tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post114396340466249665..comments2024-03-07T08:59:32.598+05:30Comments on My Think Pad: The working classsilverinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1145088423211603622006-04-15T13:37:00.000+05:302006-04-15T13:37:00.000+05:30well i have seen both kind of marriages......my ow...well i have seen both kind of marriages......my own father who is always ready to help my mother with every chores....and there's my brother -in-law......i went to his place and was amazed to see that just after returning from office he went inside kitchen to help my cousin sister who is also working......<BR/><BR/>then there's my cousin.....he doesn't do anything and his wife is running all meenakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06079175912333447137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144743928604347962006-04-11T13:55:00.000+05:302006-04-11T13:55:00.000+05:30@Thanu: Marriage is so much more than chores aroun...@Thanu: <I>Marriage is so much more than chores around the house</I> Well said. But unfortunately for almost 99% of Indian girls marriage is the inevitable end to carefree days and the beginning of toil and labor :(silverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144433422501463872006-04-07T23:40:00.000+05:302006-04-07T23:40:00.000+05:30Hey...I'm a married women who holds a full time jo...Hey...<BR/><BR/>I'm a married women who holds a full time job. I do not live with my in laws, but I still do chores around the house. There are some days I come back from work and cook, then there are some days I cook before I go to work. But, I make sure I ask Shekar to help and he does. All it takes is me to as "Can u chop some onions?" "Can u do these dishes?" and he does it willingly. Thanuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12384963844160030808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144207917720402512006-04-05T09:01:00.000+05:302006-04-05T09:01:00.000+05:30yeah..not many unfortunately, I am guessing. But I...yeah..not many unfortunately, I am guessing. But I also know some men who did. :) So there is a glimmer of hope.quillshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613220530338545884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144205022095214072006-04-05T08:13:00.000+05:302006-04-05T08:13:00.000+05:30@quills: You are right. The general attitude is th...@quills: You are right. The general attitude is that the woman has to compromise. How many husbands move with the wife if she is transferred? She will most probably have to resign and look for a job where her husband is stationed. And that is because he cannot look after himself. So maddening!!!!silverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144185806730655052006-04-05T02:53:00.000+05:302006-04-05T02:53:00.000+05:30You know...I have read this post so many times and...You know...I have read this post so many times and each time I read I feel so mad at the plight of so many women. I am not generalizing but I swear this is what I hear from many women almost always with only a few exceptions. I don't think the answer is getting women educated. Education is good, but even then unless the society changes (and you need to teach the young and impressionable mindsquillshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613220530338545884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144168362366022872006-04-04T22:02:00.000+05:302006-04-04T22:02:00.000+05:30"She is just the vessel to carry the child for the..."She is just the vessel to carry the child for the family."<BR/>May I add"male child" to the above sentence..<BR/>I am a doctor and still was told by my wonderful MIL that it was indeed my fault that I gave birth to a girl child.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13095085432288778802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144159434602335552006-04-04T19:33:00.000+05:302006-04-04T19:33:00.000+05:30She is just the vessel to carry the child for the ...<I>She is just the vessel to carry the child for the family.</I><BR/><BR/>thats such a strong statement..and it very rightly describes the plight of women in india.Mind Curryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11788912357913882065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144157136219441242006-04-04T18:55:00.000+05:302006-04-04T18:55:00.000+05:30@IMC: That's exactly what this whole thing is abou...@IMC: That's exactly what this whole thing is about. Earlier they wanted a maid, now they want an educated maid who will bring in money too. Disgusting!!!!!<BR/>@Dr Pissed: You sis in law is very lucky :)<BR/>@Jagan: That is so sad. Her advice spoke volumes about her plight :(silverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144156913060842612006-04-04T18:51:00.000+05:302006-04-04T18:51:00.000+05:30At long last the much awaited comment :PI wonder, ...At long last the much awaited comment :P<BR/><BR/><I>I wonder, are things as bad as you say?</I> All these girls across cultures and geographies cannot be telling lies.<BR/><BR/><I>There would always be lousy husbands and may i add, lousy wives too!</I> Only the very few women qualify as lousy wives because they are bought up to believe that taking care of the house is her <I>dharma</I> The lousysilverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144142375188801972006-04-04T14:49:00.000+05:302006-04-04T14:49:00.000+05:30hmmmm....very interesting post!!..i have a differe...hmmmm....<BR/><BR/>very interesting post!!..i have a different perspective (and probably wrong too!) to offer. <BR/><BR/>I wonder, are things as bad as you say?. Or let me rephrase it again..are things "generally" as bad as you say?. There is a big difference in this. There would always be lousy husbands (and may i add, lousy wives too!) in the world. But are they representative of all the Matter of Choicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13856796561629927068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144131252150313832006-04-04T11:44:00.000+05:302006-04-04T11:44:00.000+05:30my cousin , when she was pregant , cud wake up at ...my cousin , when she was pregant , cud wake up at 5 AM and do the house hold work , go to office , come back and do a whole lot of more work .I really felt bad about it and aksed her why she has to do all these things .She just smiled and talked some shit philosophy and asked me to take better care of my wife when i get married .<BR/>I feel tht this is all bcos she didnt resist or revolt or fightJaganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01393632427905064041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144075141398105082006-04-03T20:09:00.000+05:302006-04-03T20:09:00.000+05:30Not that i disagree with you, but from what i've s...Not that i disagree with you, but from what i've seen, it aint that bad at my place. My sister in law seems to have it pretty easy. She's been in love with my brother for the last 10 years. They cannot be more happier than they already are. For sure. She dont cook. She dont clean. She's just happy. More happier than she could ever be. And we're more than happy to have her.Dr. Pissedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03369727031758656147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144036962293913732006-04-03T09:32:00.000+05:302006-04-03T09:32:00.000+05:30very very interesting point...will be back with a ...very very interesting point...will be back with a detailed comment soon :)<BR/><BR/>cheerio<BR/>MoCMatter of Choicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13856796561629927068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144035413768743092006-04-03T09:06:00.000+05:302006-04-03T09:06:00.000+05:30After doing 72 hours of duty(fri, sat sun and mond...After doing 72 hours of duty(fri, sat sun and monday) I was still expected to do house hold chores (cleaning and cooking).. My in laws were educated and well to do.. Somehow they still thought they got a well educated maid as a daughter in law.. I guess nothing would change..Being woman..you are always expected to be a wife, daughter in law and a mother..Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13095085432288778802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1144029133852503342006-04-03T07:22:00.000+05:302006-04-03T07:22:00.000+05:30@Alexis: You have covered the topic so comprehensi...@Alexis: You have covered the topic so comprehensively with this comment. We <I>have</I> to start mentoring children both male and female at an young age. Girls should be taught that they are not chattels and boys should be taught to share work and respect women. I think this is the only way. Till then there is no hope!<BR/>@mindcurry: Let hope, till then the girls will toil :(silverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143996707228509762006-04-02T22:21:00.000+05:302006-04-02T22:21:00.000+05:30as the saying goes "educate a woman and you educat...as the saying goes "educate a woman and you educate a family". lets hope things change.Mind Curryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11788912357913882065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143991087753784552006-04-02T20:48:00.000+05:302006-04-02T20:48:00.000+05:30@mindcurry:True, girls are taught that it is their...@mindcurry:True, girls are taught that it is their duty to take charge of the house and cooking and after some time it becomes more important than herself, her career, her aspirations, ambitions etc. etc. As you said, marriage as a system is flawed. I have seen only a few, a miniscule few marriages that are built on love and respect for each other. Most marriages are a convenient excuse for the silverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143987681978034272006-04-02T19:51:00.000+05:302006-04-02T19:51:00.000+05:30also, i hate it when men behave like the way you h...also, i hate it when men behave like the way you have described about your friends. its pathetic..and as much as the men are to be blamed, its the society that does the real damage. such practices and mentality is built into the fabric of every guy i guess. i have seen even mothers promote such attitude in their sons when they get married. i dont know what it takes to break free from such "Mind Curryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11788912357913882065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143987538194603672006-04-02T19:48:00.000+05:302006-04-02T19:48:00.000+05:30This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Mind Curryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11788912357913882065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143987228013451462006-04-02T19:43:00.000+05:302006-04-02T19:43:00.000+05:30i totally agree with you on most points, and i thi...i totally agree with you on most points, and i think the whole system and concept of marriage is flawed. and it really sucks.<BR/><BR/>but at the same time, i would like to still believe that marriage is a good thing - WHEN its between two people who can share and love equally. <BR/><BR/>sadly marriages, particularly arranged, which seem to be "arranged for compromise", are seen as a societal Mind Curryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11788912357913882065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143977371572047922006-04-02T16:59:00.000+05:302006-04-02T16:59:00.000+05:30@mindcurry, I am so glad that you feel the same wa...@mindcurry, I am so glad that you feel the same way. I am hopping mad here grrr.Why is it that it is the girl who has to take charge of the house and cooking? These are physically exhausting work especially for girls of today who have to put in long hours of work at the office. Being a housewife is not the solution as the men question every expenditure and demean them by not giving them enough silverinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474136215458639419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23425148.post-1143972104647703172006-04-02T15:31:00.000+05:302006-04-02T15:31:00.000+05:30I am soooo mad too!! I am at the verge of getting ...I am soooo mad too!! <BR/><BR/>I am at the verge of getting tired speaking out against such pathetic discriminations. I think its max in Kerala, though I am not sure about other states, coz I really cant compare it with Bangalore.<BR/><BR/>The guys are only to blame for this situation. Their egos or whatever else it is does not allow their wives to earn better or have a better repute in terms of Mind Curryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11788912357913882065noreply@blogger.com