The height of tolerance among other things...

It makes all sorts to make up this world. But some people are a little more extraordinary than the rest... a little more unique than the most unique person, a little more of a sucker than the worst sucker on Earth.

Suckers attract leeches, who feed off the sucker. The sucker of course doesn’t think he/she is being used and even justifies his parasites. I came across one such person sometime back. It took me some time to realize that she was 'the' classic case of a sucker.

DR is an extremely pretty plump girl. She is the only child of her parents and joined our office from our Delhi office recently for a years transfer. DR's parents too moved to Bangalore to be with her after giving their plush apartment in Delhi for rent for a hefty sum.

DR's father is a retired Police Commissioner and mother, a retired government doctor. She retired from the post as a Health Commissioner or an equivalent post. DR spent her entire life from Nursery to Graduation in hostels as both her parents were ‘working and there was no one to take care of her’.

From day one I noticed a routine in DR. She comes to office and immediately calls up home to enquire if her parents (both in their 50's and healthy) have had their breakfast she has cooked and left. She leaves money on the dining table for their daily expenses and grocery expenses. Her lunch is a horrible cucumber sandwich made by her mom. Most of the time she eats at the office cafeteria to escape the horrible home cooked lunch. She justifies gettting up at 4am and cooking and leaving the house because, her she says her parents are old and cannot make an omelet for her. She justifies leaving money for them daily, because they are retired and dont have an income. The parent’s pension plus rent from their apartment and monies from their ancestral property is worth a few lakhs a month.

Recently when DR was in Mumbai, her mom took ill. Her Dad waited for DR to return for two days, so that she could take her mom to the doctor. It turned out to be a food poisoning case. She took loan, among the many other loans to do the expensive tests that the hospital ordered to "rule out" any doubts. She aslo stayed with her mom in the hospital while her Dad sat at home and watched TV. She also bought her mom home in a taxi as in her own words, "my Dad is old and I dont want to strain him". He of course went to Mysore for a trip in their Scorpio after Mom and daughter were home. Did I tell you it was DR who put fuel in the Scorpio so that her “old” and “poor” Dad could take a break from excessive TV watching and socializing?

No amount of advising will convince her that she is being used by her parents. She feels it her duty that she looks after her “old” and “incomeless” parents and will not listen to anyone.

DR has a mallu boyfriend. Her parents are perfectly allright with her marrying her BF, as long as he doesn’t ask for dowry. Besides, they have asked her to take loan for her marriage which she finds “perfectly natural”, as her parents needs “her help” for taking care of wedding expenditure. The BF wants her to leave her job so that she can look after his sick mother. DR of course finds it a “perfectly natural request”, but is extremely worried about not being to help her parents financially if she does so. Recently BF’s mom passed away. Now he is citing reasons of language differences, to break off the engagement. Again DR “perfectly understands” her “poor” BF’s “position” as he is from a high caste and has scores of relations to answer to!

I am actually tired of watching this abuse. I am tired of watching this girls being used like this day in and day out. I am tired of this girls resilience to abuse. No one knows how to drive sense into her. Maybe bankruptcy, which will come soon, may open her eyes. My gut feeling is that it will not. She will have some justification for that too.

Her epitaph might just read “Doing your best means never stop trying.”