Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Jo bola wohi Sikandar

Venue: His room. “He” and “She” ( a senior colleague and friend) are getting well...err cozy!

He: err hmm you know…now that we are well...kissing and all, I think we should go all the way...
She: mmm I don't know…
He: C’mon we are engaged and getting married next month.
She: hmmm I am not sure. I have never done it before you know!
He: Me too! But what’s the harm...we are merely preponing the inevitable heh heh
She: I am a little scared...
He: Don’t worry! I have protection.
She: Protection! Why would you keep that here?
He: Well...
She: *gasp* Did you take it for granted that I would say "Yes”!!!!
He: Hey it’s not like that. I just thought it would happen someday and...
She: So was all this an orchestration towards the grand finale on the bed????
He: No!!! Absolutely not…..
She: How could you be so cold and calculating???
He: Listen honey…

She walks off angrily!!

Yours truly and fellow single females at work couldn’t stop giggling because we did not know what else to do, but it sounded soooo funny! So we all went out and got drunk *hic* and laughed some more while "She" seethed in anger and resentment! I am going to sleepover the hangover so that when I get up I can better appreciate the humor in the situation. But what happened next at this watering hole after her "revelation" was, even more well...see for yourself.

Girl 1: OMG!! I didn’t expect this from HIM!!!
Girl 2: Chill yaar! "It" must belong to his roomies!
Girl 3: Or maybe he was just stocking it you know, for the wedding!
Girl 1: *snort* The wedding is a good two months away. It would expire by them surely!
Girl 4: These things have expiry date also?
Girl 2: I don't know but I am sure there must be!
Girl 1: You must do a rethink yaar now that you have come to know all this about him.
She: *sniff*
Girl 2: Chill yaar! What’s so earth shaking about a guy buying a "you know what" in anticipation of something happening. I think he was being very considerate!
Girl 4: Yes!!! I agree!! He doesn’t want her to get pregnant!
Girl 1 (sarcastically): You are a genius!
Girl 4: What brand was it?
She (shrieking): What?????
Girl 4: I said what brand was it?
She: #$%@^
Girl 4 (muttering to herself): What did I say!
Girl 3: hmmm give him the benefit of the doubt. He was just playing safe!
Girl 4: Playing safe? But... they haven’t done it yet no?
Everyone except “She”: LOL!!!
Girl 4: heh heh why are you all laughing?
She (angrily): Exactly what I was trying to say! He was taking me for granted *sob* Like I am a cheap slut *sniff*
Girl 2: If he thought you were a cheap slut he wouldn’t be marrying you naah? Relax! He just jumped the gun that’s all.
Girl 4: “Jumped the gun” ha ha ha!!!
She: Exactly! He thought he could make the decision for me!!! Bah!!
Girl 1: Guys!! I tell you! They are like chameleons!
Girl 4: Yep! You are right! One day red color the next day green color! Bah!!!
Everyone except “She”: ROTFL!
Girl 4: Why are you all laughing?
Girl 1 to Girl 4: Did you mean to say one day Strawberry and the other day Green Apple?! :))
Everyone: ROFL!
Girl 4: *clueless look*

Everybody…including “She” were by now rolling in their seats laughing their innards out.

Hope the ad guys who make “those” ads are reading this and target a vital section of the society that this blogger belongs to, who have no clue to a lot “things” about “that” you know! I am serious!

p.s isn’t it a trifle dangerous to be delivering bonny babies via a puny Stork? Just saying!


Narayan said...

Now thats one big cautionary tale!
Thanks Anjali! :-D

nickdigital said...

lol .. Hilarious !!! n interesting .. dunno wat else to say :P ..

Anonymous said...

haha....hilarious! typical girl talk! :-)

Anu Pillai

silverine said...

Narayan: lol!! :p

Nickdigital: This is gal talk and you did the right thing by not saying anything wise man, as there is not much to say here :)

Anu Pillai: Thanks sistah! :)

Deepti said...

Hilarious ... :D

Aswathy Menon said...

Absolutely hilarious!! :D Girl 4 is me I guess!

Jiby said...

lol...too good...the companies certainly are not doing their colourful products any good. :))

reading this post, i was suddenly reminded of a story that my old history teacher told us on how a family planning scheme in a kerala village failed. can't write that down here as i have decided to save it up for future use.

mathew said...


thank god that I dint hear anyone trying to blow birthday balloons..!

A guy said...

""Guys!! They are like chameleons! One day red color the next day green color!"

ROTFL! That was classic!!!!

Kavi said...

LOL solverine..I think he was only being realistic here. May be he wanted to practise the usage. :-). The same girl would have told her friends 2 months later that her hubby didn't know how to use it. Does this things come with a user manual? After all it may not be too difficult.(No, no, I am not an expert here.)

@Jiby are you talking about a wrong usage story. someone demoed it using their thumb and the villages religiously followed it by having in on their thumbs. but I have heard this about some north indian village

philip said...

"She" has some really empathetic friends :p
"have no clue to a lot “things” about “that” you know" - come on, who are we kidding here? :)

silverine said...

deepti: ;)

Aswathy: Thank you! She is a simpleton. I doubt you would relate to her! :)

jiby: I am eagerly waiting for that post and I mean that!!!! :)

Mathew: We are not kids anymore...lol!

A guy: :)

Kavi: Well none of us are experts here...and this group fell in that category too! :) And that joke about the villagers was so funny!

Philip: lol!! And with that you sidestepped commenting on the post. Neat! :p :

Amey said...

And boys used to think that girly sleepovers meant only pillow-fights. This is much better :D

That said, can you tell me at exactly what point did "he" go from the guy-she-is-getting-married-to to cold and calculating to chameleon? Wow, does alcohol lubes up those thinking gears or what ;)

P.S. G1 seems to know a lot, while G4 is largely ignorant. Tell us you are neither one :D

g-man said...

ummm...am i the only one here who doesn't get it?

p.s. could you please write a book on girls and maybe post it to me? i'd appreciate that, thanks

Philip said...

You got me there. Very smart! So that means I have to comment.

I feel sorry for the guy. I mean, all he wanted was a good, old-fashioned romp! And I don't know where the ambiguity comes from - getting laid(and food) is all that guys think about. Everything else is just a way of getting there. If girls were to just understand this in its plain, direct meaning, half the problems would be solved :))

Besides, I think you girls just needed an excuse to get sloshed :D Half the fun in drinking is hearing your buddies bitch about life.

Sabarinath C said...

As a regular reader of your blogs, am I correct in guessing that you are Girl 4?

ap said...

Never knew girls discussed the flavours also ;)

Anonymous said...

LOL..the "Men are from Venus" comment is a corollary to "Why Men don't listen and Women can't read maps". In this case, the Woman was not listening..LOL


PS: can I blogroll you. I fond your blogs quite funny.

Thomas said...

Maybe "He" wanted to know the purity of mind of "She", hehe. Well, well, nice to get a sneak peek into a girls-talk. And these things have expiry date??, never knew that.

silverine said...

Amey: Girly sleepovers are pillow-fights "only" and nothing else, sorry to disappoint you! :p

g-man: A book on gals will have to be written by a guy :)

Philip: Your comment just jolted me out of my romantic notions for the zillionth time and reminded me that men are from Mars and women are from Venus who think that men are from Mills and Boons :)

Sabarinath: If I was one among the participants I would have clearly said so.

AP: We don't actually and that part was clearly gathered from advertisements. There is a general lack of interest among girls in this subject and this conversation was triggered by the incident :)

Anon: Thank you! I don't write humor in this blog. This was an incident which had a touch of humor in it :) Honored to be blogrolled. You haven't left a link or name.

Thomas: Glad to see that you enjoyed the girl talk. Way to go Sir, you will be a hit with the ladeez :)

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Suppose now our harmless 'he' had said to himself,"Oh, I musn't offend my fiance by storing a condom in my own room because she might think I thought her a slut." Then, "She" and "he" meet in his room. Same setting. Slightly different turn of events:

She: err hmm you know…now that we are well...kissing and all, I think we should go all the way...
He: mmm, I'd love to but I don't know…
She: C’mon we are engaged and getting married next month.
He: That seems to be the case indeed. But, you see, I don't have 'it' with me you know!
She: What?!?!
He: I was a little scared of offending you...
She: Offending me?!?! You are a man of 30, don't you have hormones jumping about?!
He again: Don’t worry! I'll run to the nearest grocery store and get 'it'.
She: But today is a Sunday!!
He: Well...
She: *gasp* Are you even a man? Do these things have to be told to you? After all, its your OWN ROOM, so why can't you just have a pack with you? I thought guys do this thing all the time.
He: Hey it’s not like that. I just thought it would hurt you
She walks off angrily!!

Amey said...

Believe me, pillow-fights won't disappoint anybody. Ask any boy you know ;)

But seriously, was this "escalation" just the result of alcohol or serious thoughts?

viggy said...

ROFL!Just cant help laughing.. Didnt have a clue about such ..lol.. awesome converstaions happening..Very nice account!!