Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dining in Hell

I guess this rant will be understood by people like me. By me I mean unmarried folks which would be the majority of people here.

I was at this popular breakfast haunt of Bangaloreans the other day. This place is like a holy place of us old Bangaloreans and we make a pilgrimage least once in two months to eat here. Most of us have had our first solid food here. I did, when I grabbed some Khara Bath(Upma in Hindi and Salt Mango Tree in Malayalam) from my dads plate and stuffed my mouth in front of my horrified mum. Then I insisted on finishing it and never looked at baby food again. Baby food tasted terrible after tasting Khara Bath from M.T.R. In fact everything tastes terrible after you have eaten from M.T.R.

I hated Baby food so much that my parents used it as blackmail to get me to eat food.

“Finish your rice Anju or you go back to baby food.” I was a very chubby as a kid.

So here we were three freinds on our monthly pilgrimage to M.T.R sitting at this table next to a large joint family. The joint family consisted of a grandpa, grandma, their siblings and the grandpa, grandma and their sibling’s older kids and the older kid’s younger kids most of whom were newly married with babies and toddlers. The entire Khandaan sat on half a dozen tables. The women wore ghoonghat (covered their head with saree pallu) and were perpetually busy keeping it in place. The men talked loudly amongst themselves and kids were like brats raised by a she wolf a la Jungle King for they crawled all over the table and under and generally behaved like a pack of baby animals escaped from a hospital for mentally retarded baby animals. Their parents had also ensured that they had all taken their Adrenalin tablets before coming to the restaurant. For good measure I guess they gave them twice the dose this day.

The food came and we watched with interest as the kids attacked the food like a horde of starving locusts. In the melee that followed most of us were treated to an aromatic bath of Sambhar, Chutney, Kesari Bath and Potato Curry and as an after shower perfume we were sprayed with hot Coffee and Tea. M.T.R. is one of the few places that serves you piping hot tea and coffee and this day it was scalding hot. Next time I take Burnol with me when I go there.

*Splat* and a blob of thick coconut chutney came and hit me like a slap. My white top looked like it had a splash of green color embroidered on. My friends started giggling. *Splash* a spatter of Sambhar sprayed on my other friends starched Organdy designer salwar. She looked like she was going to have a brain hemorrhage. I started cackling at the expression on her face and just then a half eaten vada came and fell on our table. The third girl at the table, a prim and proper missy had had enough. She took it and threw it back at the offending table. The occupants of that table stopped chewing, fighting, thwacking, throwing food and generally behaving like a bunch of cave people at an all you can kill and eat buffet and looked at us with disapproval. Then they promptly returned to the culinary orgy. I noticed that the kids had more food on their persons than in their bellies. Now that requires some serious talent I tell you! Hats off!

After the eating spree was over the kids turned their attention to the cutlery and crockery. Suddenly flying saucers and spoon appeared from nowhere and tables started bobbing up and down as determined kids tried to topple them from underneath. All this while the adults talked and chewed and talked some more.

We paid our bill and got up to leave. That’s when we noticed that the other neighbors of the Adams family had pulled their table as far away as they could from this family. Bummer. Wish we had done the same. :(


mathew said... reminds me of a scene in an old mal movie.."Manu Uncle"....

you know the worst part of eating with kids..they steal from our plates..and we cant protest! :I

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

LOL@your descriptions! Befitting post for poomanam actually!

LOL@Upma in Hindi(too much you are :|) and Salt Mango tree in malayalam.


M.T.R = Made To Remember

No? :|

Pramod Abraham said...

The appetite these little kids have are like they have 2 tapeworms to feed.

But then you can eat like that only when ur kid's na !

Smitha said...

That was hilarious! And what a family!! Definitely a family from hell!!!
LOL at Salt Mango Tree in Malayalam - that was superb!

Amal Bose said...

i dont really know why kids are so adorable and at the same time so mischievous...

nice post :)

In my lineofsight


kids shld be banned at eateries

but then, u wld still be eating baby food

adorable read

Anonymous said...

Its amazing how so many people have the exact same memories!! My sister did the exact same thing at MTR ! just that she grabbed the Rava Idly instead of the Kharabath :)


Jeseem said...

goshh... I dunno why many indians don't behave themselves and control their kids in restaurants.
good post.. ms.. ex-chubby.. ( i dunno about ex.. though :P )

Kunjootty said...

recently i had an experince when travelling by train. there was an example of the above mentioned species in my compartment. the kid was crawling, brawling and making a ruckus all over the place and everyone seemed extremely annoyed as the mother didnt bother in the least to control him. finally when it was dinner time the mother was trying in vain to feed and the kid just refused to eat the food brought. in the end exasperated she asked "mone ninakku enthaadaa vendathu pinne? enthengilum nee eduthu thinnada"
the kid just shouted "enikku aa motta venam" and pointed.. pointed... pointed to my tiffin :-( i was the only one eating a boiled egg... in that whole compartment i felt. there was a pleading look on the mothers face and there were threatening looks from all the other passengers 'pass it on and shut up the brat' they seemed to say. i quietly passed on the egg and had to eat my chapathis plain and dry :-P

:-D lol at saltmangotree - one of mohanlal's classics; another one like that is the "distance from Washington DC to Miami beach".

scorpiogenius said...

And the parents did nothing??!! Heck, they'd soon take notice when the kids deposit a good portion of spicy fish curry into their eyes...

Spoiled rotten...

Well done, for keeping your cool. ;) So next time you'll pull the table to a distance if you encounter a similar situation..;)

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

I've had numerous such experiences while living in Chennai during my childhood. We used to goto Saravana Bhavan and have the famous Masala Dosa's and i used to relish the time spent there. Even being a non-veggie i used to loath veg food made @ saravana bhavan. Great post :)

Anonymous said...

Khana Blog Park! These blogging women are more intersted in food!

silverine said...

Sorry for the delay in reply friends.

Mathew: True! :p

Karthik: Made to remember it is! :)

Pramod: lol! Very apt description of kids!

Smitha: Thank you! :)

Amal: These were far from adorable! :)

PD: I think parents should not bring their kids to eateries if they do not know how to behave!!

Anon: So your sister too had her annaprashan at MTR!! Nice! :)

Jeseem: You are absolutely right about some Indian parents. And for the rest of the comment, as usual one chamaat! :))

Kunjooty: I think that mother needs a slap!! It is always the parents who are to blame!!

Scorpiogenius: Neglected more like it! I seriously wanted to throw some Sambhar over the parents head :)

Abhi: Nothing like those dosas from Saravana! Yumm! :)

Anon: Looks like you dont know much about blogging women!