Sunday, July 27, 2008


Rose, my cousin sister was still single. She is my mom's niece in a sort of way, though in a pretty convoluted way! Her Dad is a proud man. He doesn’t like to mix with us as he feels we are high brow or the more apt term would be “show offs.” Our fault…is that we have cars, which according to him is extravagance and that we have parties, which according to him is moral degradation and many other perceived or non perceived faults. He is the typical PLG.

But he is family and hence we cannot cut off ties with his kids because of him. When we drop in to their home, their attitude is one of restraint. Gifts to the kids are ignored and not acknowledged as though it was unnecessary and after polite talk, we take leave of the excruciating atmosphere. The kids watch us go with sadness. Victims of family insecurities.

With the parents botching up one proposal after another due to their stupid pride, Rose seemed doomed to remain unmarried at 29. This is when my mom decided to step in like she did countless times before. And when my mom decides to step in, it means her slave laborer i.e yours truly is the person who actually does all the menial work.

So I made the Kerala Matrimony account, scanned prospective grooms and passed on the scanned and filtered proposals to Rose’s brother via email. Every single proposal was found faulty and the attitude of the parents was that we were trying to send their daughter off with some loser.

Ignoring them,, my mom persisted err told me to persist. It was kinda fun reading the proposals and the atrocious English and me and pals had some fun times giggling when mom was not looking. At work too, the Kerala Matrimony log in was our ticket to much merriment and laughter!

Sometime back we got the good news that Rose was finally getting engaged! The boy, her cousin brother informed my mom, was from Changanassery and they found him via a newspaper ad. When the details of the boy arrived, I was amused to see that it was one of the prospects that we had got through Kerala Matrimony. Anyways, we didn’t want to spoil the parent’s party by making them acknowledge that it was my mom and her slave driving that got them a groom.

Rose gets engaged today in Pala. I am very happy for Rose. The wedding is in Changanassery, the groom’s place, as per our customs. We are not invited. They did send word through Rose’s mom’s sister. But protocol demands that the parents call us and invite us. So we gave it the miss as it is obvious they want it so. If you think, we are sobbing like ladies in Hindi movies, then you are mistaken. We are too busy doing high fives. Besides we are used to such attitudes from Rose's parents!

And as my Dad tartly observed as he handed me a beer today, “Poor Lonai (Rose’s dad). Caught between the devil ( my mom) and the deep sea ( me). At least he should have acknowledged it. Now If something goes wrong, he cannot blame the devil or the deep sea” (This was said in Malayalam and I may have missed the essence while translating! :p )

And so we toasted to Rose and Jose’s good health. Wishing them both the very best life has to offer. Happy times, strength to get the bad times and lots of happy events to tide over the bad. God bless!

p.s I had to regretfully err under gun point close the Kerala Matrimony account. It was an out and out entertainment channel for us, with more variety in programmes than all our mallu TV channels put together! :p


mathew said...

I am sure you might have taken it in the right spirit...But this definitely must have hurt your Mom...I hope she takes it along..Sometimes even good deeds backfire!!

Recently I heard a story of the reverse effect too..Mom was talking about a distant relative, the girl who was earning a 6 figure salary and she is finding it difficult to get a groom who earns more than her..As they say it wouldnt make sense to marry a less earning guy!!

Regarding Rose's dad, I think it is just the mindset problem of a man who is really good at heart..As you say some pre-conceived notions that choose to stay and wouldnt go however hard you try.

Hari said...

Well, you just spoke of an issue peculiar to us Mallus! All the un-necessary malice and jealousy!! This post deserves an entry in the SaveKerala blog. :D

I've too scanned KeralaMatrimony for a cousin... LOL, some profiles make you laugh out raucously with the 'profile descriptions'!

| Balu | said...

Thats kinda sad
Na not the invite part the translation of a mallu saying into english!
But hey all's well that ends well (i am referring to the wedding this time! =0 )

Philip said...

What your dad said is absolutely correct. If you and your mom were acknowledged as the people who took the initiative for this marriage, then you would get blamed for everything that could go wrong. Even now, there is no guarantee that a few years down the line, those relatives won't start muttering "All these problems are because of Silverine and her mother".

silverine said...

Mathew: No! Mom and the rest of the sane family are quite used to this. What Rose's Dad did was take advantage of his unique position, i.e take his family's help for granted. And thats a given, isn't it in any family? :) His mindset has isolated him from a big chunk of the family. Thats his loss. He is in his 70's now. Reg that gal with a 6 digit salary, I don't think salary should be a problem if you have found the person you can respect!

Hari: lol! You know Mind Curry had told me many times to put my posts at DOC. But then he himself advised against it as the fallout can be pretty ugly. Besides I don't believe in defending anything I write as most of my posts are my personal views and I don't require anyones endorsement for that. And I have earned my share of enemies with this blog for my outspokenness on issues that some people like to brush under the carpet. :)

Balu: I think the translation is fine judging from Philip's comment! :p

Philip: You are right. But then we didn't do this in isolation. The rest of the extended family was in on it. And if they do grumble (after having taken public credit for the match) there will be too few people in the family to listen to them! :)

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said... should've told me about your matrimony account! We could've found a match for this poor soul too:



Your mother, even if unacknowledged, is an admirable person to have persisted and found a match for her niece.

Anoop G said...

did u find any profile interesting for you ? ;)

Abraham Menacherry said...

I like the way you have explained Rose's dad... without malice... thats a cool talent!

Ms Cris said...

>>.And as my Dad tartly observed as he handed me a beer today, “Poor Lonai (Rose’s dad). Caught between the devil ( my mom) and the deep sea ( me). At least he should have acknowledged it. Now If something goes wrong, he cannot blame the devil or the deep sea” (This was said in Malayalam and I may have missed the essence while translating! :p )<<

No essence missed! LOL

silverine said...

Karthik: LOL!! You tried to sell that guy to me. Now you are selling him here? :p Tell me the truth. How much is he paying you? :))

raji: Thank you for the kind words. But I guess we can expect such persistence from ones own relations! :)

Anoop: I wasn't looking for myself!

Abraham: Thank you!

Ms Cris: Now thats a relief :p Thanks! :)

The Layman said...

Does rose have a brother named thomas?

silverine said...

@layman: No! I don't use real names in my posts! :)

emmanuel said...

"devil" suited you the best. ;)

enthu parayanaa??? Poor Lonai. *sigh*

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

@Silverine: 1 million Zimbabwe dollars :-|

Jeseem said...

so your mom took the right decision to assign the task to her trusted general anjali.
alls well that ends well. so the happy ending of you closing the matrimony account and the bonus point of rose getting engaged.
and all this under the silent and watchful eyes of achhan.

Amey said...

Ooh, and I would have thought that your mom (or you) would have taken advantage of the fact that you were already on a matrimony site. ;)

A more serious comment coming up soon.

silverine said...

emanuel: @#$&!!! Rest of the comment via mail! :|

Karthik: Wow! You will retire poor! tch tch with freinds like you who needs ICICI banks bill collectors ..sigh!

jeseem: Achchan never knew what was happening or "Mission Rose" would have been nipped in the bud :p And nice to see you Sir! :)

Amey: err me on matrimony site? Puhleese, not yet. I've got a year more to philander! ;) Awaiting the serious comment!

Movie dialogues that have touched the heart said...

:) neat one

Deepti said...

I can say the english and the descriptions on the sites are so much fodder for stand up comedians ... And the translation is cool!! :)

Amey said...

Oh, so the deadline is fixed already? I mean, line for you, dead for...

silverine said...

movie dialogues: Thanks for dropping by! I loved your blog! Looking forward to more such posts! :)

deepti: Thank you! :)

Amey: LOL!!!

grr one *chamaat* for you! :p

Saadhaaranakkaaran said...

Hey, it's nice to read u.. :-)