Friday, August 07, 2009

Mobile entertainment

Now that the Big 10 bus services have been introduced in Bangalore, I find my self using the service to go to town...quite literally. During weekdays we car pool, so during weekends I use this service to give me a break from driving. During my travels from home to Brigade Road I find myself seated next to a lot of people who use the travel time to catch up with friends, relations, parents, BF/GF etc. Of these, the mallus are the most voluble.

Example no 1: The Mallu gal in Bangalore for higher studies.

This type generally chats up people back home in Kerala during the bus ride. The conversation is held in Malayalam. I have used the liberty to use English for non mallu readers. Typical conversations are like this:

Hellooo! Idhu njaana! Aa! Pinne…avide endha vishesham? Is it raining there aa? Aa! What about at Babuchayans place? Please be careful near the well. You will slip and fall due to the moss. Tell that Vareed to come and clean it no! Has achchan repaired the wall on the other side of the parambu? That Mathukutty's cows will have a hay-day if you don’t. Pinne… tell me what else is new there? Aiyyo jose chetande kada pootiyo? Eppo? So where do you buy vegetables from now? Teresa chechi is gone home for delivery? I hope I can get home by then. Pakshe test undu. Pinne businde ticketinde prashanam undo. Last minute ticket kitoola. Njaan innu onnum kazhichilla amme. Breakfastinnu breadum butterum ayirnnu. Maduthu! Pinne…vere endha vishesham? Aiyyo ende stop vittu poyi. Njaan vekkate? Illa, adutha stopil irangi nadannolam. Sheri! Amme vekkate? Aiyyo stop vannu. Koda eduthatundu. Vayiguneram vilikaam tow? Aiyyo conductor saare stop maadi. Eranganam.

All this is delivered at supersonic jaw crunching speed and by the time we reach the next stop I and other mallu passengers in the bus can write the biography of the entire Kandath family from Thodupuzha!!

Next specimen will be mallu gal from Kerala married to techie guy and now employed in some office. She will talk to her friend also married and living in Calicut.

Hiiiii! How are you? I am fine. Etan is also fine. Ende father in law sick aa! Ariyulla endha problem. Vayis ayille. Pinne enna visheshams? Ivide oru vishesham illa. *gasp* Really??? Aiyyo! I did not hear that! When? Where? How? Ende daivamme!! Did her parents bring her back? I knew it! I told her also. But she was madly in love with him! Pinne what else? Anyone else in our batch getting married? Job is boring yaar. Etan comes home only by 9. I watch TV what else! My neighbor is some Tamilian. Kandooda aa sthreeye! Ende stop vannu. Njaan orkuttil scrap chaiyyam. Balance illa. Bye!

To me: Is this Lal Baugh stop?
Me: No. This bus doesn’t go that way!
Gal: Aiyyo!
Me: Where are you going?
Gal: Majestic!
Me: You are in the wrong bus.
Gal: !!!!
Me: Never mind. Get down at Brigade Road. You will lots of buses from there.
Gal: Hello? Nasreen? I am in the wrong bus *giggle* hahahahahahahaha
And more ahahahaha

After that I and the rest of the passengers who can understand Malayalam can write the entire biography of the Krishnan Menon and Abu Backer Family from Calicut.

Unfortunately no guys will sit next to me as I sit in the ladies section. But like the other Bangalore guys, mallu guys are also not discriminatory and do not mind sitting on ladies seats. Their conversations will go like this after looking around and ascertaining that his neighbors are non mallus.

Hey da I met Sushmita, Renju and Baby yesterday. They are all here. Ramesh IBM’ill annu. Rejoyum, babyum Accentureil annu. Pinne Joemone kandu. Avan Bilkehalliyill aanu thamasam. Navin has gone to the US for his MS. I am in training now. Boring da. After that I will go to Pune. Yesterday was team lunch. Stupid food. Everybody wanted Andhra food. You don’t get malayalam movies here. So Sunday we spend roaming around malls. Jijo is in TCS. Harish is in Infosys. Srinivasan is in Mindtree. Abraham is in CTS and …..!

By the time this conversation is over, me and the other passengers who know Malayalam feel like picking him up and heaving him out of the bus.

26 comments:

Mohan said...

With malayalam accent it is so difficult to comprehend their conversation at times. Atleast your post made me understand 80% of whatever you have written if not complete :)

They aren't any different in offices either. They do all the conversations in malayalam so that no one understands around them at times! Language has its own advantages at times for sure!

bluediamond said...

haha... enikku ithishtapettu.. parama sathyam!!! :P
blore ppl really forgot that this place is full of mallus!

Dhanush Gopinath said...

Frankly speaking. I do not get it. What is the problem here? Speaking over the phone? Speaking Malayalam? Speaking Manglish? Or something else? Whats wrong in asking about your friends and neighbours unless and until its strictly private?

I have been in all type of buses and also see many of the people talking over the phone. Not just Malayalis. Sometime loud, sometimes hush hush. But then its a bus you have to speak loud to be audible.

mathew said...

hahaha..typical..well i almost felt like travelling in a bus back back home..

well you know what...there is a bus route from my office which is mostly used by Indians...and most of em start their telephonic conversations on their way home in this bus...Now the germans avoid the bus like plague due to the constant chattering and the heavy smell of spices hanging in the air...last i heard the only bus running in Hamburg with a NO MOBILE USAGE sticker inside a bus is that route...I think we Indians chatter a way lot..close comes the spanish..;-P

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

:))

ROFL@kodai eduthatundu =))

I rode the state transport bus everyday for two years in 11th and 12th and I thoroughly enjoyed the rides. When it wasn't overcrowded and I did get a seat, I would mostly meet simple uneducated men going about their daily lives and it would be most amusing to overhear their arbitrary prejudices or general rants and engaging to hear their lives and troubles :)

scorpiogenius said...

With so many styles of speech in each district of Kerala it may probably be tough for even the mallu folks to understand the talk, perhaps thats what they think.. ;)

Poor non-mallus, they wouldn't have a clue as to whats going on..:)))))

Sriram said...

Reminds me of the time we guys from school had gone to Chandigarh... One evening we were roaming about, passing comments as free as birds in Malayalam.. "dei aa manja niram (some girl in yellow dress :P) kollaamalley?" etc

One of the persons in the gang turned back and asked, "Ningal evidenna?"

:X

silverine said...

Mohan: Relieved to hear that you understood :) And you are right on the observations!

bluediamond: Another observant soul like me I see! :) Thanks girl!

Dhanush: Its all right if you do not get it!

Mathew: lol!! That says a lot!! :)) I can almost visualise that!!

Karthik: It is indeed very interesting to ride in a bus with perfect strangers. The Big 10 is a premium service though not as premium as the Volvo, so you get the techie and college going crowd in it. :)

Scorpiogenius: You get to hear so many types of Malayalam! Last Saturday I heard the typical Mapilla malayalam! :p

Sriram: LOL!! That must have been a learning exp!

Vishwas Krishna said...

Very nice post. Couldn't stop laughing. Even I have experienced this tendency of family history being dished out by fellow commuters. Sometimes, amusing and at times very much irritating.

Anonymous said...

I m also a regular traveller of Volvo's and Big10 busses...I cn vouch tht the post is no exaggeration at all.....best is wen mallu grls tlk to thr bf's....the sugar coated mallu romance mks me feel diabetic b4 I reach Brigade :)

Jeseem said...

I really cannot understand who/how people keep so updated on happening @home. completely beyond me , how they can spend so much time talking..

DD said...

Fantastic description Anju, very very true :) It is a whole lot of fun to listen to these conversations...

/urgu said...

@sriram Hahaha!!

silverine said...

Viswas: True! :)

Anon: hehe its non stop amusement no? :p

Jeseem: I guess it is because mallu families are so insular and hence that is all they have to talk about!

DD: The bus rides are so boring without these running commentaries! :)

n i t i n said...

Oh... Mallu's ennum Mallus thanne!! :P

@sriram LOL, You never mentioned that b4! :D

sunny_raju said...

Hey i read ur blog in bangalore mirror, and enjoyed a lot, i guess now u will get hatred comments from Malayali netizens

Shalini Surendran said...

Hi..!!
I read this post in today's B'lore Mirror! Very interesting; nice read! ROFL... :)
Now I know what I am gonna do today at work - hehee, explore your blog!

http://meandmyblogg.blogspot.com/2009/04/red-bus-adventures.html
That is my experience of traveling by bus in B'lore.

Cheers,
Shalini

Jeevan said...

Read your "Mobile entertainment" in Bangalore Mirror onboard an Big 10 bus. Great Entertainment. One of the finest blogs encountered.
Cheers
Jeevan

TWINBOYS said...

i read this article in today's B'lore Mirror! supb....very funny;...

good post!!


best wishes~!!!

silverine said...

Nitin::)

Sunny: You are clairvoyant! :p

Shalini: Thank you! And welcome to my blog! :)

Jeevan: Thank you! And thanks a ton for dropping by! :)

Twin Boys: Thank you so much! :)

sajith viswam said...

Today my non-mallu boss hu noe little abt malayalam brought me this blog published on Bangalore Mirror - Blog Talk.
It was so joyful reading, as every frame of talking was rite infront of my eyes. All mallus in my office cant stop laughing.

Thanks and regards to Kandath Family-Thodupuzha and Krishnana Menon and Abubecker family-Calicut.

Great work!!

cheers!!

Sandbag said...

Its no different in my office....But more irritating is when this MALLU neighbour in my office speaks in Hindi...with an angrezee accent...

silverine said...

Sajith: Thank you so much and great to see you here! :)

Sandbag: lol! That I want to hear!

Anand said...

hahahaha...you are soooooo funny!!! sahodari, ini thottu thaangal ulla busil malayalikal aarum phonil samsarikkallu ennu board ezhuthi thooku... OMGawdddd!!! I just can't stop laughing.

arun said...

wht will i say.. dis mobile entertainment ws a rly awesome article.. njyd it alot..

arun said...

an awesome blog.. v.funny.. loved it