S is a suave and charming Management Graduate from one of those top B Schools in Europe. J my chechi (elder cuz sis) is a 24 year old H R Manager, good-looking, confident, well educated and smart. They got married last year.
S had met J a year ago, swept her off her feet with his charm and keen interest in J's likes and dislikes and then proposed marriage. J accepted. Soon after they were married and flying all over the world on vacations. He believes in saving money to have a good time you see. She was happy.
However there is a hitch in the story! For an intelligent girl like her, it didn’t take too long to deduce the hollowness in her man and her marriage. She realized that she had never got to know the real him because he had hurried courtship and rejected her suggestion that they go steady for a while and get to know each other. His contention was that they would, like other married couples have to work at their marriage and iron out the creases.
After the wedding and the honeymoon came the time when the couple had to live together like two adults and that is when J got the shock of her life. J had nothing in common with S. He loved sleeping during weekends while she wanted to explore the Art Galleries, take in a play or two or catch a movie like they did during their courtship days. He was a changed man now. A stranger. All her attempts to get him involved in other activities also failed. All he wanted was to work hard and party hard.
S considered himself Mr Universe and had married her to be his Miss Universe as she is very pretty. And as long as she played the part he was happy. And she did that in the beginning, dressing up for him, posing for photographs he would display on his Orkut account. But an intelligent girl like her soon tired of posing and getting dressed up for get togethers. S was not a bad man. He didn’t ill treat her. But she had nothing from this marriage except loneliness. All she had was a husband who worked from morning till night and partied during weekends when he was not sleeping.
Sometime back she called me up from Delhi and chechi and aneeti had a heart to heart talk like we used to just before this rascal came into her life. As she cried her heart out and we talked, she made peace with the fact that this was not what she wanted with life. She would divorce him. I didn’t oppose or support her decision. I just lent a ear…something her husband should have done.
Soon after the divorce, Chechi met someone nice and the two are going steady. S is left scratching his head wondering why she left when he had given her a nice plasma TV and Foreign Vacations! He is resigned to the fact that he will never understand women.
But that’s besides the point of this post. Chechi is yet another victim to something that happens every time. Guy likes gal, pursues her…shows his best side to woo her and doesn’t give her time to get to know him as he is in hurry to net her. Then he marries her, drops all pretenses, girl gets a shock to see the real guy and then…..the inevitable.
Things turned out well for my chechi. She is from a well off family, educated and employed, articulate and good looking. But most Indian girls are not so lucky! They get stuck in the marriage and plod on adding to the number of "successful marriages" that India so proudly boasts of!