Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The ideal man

Who would be my ideal man? This was the topic of conversation last Saturday between us friends. Each of decided to give this topic a really really wild shot. No holds barred kind of expectations from our future mates. ( guys pleej to note this point)

I am not a teenager anymore, when your idea of the ideal man would be a judicious mix of the looks of a romantic star with a body of an action hero and the sense of humor of a comedian. So my shot at the ideal man was very ‘wild’ too but in a different way. Here’s my take:

My ideal man would have had a live in arrangement with a gal for at least a year. (Freshers need not apply.) The one year would have made him fairly used to living with a gal and it would have smoothed out the rough edges off him. He would of course be over the girl too by the time he becomes my ideal man :p ( It would be just like being gifted with a cute puppy that is housebroken and trained, my idea of a perfect gift!)

There was pin drop silence when I let out this piece of information and then lots of “What!!!!!!” and “Are you crazy?!!??!”. Then strangely enough there was a grudging acceptance of my view of an ideal man. After all we were being wild and not boringly serious weren’t we? The girls still had the age old feeling of distaste at the thought of a man who had already lived-in with another woman. But the more we talked about it, the more the idea became palatable to the crowd. Suddenly the girls began seeing more and more advantages in such a guy.

Ok I admit that maybe subconsciously I am trying to do away with the first few difficult months in a relationship when a guy has to be housebroken (:p). (yeah girls I can see the nodding of heads).

As the gals warmed up to the idea some brilliant suggestions started pouring out. For example, one bright soul in the group hoped that that her ideal guy would be used to helping his ex putting mehendi on her hair as she finds it difficult to do it on her own, another hoped that her ideal man would have been taught by his ex to put nail polish on her toes, yet another gal wanted him to be thoroughly coached in cooking by his ex…. and there is more. One gal wanted her ideal to be trained by his ex in aerobics and another in pole dancing. By this time we were rolling on the floor laughing. I shall refrain from revealing some of the ahem…other talents the girls wanted in their ideal guy.

I for one am happy that we had that talk session. It was liberating in a sort of way because from a hesitant start the girls got really creative ( the Breezers helped). And after the discussion as it always happens with us, we fell into a collective silence, as we ruminated on the fact that each of us had a personality of our own and based on that we had some idea of the kind of man we would like to spend our lives with… and the sobering fact that for most of us, an arranged marriage awaited in the distant future.

But till then we are gonna party!!! :p

(Penned this in-flight on my lappie with a weirdo sitting next to me trying desperately to peep into my lappie)


Jagan said...

there was a tamil movie with similar concept .. the hero and heroine decide to live together for 100 days ...and if they liked it , they will continue to live together ..else the deal is off ..

b v n said...

if guys have the same discussion,

"whats your idea of a perfect wife"

"" - silence of five minutes *if you delete all those mother jokes*


"dude...after nine you only get beer..lets go"

evbody - "lets go"

Alexis said...

If all the gals want guys with experience and if the guys want gals with experience, then the hue and cry against premarital sex would go as it becomes a must to have qualification in the resume. So more experienced a person, the more qualified and eligible he/she would become... perfect. Have you been reading Irving Wallace lately?

Aerobics and pole dancing!!! OMG what are they for? And I can imagine the other talents :-)

Nice and daring post... Hope you get a lot of applications from guys with enough experience... LOL

BTW, you should have asked the weirdo sitting next to you and probably would have been got lucky :-))))))

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

cooking - yes.
pole dancing - yes.

does that qualify?

Ajith said...

Aerobics and poledancing :).. Good that she didnt ask for an olympic gymnast.. And yeah, didnt u show this article to that weirdo ? He would have given u a spot offer :) ...

Btw, idealisms are not practical..Better settle for a compromise :)

Pradeep said...

I know a guy and a girl who lived together for three-four years, discovered each other fully and decided to get married. In one year flat, they separated because mother-in-law kept commenting on the girl's dress.

Marriage has been saved mercifully, as they now live away from parents.

Experience and trial are one thing. Finding new and specific solutions to new and specific problems are another. Experience can only help, but they aren't a solution in themselves.

iyer education said...

i really dont think any guy would get close to even understanding a woman in one year... that must be like on the job training period for guys... and the woman always behaves coyly and nicely in this period... she then shows her real roop in about 3-4 years :P

make the period like 5-10 years and you'd probably find someone who's gone thru all the rough surfaces of being with a woman...(he being alive is the wone yand wonly proof that you would need in that case)

LI said...

Can you give me the address of the gal whose job profile is "another gal wanted him to be thoroughly coached in cooking by his ex?" . Of course , my resume will fit in . :)

Kautilya said...

1 year!? u sure r kiddin!
1 year 2 smoothen the edges? wow.. u r one heck of an optimistic gal!

All the best!

silverine said...

Jagan: Interesting!

bvn: lol :))

alexis: LOL Thank you :) I was talking of exp in all depts :p
"Have you been reading Irving Wallace lately?" No comments ;)
And 'weirdos need not apply" :))

toothlesswonder: What about the living in? :)

Ajith: :And yeah, didnt u show this article to that weirdo ? He would have given u a spot offer" How do you know that,you know him?

"Btw, idealisms are not practical..Better settle for a compromise" You speaking from experience? Or else hold your peace :)

Pradeep: Well said, I have seen one relationship falter after 7 years of being toegther from college, I guess ultimately it is the effort you put in that matters.

iyer education: rofl :))

Lijo: Ok, but what about the living-in part? :)

kautilya: Optimism, that's what I am living on these days :P

LI said...

Let us discuss this in Detail , think the profile can be customised :) ? LOL

Kusum said...

Oh I would pleej to add to that the ideal man would be a guy who has dated an extremely loony female, that way he doesn't die of shock when he starts dating me :D

Mind Curry said...

damn! lost my comment again!

anyway here it is again..

i think the guy next to you got really interested after seeing your post title..and perhaps thought you were giving him some hint! :D

i shall now begin a search for any weirdos who have posted on their blog sites, about their inflight experiences with a gal who decided to bare it all to him inflight..i mean..bear him inflight..i mean..err..

p.s. i shall let you know incase i do find him..relax :P


Fleiger said...

House-trained husband? Ouch...

And do you think any person living with a girl would be over her? Girls are so bad room-mates???

Fleiger said...

Oh, forgot to mention, a girl writing something about her perfect man... can you blame the poor guy wanting to read what it is about?

Riggs said...

Okie dokie, here we go!

Married Once - Yes

Lived with someone for 2 and a half years (other than the married once) - Yes

Can Cook (Eggs etc) - Yes

Sense of humour - Yes

Likes blogs - Yes

Has smooth edges - I am in shape. Round is a shape without edges, so Yes.

Experience with mehendi - No.

Experience with nail polish - Marginal

Aerobics - Pls. refer earlier point @ Round is a shape

Pole Dancing - Pls. define Pole. One can dance like a stripper, but not like one of Polish descent.

Goddamn - I'm perfect! :P

silverine said...

Lijo: Perfect, let me know when you have customised yourself to the requirements :p

kusum: Yet another requirement added to the list...at this rate we will be left with only Superman who will fit the bill :))

mind curry: lol I hope he doesn't blog :))

fleiger: The weirdo was around 50 year old wearing a Safari Suit :)) And the rate at which relationships are breaking up, I think one year is a decent period.

Riggy: rofl good one...I have heard that second marriages are very successful :)

emmanuel said...

i'll take other case also....means a guy also prefering a girl who's lived with a guy to know more abt the guy.......

BOY1 lives with GIRL1 for a year...BOY2 lives with GIRL2 for a year...."makes out" everything.....

then BOY1 marries GIRL2...BOY2 marries GIRL1.......what is this man??
"Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehnaa" directed by Silverine?????? ;)( i've not seen the movie)

anyway the thot is nice....but don't know whether it is practical in our kind of society.....i think it's really tough......

u disappointed me with "freshers do not apply".....i'm always ready.....just go wild....that's it... ;)

u must have showed this to that weirdo.....he will not peep further in his life.....

Ajith said...

"How do you know that,you know him?" -- It was me ( just kidding :) )

"You speaking from experience? Or else hold your peace" ..
-- Be it whatever field,not nescessarily this husband/wife idealism , you would never get an ideal partner/job/career or whatever it is..Even if you realise a person to be ideal, u'll find out later that he/she was not that ideal ..Yes, its my experience..but not in the marriage/live-in front.

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

Dear Madam,
Please refer to the clarification that you had sought in my resume.

I am afraid i dont fit that requirement completely. However, mentioned below are a few points which i think are related.

* shared an apartment for sometime with a couple of girls while in college. <-(period.)

* came out of a relationship without a heartbreak on either side

* discovered that one doesnt FALL in love - one grows into it.

* Am single [;)]

Please consider these, and let me know your thoughts.


PS: i think i should qualify by the pole dancing point alone!

Fleiger said...

Oh no, that's bad. Then again, if a handsome hunk was looking at your PC, you wouldn't have complained, right? Or would you have?

der Bergwind said...

boy! guess they shud include 'em all in the curriculum :) thatz quite a list n true man1 wit the fast n furious life who has time for house breaking.. hope junta considerz the alarm n safety systemz as well during the sessionz..

so its all rolling stones who wud sumwhere get in2 holy matrimony n display the skillz of a swiss knife:)
for the simplicities of life no takerz? lemme know if sum openingz come up:) n won roll out with 2 yearz of work ex. we in the automobile sector aint in2 attrition! fresh n honest.. just like the warm coffee:)

ps: btw... wat a post lady! therz still so much to learn huh?!

Ganja Turtle said...

Hmmmmm...when will you actually get around to the answer?

venus said...

it's surprizing to see this coming from a girl who says is from quite conservative family :)

but I think, your view about guy's live0in experience is a good thing to consider. Good luck in your search!

mathew said...

you guys seriously need some medication.. :)

qand ur friends are ingenius..Like somewhere i read..Hope is always good!!

silverine said...

emmanuel: KANK ...lol sounds like that no? But then as I have mentioned in my post, this was us girls letting our hair down :) And hey, I will take your advice and just go wild ok? :)

ajith: I think you haven't read the post at all, I have made several mentions that we were not being serious.

toothless wonder: You are getting warm...but not quite there, now find a gal quick and tell her you need to live in...fast!!! LOL

fleiger: Yes, and there would have not been a post at all...after all who would spend time with their laptop when there is a cute laptop er... I mean guy sitting next to you :))

ganja turtle: Ah...the practical man speaketh :)

der bergwind: Thanks buddy :)

venus: Nothing wrong with going wild once in a while, see even you seem to agree to our point :)

mathew: Nopes we don't need medications, we need more sessions like this. Nothing wrong with dreaming yeah? ;)

Leon said...

First off.. Were you at all serious? Or was it all about you gals letting your hair down?

If there was some actual thought behind it.. then.. Umm.. I'm kinda skeptical.. It's easy to talk abt it.. but difficult to practice..

If it was just a joke.. disregard the above.. but reflect on what you would do if you were to encounter a prospective partner with just a past phone-based boyfriend-girlfriend relationship ( forget about a live-in relationship.. that's prob far too complicated to consider if you haven't been in one)

This issue is actually a reality.. because even in India, atleast in the metros, it's hard to come across someone who hasn't been in even one minor relationship until the age of 25.

And an even more serious question.. If you ARE the type to be particular about the past.. how would you know in an arranged marriage if your prospective suitor has had a past?

silverine said...

Leon: :))

I have mentioned in the post that this was a discussion about our ideal man, the way we want him customised :)

Kusum said...

Wonly Superman!!! I rejected him long back, I don't like his hair style!! Now what will I do * WAAAAH*

silverine said...

Kusum: LOL
Thank god I like his hair style...or kunwari mar jaathi :P

Fleiger said...

Cute laptop? That was... err... forget it...

Anyways, in that case, the post wouldn't have come out in the same form I guess ;)

And read in some comment, "customized " ideal man? What you need is more customization than even Porsche provides (and that's height of customization) ;)