Monday, February 18, 2008

Ties that knot


Why do these American celebrities marry? This is a question that just beats me!!! I mean these people do everything a married couple does without the paperwork, then why ink the deal that we all know will not last long? Especially when the paperwork for a Divorce is much lengthier than that of a wedding? Besides horribly expensive too, if newspaper reports are to be believed.

From here it seems these people live in a charmed world. There is absolutely no pressure from society in their personal lives, except perhaps in the upbringing and care of children. They do not have to follow any religious diktats either. A couple can make up their mind to live together and have kids and do it with the blessing of their family and friends. And that makes parting also easier and less expensive and tedious. In such a set up, marriage seems to be an anathema. An institution that seems more outdated than a bullock cart. In fact it seems like a laughable idea to me!

I shake my head in disbelief when I hear of celebrity weddings.The glowing bride, the smiling groom, the decorations etc looks like a joke to be frank, because very soon the very same glowing bride will be holding onto another smiling groom and vice versa! Of course after a bitter and very public and even more expensive divorce!

Do the guests at the wedding who go awwww as the happy couple pose for photographs after the Nuptials, really believe that this is a happily-ever-after spectacle? Especially when they know that they will soon be invited to the very same couples wedding albeit to different people a few months down the line!

To me it is like two friends deciding to make their friendship legal! Totally ridiculous as friendship doesn’t need official or religious sanction, 'just like' living together like a couple and having kids for these folks in the West!

So why do these celebrities marry!?! Beats me!

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22 comments:

mathew said...

marriage is just a path to divorce..sort of like a intermediate milestone before the actual thing..

and divorce seems like a regular affair in west..do you know that most couples prefer to rent a house in west because in case of the eventuality it is easier to settle things..No onw wants to buy a house because it means more legal hassles after that..

silverine said...

Mathew: Why do they marry then! Why not move in together? I was reading about Brad Pitt and Angelina's wedding announcement today. Apparently she wants things the way it is, while he wants to tie the knot. I don't know why since the the marriage knot is not a knot that ties, for these folks!

mathew said...

exactly because it gives a conscionable alibi provided things doesnt work out...

neways movie stars getting married then divorced and then going to rehab..checking in again after sometime..and finally dying of drug overdose..doesnt it all sound like a routine..

very apt title...

Freespirit said...

I am a celebrity, publicity is my birth right! aint it? Marriage is big publicity n a lot of moolah too!(read telecast rights, suing for publishing private photographs etc etc etc)

aaron said...

According to society(at least till the early 1900's) and religion: Fornication, children out of wedlock etc were wrong and frowned upon. Marriage was the right thing to do and sex and children were expected after/within marriage.

So celebrities and a large number of the citizens in the west probably get married to get a feeling of having righted the numerous wrongs they committed??

Probably its like dope... you get high for a while....

DD said...

Agree with freespirit's comment: Celebrity marriage -> Publicity -> Huge contracts for 'exclusive pictures of the wedding'
I do think that there is a small commitment angle entangled somewhere in there where marriage kind of says "I really do love you (and wanna be with you till divorce or death do us apart!)".
Oh btw, in the US, if you are maried, you pay lesser taxes, though I doubt if that has anything to do with celebrity marriages ;)

Apoorv Khatreja said...

Never really got the point of a 'bound' relationship. It still does exist in the west. I'd make a rough estimate and say that the average American marries at least two times in a lifespan :D.

Solitaire said...

Isnt this a generalization? I am not much into Hollywood so have no idea who is married to who but is this really true of every couple? These days even us viewers have begun to engage in such behaviors.

Rupinion said...

Is it neessary that, the "celebrity" couple is thinking of the divorce at the wedding itself? Can't it be just that they too dream of a happily-lived-ever-after story and then things go wrong later for whatever reason. Everyone has the right to dream that whatever they are doing at the moment is to ensure a happy tomorrow, isn't it? :)

silverine said...

Mathew: Routine yeah! But I really sympathize with Brittany. And blame the paparazzi for her condition.

freespirit:"suing for publishing private photographs" lol Didnt know that was part of a plan :))

Aaron: "Probably its like dope, you get high for a while." You mean getting married is a heady feeling. It does make sense. Making a commitment, marrying,moving in together, mkaing a home etc. I guess like kids they like the game :)

DD: Commitment angle could be it. And hope, that it will last I guess, but then a live in relation will last too if there is commitment from both sides. Or it could be the symbolic element of the wedding ritual. Confusing....

apoorv: Two times is too less dont you think? :D But a bound relationship for these folks doesn't make sense.

solitaire: I was talking of Stars who marry when they dont need to, due to the society they live in.

rupinion: You are right. Maybe they too dream of a happy ending, but then if they look around they can see the reality.But then I guess each couple thinks they will not end up in divorce like others I guess :D

philip said...

I think the concept of marriage is hardwired into all people because of the society. Don't forget that American society is very conservative at heart when it comes to matters of race, religion, family and gender (compared to other western countries). These celebrities were brought up no differently than other American children. Also, marriage legitimizes the relationship in the eyes of the public. Celebrities are like politicians - whatever they do is with an eye on what people think.

Deepti said...

Its not just hollywood celebs, even their Indian counterparts are not far behind :)and all the divorce mess... and sometimes the media is to blame too!! They dont let them be in any case married or divorced ... or in rehab!!!

silverine said...

Philip: Yep I have heard of American conservativeness. An oxymoronic word of you ask me :) And your observation makes sense too.

Deepti: Married, Divorced or Rehab... rhymes in a strange way :) The current Bollywood stars seem to have stronger marriages than the stars of yesteryears.

eljo said...

everybody wants that fairy tale wedding and the "happily ever after". but what most people don't realise is that "happily ever after" don't happen by itself. It takes a lot of effort, maturity, understanding and of course romance to make marriage work. Especially in today's "instant" culture, people don't put in the effort to stick together longer. just my 2 bits on the topic :-)

anN-series said...

it is a win-win-win situation

for the 'stars'- in a world where public memory is short, these celebs need to do something to make sure that they stay in the spotlight. so once they hv tried the rehab, dating, drugs tactic- next is marriage..once that is over then divorce, cheating by the other partner..also since everyone is greedy for money and OK, Vogue wants to cover the wedding pics giving them royalty...if lucky parties also get a well drafted pre-nup..

for society in general- apart from Vogue, OK, Playboy may want the honeymoon scoop..not to forget the CDs and MMS circulated of the 'consummation of their marriage'...lets us not forget the number of tabloids that are sold..then it is also imp for lawyers- pre nup drafting, divorce proceedings..so see there is generation of employment

for us- we read the scoop and many a times derieve pleasure out of it- werent we happy wen tom cruise divorced kidman...

so it a win-win-win situation...

btw i hav heard that at times tabloids pay couples to get married for the increasing the sales of their 'newspaper'

anN-series said...

also ever thought abt y these celebs have children?(some of them aroun 4-5 with different partners too)..when it is ultimately the nanny's who look after them..
1) the women get to binge for 6 months
2) carrying a child on ur shoulders gets u good publicity
3)if the father is rich, the very good more money coming ur way

Abhilash said...

Its not just Americans or North Indian Celebs no more. Even Malayalees Now. Malayalam Actor Mukesh dviroced his wife Sartiha. And just couple of months ago Malayalam Actor Manoj K Jayan divorced his wife famous actress Urvashi. Supposedly difference of opinion whether she should go back to acting after they had a child.

silverine said...

eljo: Thanks for the tip [:p] ahem I mean you are right! Relationships are not as easy as we singletons think it is I guess :(

ann-series: There goes my admiration for Ms Jolie :( Well if all this is done for publicity and to keep in constant public eye then I do pity these people. No wonder they break down and rehab!

Abhilash: I am afraid you did not understand my post. I am talking of people marrying in a society where marriage in not in vogue.

Amey said...

I don't think this is such a big issue as we make it out to be. Some notable exceptions (with one day marriages) apart, I guess most marriages work for the "average" length. It's just that there is so much more publicity and media scrutiny which gives this impression.

Thomas said...

They marry so they can divorce.If they don't marry they will be no different from cats and dogs.
I met a sevnty year old German who was with his sixth wife. I asked him how many girlfriends did he have.Of course "countless was the answer."Still how many?" i persisted. "Above 300 for sure" was the answer.

silverine said...

Thomas: They are quite liberal in their thinking so marriage seems out of place somehow.

Amey: But they can still avoid the paperwork if the want!

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Silverine, having stayed here for a bit now, I must say it is a very sad situation actually. They do marry 'sincerely', (ok, let's count out the celebrities for the moment.Even then, the average couple remains married in the US for only 7 years!)but the problem is that the concept of 'family' is so disintegrated that they've never learnt such things as 'sacrifice' or 'compromise', and as a consequence, even though they start off sincerely, the break-ups are a lot more. The women being completely independent only adds to this. In fact, this trend can be seen among the new-age couples in India too. Hasty marriages from superficial love, and then boredom leading to break-up.
*sigh*