I long to go back in time, to see how our great great grandparents lived. The quaint customs, costumes and the simple homes and empty roads. These old movies are the only vistas we have left of days gone by.
I have always been very intrigued by the romance scenes in these movies. In fact you see such scenarios in the movies of today also. Guy meets a gal or notices her and there is instant attraction. The attraction turns to love even though they meet but rarely and soon they are willing to lay down their lives for each other. This happens all the time in real life too. It is happening all the time in my company. And this is something that I could never understand. People fall in love out of mere attraction and then get married. How can you fall in love with a person at first sight? Or fall for how a person looks. I would never be able to do that.
Look at the way we make friends. We tend to gravitate towards people with common interests and thoughts and people whom we are comfortable with. But when it comes to love, we do just the opposite.
I have met beautiful people who are quite ugly inside once you get to know them and vice versa. It is not like I categorize people as black and white only. But this is what most of us see in the other sex. We never take a holistic view. I think people have the black and white and the grey in them and it is this that makes up a person. And I feel one must know what is black and white and grey in another human being to be able to know the person well. It is when you know and are able to accept the black and white and grey in another human being that true love blossoms. And this love will be enduring because you like this person for what he/she is and there are very few startling surprises. But such a scenario can only happen if we let guys and girls mingle freely before marriage naah? But no, our parents/society prefers to keep the sexes segregated leading to so much conflict in young people’s lives. I am not espousing inter religious or inter culture marriages here. That is left to the people involved in the relationship. But even within our own communities, I think young people should be allowed to meet freely. In fact the Catholic Church has started such a movement in Kerala my cousin informs me.
Maybe my analysis is stupid and skewed and immature but I have seen too many friends, both males and females fall in love because ‘she looked cute’ or ‘he looked like a hunk’. And then after some time the obsession with looks gets over and realities a.k.a. personalities begin to come to the fore wreaking mayhem in a relationship that was based on physical attraction only.
We are such an immature nation/people in romance. When relationships are increasingly becoming fragile the society should device ways to strengthen it and not hold onto old beliefs and prejudices. And the society is us. When you and me change our attitude and stop bitching and stop others bitching when they see a boy and a girl together, the general attitude of the whole society will change.
( Today another such 'love story' fell apart and hence the rant :p)